My bf and I stared goung out about a month ago (hes 24,im 20). We had sex for the first time on Valentine's day, and he went really quickly,we ahd it again later that night, and the same thing. he sid i 'over stimulated' him. I wanted to have sex last tuesday and he kept saying he was too tired. we ended up having sex quickly and then he stopped without coming and just wanted to cuddle. This weekend, we went away with a bunch of friends. we had our own room and he still didnt try anything. On saturday night, i really wanted to,we were about to then he said he ws tired again. I DONT GET THIS!!! Not to be conceited, but i am a pretty girl. So then what is it? I think we should be having more sex than this...I just dont know how to bring it up without sounding weird. I just REALLY dont understand what the problem is!!!!!!!
Also, i want to spend more time with him, how do i talk to him about this without sounding needy?we are usually out with friends
2007-02-26 03:18:12 · 14 answers · asked by kimmy_717 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, I think he's insecure about sex. Try not to make him feel you think less of him for his "quick draw" That will make it worse.
A Male ego is a powerfull thing.
If you want to stay with him, then it's something you'll both have to work on. Several guys on here recently have asked how they
can last longer. Mabye one of them was him?
And some advice, you can make love making last ALL night.
Kissing, holding, talking, exploring with no pressure as to the outcome, giving and recieving. Good luck!
2007-02-26 03:28:45 · answer #1 · answered by redman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! In the guys defense, like u said u r a pretty girl and it was your first time so he probably was "over stimulated" but still he should have taken his time if he wanted to last longer. The second and third times though it seems like he was just trying to get what he need from u in the bed room without concern for what u wanted. If he did care, it would have lasted longer. I mean if i met a girl who I actually like who could do that for me on regular basis would do it as many times as possible.
I think that he keeps saying that he's tired because he knows that he could only go for a couple of seconds/minutes and he doesn't want to keep embarrassing himself. I don't get why he stopped and just wanted to cuddle though. He had already started so I don't know why he wouldn't go all the way through with it. Maybe he realized that climaxing so quickly and then being finished with it made him look like he was only in it for himself so he stopped and cuddled u because he thought that it would show alittle more intimacy instead of just his usual "get in get out" trick, LOL. If u want to do it more or just spend more time with him you should talk to him and set something up. While u r together u could tell him that u enjoyed the outing and tell him that u want to do it more. Don't be afraid to take some initiative. U might want to try to help him do something about how fast he finishes to if u have a problem with it. Encourage more touching and kissing. If he isn't cool with trying to satisfy u then he isn't the guy for u. LOL!
2007-02-26 11:49:36 · answer #2 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kim,
It sounds to me like you have a higher sex drive than he does and he suffers from a lack of experience, control or both. Tell him how you feel, let him know that you care about his feelings, but that you care about your own as well. There are exercises a man can do to prolong an orgasm as well as fend off the impending climax when he feels like cutting loose. he needs to talk to you while you're going at it and maybe you two can engage in longer foreplay and massage to ease into a more comfortable rythym before the actual slap & tickle starts. If you look good, smell good and are ready willing and able, he's got some issues to work on that you may or may not be able to assist him with...
2007-02-26 11:29:25 · answer #3 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is just 24 and too tired for sex?
Wow, he may be still in shock from having sex for the first time.
U folks are young , u should be having sex 3 times a day.
Well, if he cant cut the mustard, u need to find someone that will.
Go sow your wild oats while u are young.
2007-02-26 11:24:31 · answer #4 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kimmy, are you putting to much pressure on him to perfrom. ?You may be out doing him. He may feel intimidated by your beauty. He may be self conscious. If you ask men they usually never tell the truth. Every guy I've ever known is self -conscious about their performance. Kimmy ,if you are having sex with this guy already and you can't even talk to him about a problem, then you might want to look more into what you are doing? If you are able to have sex and can not communicate,GIRL THERE IS SOMETHING MOST DEFINITELY WRONG.Go out alone and then straight out ask him is there anything he needs to tell you , because you feel like something is wrong?. If you are having sex my lord and can't even talk about it. You need to question your OWN SELF baby girl. Don't give your precious self to anyone you can't communicate with!!! Put More Value on Your Self. Don't you think you deserve it? Darling please don't take me the wrong way, but it's real important to know a man before you give your self to them. Good Luck Friend- God Bless-Be Careful!!!
2007-02-26 11:46:07 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It probally isn't that he doesn't want to have sex with you, it's probally that he is extremely self conscious because he's been coming too early the last few times you've had sex, so he wants to try to avoid that experience. Next time you have sex, don't make him feel guilty about it, cause it's tough on guys when that sort of thing happens.
2007-02-26 11:24:39 · answer #6 · answered by in_my_mind2006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I had that plm like he did and Guess what I now making sure my wife gets her first and then my and gosh that was the best thing in the world.... and I enjoy do that... and You should talk to him about that... and I am thinking that he not into sex... and let him know and if he don't care and not want to work it out then dump him and find someone else.
2007-02-26 11:23:34 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
god well he lucky u love sex if only he shared.
like this my gf did to me i was watching tv she dimed the lights came in she was in high heels and oiled up she started like stripping and fingering her self then she gave me head for like ever i enjoyed of course i turned the tv off and then we had sex it was my late birthday present even though she ready got me one.
she was really turnned on and we went like all night. normally we
tell each other this was unexpected and it happens more and more.
i dont know talk to him and try something like that. i was bumbed a little i missed the game oh well.
2007-02-26 11:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by cactus78 p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already sound needy. What makes him so good that you want to stick around even though he doesn't seem into you sexually? If you love him then quit complaining about your love life. If you want more then tell him so. If that doesn't bring a change to the relationship then move on.
2007-02-26 11:26:36 · answer #9 · answered by masterzuaba 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sounds to me like he got what he wanted. Watch for him to move on to the next one.
2007-02-26 11:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by Dee G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋