My ex has been sleeping with the local bike and now she says she is pregnant. Am i wrong to say i dont wont my 5 year old to ever find out about it or have any contact with this child? I know for a fact this women sleeps about, in my eyes it may not even be his.
2007-02-26 03:25:16 · 18 answers · asked by sm80 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Evil Genius - this is not jealousy i chucked him out years ago because he is an alcoholic abusive womaniser and im v. happy in my life thanx hun. I would never wont anything to affect my daughters happiness or stability in life.
2007-02-26 03:41:31 · update #1
My ex has numerous children and she does not know about these and she is the only one he has access to. He has said he doesnt want this child but its not his choice which i agree with. I just feel if he didnt want to get his feet wet he should have put his wellies on!
2007-02-26 03:45:54 · update #2
I would not unnecessarily inform a 5 yo.
You x may have visitation rights (you did not include details)
But what he does after your divorce you do not have to include in your life Or your daughters.
If your x becomes a bore or seems to upset your family life , get a restraining order.
Wait till your daughter ask the questions.
Build a strong bond between you and her.
Best yet find an honorable man to marry and adopt.
2007-02-26 04:11:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think at 5 yr old you have to sit down and give an account about this but if questions are asked as she gets slightly older really don't see any point in lying to her, she will only resent you later on and you can't stop her father from telling. Please try and not be judgemental about an innocent child, it's not the child's fault she seems to be about to be born into this situation. I imagine she will not have to be in your daughter's company often and if you are really sure her mother would be influential in doing anything to upset your child you can ensure it is part of your ex's access that your son/daughter is not in this woman's company.
2007-02-26 09:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that in the future you must tell your five year old, whether or not this woman sleeps about is not really the issue, the issue is that your five year old may have a brother or sister,the children are not responsible for the behaviour of the adults, one day you may be involved with someone who does not have a good reputaion, and you could end up pregnant again!
2007-02-26 03:49:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not wrong at all, i wouldn't want it either but your child has a right to know if they have any brothers or sisters, my son has a half sister he doesn't know about, i will tell him when he's older (he's only 5 now) and he can decide when he's 16/18 if he wants to know her or not but until then I will not be taking him to meet her as I dont want any contact im happy with the way things are at the minute and bringing her into our lives would only disrupt things, I dread my ex having more children as I dont want my son to have brothers and sisters all over the place, my ex has a tendancy to get girls pregnant and then leave them just like he did with me and the girl before me
2007-02-26 03:32:11 · answer #4 · answered by Kate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gather I must be totally out of the lingo because what is a bike? I assume its not too flattering but nevertheless, it isnt up to you to be the judge and jury about this woman. Your daughter deserves to find out about this sibling, it is not up to you. Whether your ex is living a reputable lifestyle or not is unfortunately not up to you. The child is innocent, why should the child not know your child? Should the child be punished? Do you allow your daughter to have visiting rights to her father? If so then you will have no choice. And frankly I think she needs to know. She doesnt have to hang out at her house, but she needs to know about the sibling. One more thing that is very demeaning "in your eyes" you believe she is sleeping around. That is in your eyes only. Unless you have proof that is wrong. You once loved the man that is supposedly sleeping with this woman,,should anyone have the right to judge you for being with him, or having a child by him. Not at all. You are a good woman and your child is innocent so is this unborn child.
2007-02-26 03:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honestly yes I think its wrong to keep that from her. I think you should talk to your ex and see if he plans on having her get a DNA test and if he does wait until the test results are back before telling your daughter. If he isnt planning on but is planning on accepting the child into his life I would still tell her because he will be telling your daugher about it.
2007-02-26 04:18:42 · answer #6 · answered by Crystal F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my daughters dad decided not 2 c her anymore then went and had 3 more children in the space of 4yrs.now she is 8 and has wrote letters to him begging him even if he dosent love her anymore let her see her brothers,this has effected her only the last 6mths to the stage she didnt eat,wet the bed and had no self esteem he stopped contact at age of 4,as i see it you stopping her may backfire as thought would with me im lucky now that she understands its her dads fault not mine.hope this helps
2007-02-27 00:54:25 · answer #7 · answered by easty90210 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that this unborn child has nothing to do with anything. This is between your ex and you. If the child is his, then it is up to him, if he has visitation rights with your 5 yr old.
2007-02-26 03:30:06 · answer #8 · answered by Tenn Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one if it is your ex, then you have no control over what he does and with whom.
You can try and keep your child away from this sibling, but most likely it won't work.
Why don't you won't your child around the new child?
2007-02-26 03:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ms Brown Eyez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your child may end up resenting you if they find out at an older age that a half sibling has been kept from them because of your jealousy.
I wouldn't tell them right away, but they need to know - they are family.
2007-02-26 03:28:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋