my 13yr.old daughter doesn't want to go to school!?

Question

she has only been to school at the most,maybe 3mo.(if that),since the beginning of this school yr. as being a 7th gr. in jr. high! we've talked to the counselour&the principal, i just don't know what to do!

Answer 1

You aren't providing enough information...

Is she not going because of medical reasons? Distance? Social problems? Laziness?

You need to provide more information...

Answer 2

The transition from elementary school to junior high is often difficult for children but after three months I would have expected your daughter to have adapted. There are several questions I think you should think about and then hopefully discuss them with the school counselor and your daughter. First of all, is she afraid of school and if so, why? Fear of failing, fear of other students (bullies), or just fear of being away from the security of home itself (agoraphobia). Secondly, is this a new problem or didn't she like elementary school either? Third, is the problem the particular school itself and could you possibly enroll her in a different school? Fourth, is home schooling or private tutoring an option? Fifth, maybe she just needs a little more time to mature and you might take her out of school for a semester and let her try to get a job. Caution, she might need a work permit because of her youth and it might be very difficult to find a good working environment for a 13 yr. old with no skills or experience. But definitely, if you do take her out for a while, she should be expected to work productively and not just sit at home and watch TV or play video games. Sixth, and this is NOT meant as an insult, have you considered the possibility that she might be pregnant and terrified of telling you? Maybe a talk with her pediatrician would be helpful as there could also be other health issues involved. Finally, could this just be manipulation - your daughter trying to force you into letting her have her own way in spite of everything? Definitely it sounds like you need more information and more help. If the school principal and counselor couldn't or wouldn't take the necessary time to help you understand and resolve this problem, then you'll have to look elsewhere. Maybe a guidance counselor at the DPSS, the YMCA, a religious counselor, other family members or even an older friend whom your daughter trusts and would be willing to confide in. Good luck and don't give up. No 13 yr. old in my experience is really ready to face the world without further education of some kind but maybe it doesn't have to be at her current school.

Answer 3

Perhaps, she is being bullied at school. Talk to her and see if this is the case (it may take some prodding though). If it's not that, then maybe her schooling is too much for her or she doesn't have a lot of friends. Hormones also play a role in it or its more likely she doesn't feel good about herself. Keep asking and ask her friends or the friends parents about it (someone always knows something). Keep at it and let her know that you love her and want her to be happy and your always there to help her when she's ready to let you in.
Good luck, I know it's hard to see your child go through something you have no control of, but eventually she'll let you in (it may take some time).

Answer 4

Has she told you WHY she doesn't want to go to school? I think it's quite apparent that something (or someone) is bothering her there. 13 can be a very difficult age, and kids can be very cruel to each other. If you haven't already tried to sit her down and talk to her, please arrange for her to talk to a disinterested 3rd party. The counselor and principal don't fall into that group. She might open up to someone who isn't part of the "mix."

Answer 5

howabout instead of the counselor and principal, you talk with the kid? Call out her BS as far as not wanting to go to school. Threaten her with antidepressants or antipsychotic medication. Also, have a much firmer hand, she is walking all over you.