What do you say, how do you approach them and overall, what expectation should I set for myself for their response?
I believe I am well thought of by the parents, and I believe they think an engagement is coming. I was planning to not propose until after I spoke with the parents. Also, should it just be me, or both of us that speak to them?
2007-02-26 03:04:46 · 15 answers · asked by AU Don 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
my fiance and his parents went to our house last night. we had dinner, then my fiance started the conversation. he told them about our plans - that we have decided to get married, etc. at first, it was kinda nerve racking bcoz his dad doesn't like me at all, and i was really quiet. so my dad asked us some questions and both of us told them about our plans and everything. his dad said that he's kinda disappointed coz he thought that we're kind of rushing into things (we're really not - we've been planning about our wedding since 2006). he said that he's not against our plan but he just wanted us to enjoy more of our single life together. he wasn't expecting that we're gonna get married this year.
i think you should talk to them (to her parents - just you). tell them that you're planning to get married, blah blah blah.
good luck!
2007-02-26 03:33:52 · answer #1 · answered by Chelsea's Momi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should just be you. That is the more traditional way, plus that way, you can wait to propose and your girl can be surprised. Maybe not surprised that you are proposing, but surprised that it is happening right then! That's how it was for me. I knew he was going to propose soon, I just didn't know when. He couldn't get a time alone with my parents without me being too close by, so he ended up calling my parents when he knew I wasn't home. It worked out well for us, they said yes! The thing is, we would have got married anyway, it just is a little more helpful and the parents like it to ask them. I would expect them to ask you about your plans and ask if you will take care of her...things like that.
Goodluck!
2007-02-26 03:09:35 · answer #2 · answered by curious 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a lovely idea. You are actually supposed to approach the father of the bide to be but you can go to both. Ask to meet with them alone and ask for their blessing in asking for their daughters hand in marriage. Very traditional and should be received very well by all included. Especially if she is close to her parents. It is a very special way to include them in the decision. Best Wishes
2007-03-01 16:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by galixcysmagic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st. Propose first. It is her decision, not the parents'. We don't live in the Middle Ages
2nd. It is polite to ask for the parents' blessing. Go to them together with the girl and very naturally tell them you love their daughter, you'll do your best to make her happy, and you want their blessing for that. Then go on with a casual discussion about the date, the place of thewedding, and other planning issues, which are mostly your wife's decisions really, together with you, but she has the last word.
2007-02-26 03:14:59 · answer #4 · answered by cpinatsi 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take them to dinner and ask them if they will support you. If they don't, who cares, I am pretty sure you are going to marry her anyway. You should be the only one to speak to them, and then ask her. Her parents will respect you more for that in the long run. It is really sweet of you to go to her parents. People don't do that too much anymore.
2007-02-26 03:10:03 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree, I think the best way to achieve the respect of the parents is to ask their permission to marry their daughter. I respect your consideration. Invite them to lunch, and tell them that there is something you would like to talk to them about and to please not mention it to their daughter. And there is no easy way to do it, just lay down your pride, open your mouth and ask for their blessing. Best wishes.
2007-02-26 03:10:22 · answer #6 · answered by t2ensie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow I didn't know guys still did this sort of thing
It's sweet of you I guess you could just go right to them yourself and say with your blessing I would like to ask your daughters hand in marriage but be prepared for what you will do if they don't offer you blessings
2007-02-26 03:08:31 · answer #7 · answered by lilmrs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can go in and tell them how you feel about their daughter and then tell them and Show them the ring you got for her... and say this " I just want to come to ask you both first If is it ok for me to Marry your daughter?" They will say yes. I done it before I have talked to my wife's parents and I show them the ring for my wife and I told them I know that she and I have up and downs and We truly in love eachother alot. and I came to you guys to have your perission to marry your daughter... I know that I will always work hard to make this marriage work and make sure that I am part this family and I want you to know first before my other parents..." My wife's mother LOL she saw that ring and she said oh my god and she put it on... and LOL father in law said " he not asking you to marry him he is asking for our perission to marry our daughter... and both said yes... Funny thing her mother said " If you ever hurt my daughter and I swear I will break your both legs..." I told her "If that happen You got my perission to do that as well" but guess what we been married for 10 years and 3 kids and LOL making sure my both legs not break from her mother LOL.....
Good luck
2007-02-26 03:11:43 · answer #8 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband took his dad and they both talked to my dad and I was there also just in case my dad wanted to ask me anything. My father in law did most of the talking.
2007-02-26 04:44:24 · answer #9 · answered by jaliscience_chicana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say that I'm in love with your daughter and if you don't let me marry her, I'm going to fall apart. She's my day, my night, my evening star. She's the reason why I get up and go to work each and everyday. I love her and she loves me, and if you will I would like you to give me your daughter's hand in marriage.
2007-02-26 03:15:16 · answer #10 · answered by Miss Thang723 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋