Need some sound advice!?

Question

So, I have been dating someone for the last year. Known him for the last thirteen years. However, I feel like we have connections but at other times we have none. I love him dearly and don't want to hurt him but I feel like there is nothing to salvage. Then the days I really feel ready to leave he is nice as pie. At the same token there is another person that I have dated on and off not ever serious but have also remained friends with him for the last 15 years. He is the one that gives me the flutters and electric feeling when I am around him. But at the same time I can despise him so much because we have fought over stupid stuff and stopped talking. However everytime I talk to him I always feel that connection and wonder if he feels the same. Need some help!!! Any advice?

** Note I am not Banging two as the one person put it**

Answer 1

That is the best feeling, I like it might be love. I think you need to have that "flutter" feeling as a basis for a relationship that you want to be more than love. I am in the same situation. However I am older and she is younger by 19 years. We both feel that love connection and always connect. However, she is going to get engaged to this other guy for very solid reasons that have nothing to do with love. Which in the end, begs you to ask, What do you want for you in a relationship

Answer 2

In life when we first meet someone we are attracted too..we get these butterflies in our tummy..but after a while of being together these butterflies go away and we become comfortable with each other..That electric feeling also goes away with time.Love is much more than giddy feelings.it's about trust and honesty and respect for each other.You say that you had fights with the second guy so much that you stopped speaking for a while..well that will never stop.if you get together with this guy that is the life you can expect ..big fights that will only get worse with time..The first guy seems to care for you very much and relationships are not all fun and games there are good times and bad times and it's what we learn and how we grow with these moments that make us the person we are..just remember the number one rule to a good relationship is communication...if you are feeling down about your relationship talk to your partner and if he give you the old "i don't want to talk about it" line then move on leave both these guys behind there are plenty of fish in the sea and also you can't change a person..so the way they are is the way they will stay ..they may seem to change for a while but eventually the leopard will show his spots..

Answer 3

You have two people here with whom you are confused. I suggest that you take time to weigh both. One is someone you know for 13 years, and whom you love dearly. You do not want to hurt him, but you have had situations or instances in life where you would have left him, and his being ''cute as pie'' gets you to fall into the confusion. So, although he is cute as a pie, and although you started dating only last year, it need not be love. You knew him yes, and you do love him dearly, but perhaps you dont really think its ''love''. And perhaps, I think that too because I do not know just how bad he is to you, but it looks like he has been. This on and off confusion could only wear you down emtionally.

The other guy with whom your on and off, once again, shows that it is on and off and nothing strong which bonded you. Cos' if it is, it wouldnt be the temporary attractions that you experience when you are with him. Again, here, I do not know what you do fight about. With both it depends on the depth of arguments, and the topics on which you fight or argue on.

Turn around. Let go. Take time for yourself, and do it quickly before you see this entire cycle repeating itself. You have a situation here, like this guy of 13 years '''bad-nice-bad-nice'', and the other guy whom you know for 15 years which is ''attraction-fight-attraction-fight...'' Let go, and take a break. Weigh both. Carefully scrutinise not the love they may have shown you, but scrutinise the topics on which you fight with, with both, I mean. Somewhere down the line you would figure that the arguments or fights you have with each of them is different. You will know who cares for you deeply and why you've been hurt over how they may have treated you. Take it from there. I feel you are confused, therefore a good look at yourself too would be necessary.

Do not judge over someone being nice to you for a moment and bad to you the next, OR someone giving you those little butterflies, and bad and nasty the next. Think over. Both are dear to you, both are your freinds (first, love comes next)....and decide. I am sure you will not let this moment slip away and make the wrong choice....I mean a choice that will stick with you permanently.

Answer 4

You sound like you are all over the place. are you dating the one guy exclusively now, or are you kinda seeing them both?

It sounds to me like neither one really floats your boat, but you may be suffering from a 'grass is greener' syndrome. If you leave boyfriend A for boyfriend B, those little fights will turn into major irritants.

If you are thrilled with either, why not close both, take some time for yourself and start the search over again?

Answer 5

Flip a coin.Heads you stay with you current b/f and tails you go with the other. You do realize that the guy that gives you the flutters may not last and your butt will be alone.

Answer 6

Hmmmm... sounds like you're in quite a pickle. If you ask me, I'd just follow your heart. No one is gonna be able to dictate the choices that you make. You just have to go with who you feel you'll be better off with, and thats that. That's all I can tell you. I'm sure you'll make the right choice. Good Luck.