well i started my realtionship with my best friend and we knew each other for 6years and we started dating and when he get made he harp's on what had happen to me and not only that he talk's about kids and my family and make it seem like nothing and i came to him like he was the last solution but we been together for 3 month's and all he do is harp on my past what should i do cause i done got to the point that i feel that he's trying to blackmail me about my past
2007-02-26 04:08:48 · 15 answers · asked by MRS DEE 2 U 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dear Love, you left me 6 years ago because I wasn't the guy your sister wanted you to be with and I resented your sister for running your life. You ended up with that guy and you said you hated every minute of it, but the two of you have 2 kids together. Now that he did all of his dirt, cheated, and finally lost you I opened my heart, life, and door to you and his kids. Now he is trippin' and calling your cellphone day and night. I admit I screamed "WHAT THE HELL?!?" when you told him that you wasn't with anybody and if he stops bugging you so much, you will think about getting back with him. Do you know how that made me feel? I just wanted you and everybody else to know how much I love and care about you and your kids. You seem at peace here at my house and the kids have their own bedroom and playroom. I want this to work. Even your sister said you are happier and that she made a bad judgement call. I love you so much -- I never stopped. ~Jay R Ashton (jr_ashton).
2007-03-06 03:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by jr_ashton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody just back off with the insults. Have respect for the lady since she's coming to us for answers that's what we're here for. Did something really bad happen in the past? You said friends for 6 years, but together for only 3 months. Why not together 6 years? He talks about having kids? Or talks about your kids and family? Or did you get pregnant by someone else during those 6 years or what? People are always curious about their partner's past, but the past is the past. Something major had to have happened to keep him stuck on the past. The easiest thing is to leave him, but that's not good advice. There was a friendship first, so it seems you can talk to him about this. Males are not big on expressing feelings so we can't cope unless you ask us directly what's wrong. I bet you can resolve this on your own. I'm reading all your questions and it seems you had a lot of man problems, so let's find out where the real problem is.
My e-mail is Deontae_Martinez@yahoo.com. Former Youth Counselor at the Boys & Girls Club of America in St. Louis.
2007-02-26 13:28:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you should look toward the future if you want the realtionship to go anywhere. The past is gone forever and you should let it go! Live for the moment, you never know what the future may bring! Dont waste your time on the past...it only causes problems. So, maybe he likes problems and you need to move on to better things in life! Lifes too short, so live it up with no regrets. Its your life ...so live it how you want, and dont let anyone bring you down, do whatever makes you happy! Thats all that matters!
2007-02-26 12:15:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to them that the thought of them bringing up your past must mean a.) they do not trust you.
b.) they are ashamed of your past
c.) they are insecure about the "right now"
Maybe you should see if this is a relationship that they are comfortable with. everyonr that dates has a past of some sort. it's either your first time at dating or you have dated, still what went on from then to the "right now" should not matter to someone that wants to be with you for you.
Also remember, it takes guy's longer to mature than women.
Hope this helps out a little, I know everyone else will give good advice also.
2007-02-26 12:14:50 · answer #4 · answered by cliffpics247 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant handle a relationship that is based on youe passed ... In order to live a life filled with happiness .... You must forget the passed ... Forgeting the past means to forgive and close the chapter and NEVER OPEN IT UP again....... If the past is re opening .. that means that that person is not completelly healed with what happend and you cant move on ,, with that resentment in your life ....
*** You can ruin the present thinking about the past .. , and there will be no future... ***
Try to ask for forgiveness ... and if it donsnt work sweety .. let it go ..!
2007-02-26 12:19:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every person has a past during your fights or talking theres no need to throw your past on your face.Tell him he has a past too.As for you two being together if he cant get through your past keeps bringing it up then just leave him if not tell him you dont want him keeping on harping on your past.Men sometimes tend to do it.But on other ways i have no past like a past bf or relationship yet my man keeps bringing my past up(past in our relationship)i told we dont go into what happened between us in past we talk about present and future or move on.goodluck
2007-02-26 12:14:19 · answer #6 · answered by aguardianangel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
three months isn't long enough for you not to be able to leave him. I was in that situation before and well, notice it is past tense. You shouldn't be with someone who will way you down like that. The past is the past. Find someone that will move along with you. You'll find life comes much easier and smoother when you work for the future. The past dead weight. He has a problem with himself. It's much bigger than you sweetie.
2007-03-06 07:23:02 · answer #7 · answered by Lawrence D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you handle it? You don`t handle it you run away from the bully. You don`t need him. Today he is blackmailing you because of your past, tomorrow he might beat you up. Leave him, if he loved you, he wouldn`t even ask you about your past or if he knew about your past, he wouldn`t care that much. Don`t handle it, just walk away.
2007-02-26 12:14:21 · answer #8 · answered by Lanalee W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the dumbasse!
Come to my site and find a real man for free!
He has no respect for you or he would leave it alone already, everyone has a past and has made mistakes, so what!
I bet he isn't lily white either, or is his name Jesus friggin Christ?
2007-03-06 08:07:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all its very difficult to understand what ur problem is(coz ur language is not so clear).as far as i could undrestand, u shoul make it clear with him that past is past and we should live in the present thinking about the future (not the past).
2007-03-06 05:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by Nivs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋