okay I have this friend, and her and I are very close friends. she's 25 yrs of age. We spend alot of time together and we just are not intimate because of our friendship. But recently I have express to her that I liked her and she always says she's not ready and when she's ready I will be the first person she will come too. It's been over a year and I don't press the issue. She claims that she's healing from her past.. here is the what I did--- I created a email account and sent her a letter pretending to be some guy showing interest. I sent a picture of some model and we began emailing each other everyday. she don't know it's me but she wrote back to the supposed new guy that she's interested and and she already healed and wants a man now.
why couldn't she just be honest... should I tell her this whole fantasy guy is fake and so is the email address..
It's a shame I had to be sneaky to get the truth out of her.. never string people along it's not right...
2007-02-26 03:11:06 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The truth hurts but here it is.........She's not interested in you in a romantic way, and probably never has been. When she tells you that she's not ready for a relationship, she's just making excuses not to hurt your feelings. Making excuses is so much easier than coming right out and telling someone she's not interested in you. If she was attracted to you and wanted to be more than friends, then you guys would have been more than friends by now. And I think you knew this already, you just couldn't admit it to yourself.
When this girl finds out the fantasy guy is you, she will probably be very upset. She's going to feel betrayed, exposed, maybe a little humiliated. I don't think this was a very bright idea on your part. If it was me, and I found out the fantasy guy was you, I don't think I would be able to continue our friendship, at least not at the same level as before. It would really compromise my feelings toward you in a negative way.
I think you owe it to her to tell her the truth, afterall, you call yourself her friend, right? Just be prepared for the consequences.
Now go out and find someone who is worth your attention, and knows what she wants....you!
2007-02-26 03:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by lil1_mg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is better but sometimes we are not honest because we do not want to hurt the other person. Maybe she is not attracted to you in this way but did not want to hurt your feelings. Sounds like Friends is all she wants.
You are both going to be hurt and angry because she was not only stringing you around but you also did it to her, just in a different way. She to will be hurt and may not trust you again.
Seems to me that you can be honest with her and tell her, you could let it drop and just drop out of site as the person you had created, you could tell her so she can see the truth about these things on computers ( you never know who is real ), or you can just back away from the intimacy part of a relationship with her now knowing this is not what she wants and just remain Friends if you can. But none the less, you need to move on and find someone else to love that can love you back equally and share the happiness with you.
2007-02-26 11:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by shy_tender_lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want any chance with her...I would NOT tell her you are a sneak...and you used deceitful methods to find out what you know...it will not get the desired results you want...I would just email her as the fake fantasy guy...and just blow her off (nicely)...then...on the real side...I would just tell your friend...that you just can't deal with this kind of relationship with her...you care about her but you want more...tell her you've decided maybe you need to pursue other things...and to call you if she gets to the point of maybe wanting something more...and then you can both see where you both are at that time...that way she doesn't think you are just sitting there waiting for her...if she does have an interest in you...she isn't going to like the idea of you hooking up with someone else...but if she doesn't care...it was time for you to move on anyhow...but never never tell her you were sneaky...it would be a deal breaker...Be strong...have a spine...and do what you need to do to be good to yourself...Good luck.
2007-02-26 11:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. She should have been honest and just told you that she likes you as a friend and only as a friend. But after what you did you have no room to talk. That's a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. Two wrongs don't make a right you know.
Yes, you should fess up and tell her. To let her go on thinking this guy exists is not right either. Don't be surprised if you lose her friendship altogether. Both of you could benefit from the Value of Honesty Course 101.
2007-02-26 11:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by Arleen J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Dear!!!!! You cant really give her sh*t for being untrue to you as you were untrue to her also!!! It looks as though she just didn't want to hurt your feelings!! Whereas you were being sneaky! I know people do crazy things for love and what not but you cant really begrugde her for being a slight fraud when you were being one too.
You said yourself you didn't force it..........maybe she doesn't know your still into her!?!?!?!? And dont be suprised if she's just stringing this "email admirer" along................. girls do that!!!!!!!
Confront her once more, tell her how you feel but say nothing about the emails. If she knocks you back...MOVE ON. If she doesn't, well then all good!! (",)
2007-02-26 11:25:20 · answer #5 · answered by xxxSxxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You complain about her not being honest, but you weren't honest with her. Call it a draw and just accept that she isn't interested. You get back what you give out. Move on.
2007-02-26 11:16:03 · answer #6 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest w/ her and tell her this is just a fantasy. then find someone who will love u too
2007-02-26 11:14:40 · answer #7 · answered by leslie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was a stupid thing to do. It was the same as lying. What you did was much worse than what she did. You don't deserve to have a girlfriend.
2007-02-26 11:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SHE SOUNDS LIKE A REAL SLUT
2007-02-26 11:16:10 · answer #9 · answered by BIG DICK 69 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋