A friend of mine who always tries to be a good man, father and husband; always seems to get knocked down time and time again. He has no where to go and no way to go anywhere, if he had some where to go. He traded his car in for his wife to have a bigger vehicle to accommodate their kids. Now he says his wife no longer wants him around. I ask this here, because this forum has a very good amount of intelligent people that visit. I need some advice on how to help him. He is at the end of his rope and I am afraid he might go "crazy". He has no money,car or family.
2007-02-26 02:59:59 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Hmmm. It is taught that we should all try to be like water. Water nurtures all things but does not strive with them. It doesn't even try to nuture all things. It merely acts in it's nature and good things come of it. Your friend should be himself. If his self is good then good things will come of it.
And if they don't... At least he can be happy knowing that he is being himself.
2007-02-26 03:03:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be a good friend to him. Help him to find a way to pull himself back up. Don't be afraid to put your money where you mouth is if you honestly think it would help. The first step in helping him would probably be to find ways to boost his self esteem. It sounds as if he has be trampled down a lot and he needs to know that he does not have to be a "victim". As to why these things happen....well, unfortunately our world is made up of two different kinds of people...givers and takers. And oddly enough, one usually attracts the other. A taken can only be happy in a relationship that allows them to take...thus, they have to be in a relationship with a giver. However, the giver usually ends on getting the shaft because no one can give all the time.
Bless you in your efforts.
2007-02-26 11:07:46 · answer #2 · answered by Poohcat1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While everybody has things in life that knock them down once in while few of us want to admit that a lot of times we are the victim of our own bad choices. Did he marry her because she was a good woman or for some other reason? If he has no money, why?
As for helping him, I think you should help him sort out his problems by being honest about the causes, and to make better decisions about what he should do from here.
2007-02-26 11:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by Tanya Pants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His mistake was in not keeping some 'seed money' tucked away for just such an eventuality. He's not the first(nor, I imagine the last) guy to get his good deeds stuffed up his exhaust pipe; but, let's hope both you and he learned a valuable lesson from this experience: you can give a woman the shirt off your back, as long as you have a jacket to throw on when she leaves with another guy! Good luck to you both...
2007-02-26 11:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I truly believe God writes the paycheck. He will take care of it all. Often things don't look "fair" or right, but it only seems like "always get let down". Part of that is not putting trust in Someone who is trustable. Man/woman will always fail. If not now, sometime in the future.
Also, keep in mind that the male/female thing is really a sin thing. No one does right all the time.
2007-02-26 11:09:05 · answer #5 · answered by Butterflie927 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider this: The concept of "good" is a mental construct and usually defined according to the person perceiving the word, and all perceptions are based on the causes and conditions of the perceiver that help "define who they are".
It's far more skillful to conduct yourself ethically, in a way that causes no harm or suffering and so that you're not foisting your view of morality upon another (since such a view is incorrect view, i.e. not everybody understands your view and many disagree with any one given view of morality according to their ability, etc.), and then MOST skillful is to do it without expectation of an outcome nor reward. Such expectations are a form of self-serving ideals and will do you no good.
Hope this helps some.
_()_
2007-02-26 11:06:31 · answer #6 · answered by vinslave 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because people mistake kindness for weakness.
Unless he can make the first step, you gotta just support him as best you can.
Its crap advice but its the truth. He's gotta see his own strength an stop letting people suck all his energy out of him.
Just tell him straight, he's the one with the strength to give selflessly, but unless he does it for himself he's no good to anybody. Himself at the top of the list, that doesn't work if your a selfless person but you have to look after number 1 in order to help 5,6,7 etc.
2007-02-26 11:08:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive to him, be his best friend and let him know you are always there for him. Do some fun things with him that does not cost any money. For me during the most difficult times I try to find humor in the situation, laughing always makes us feel better plus it helps to let go of some of the pain. What about anti-depressants to help him through this difficult time?
2007-02-26 11:07:01 · answer #8 · answered by Tess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try comforting him with these words.
Ps 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble
Ps 105:4
Seek the LORD, and his strength: seek his face evermore.
Isa 40:29
He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
Hbr 10:36
For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.
1Pe 5:6
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
1Pe 5:7
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
It's not that he is good or bad or anything, it's that he is dealing something much bigger than he is and needs God's help. Tell him to trust God and continue to walk in love. Tell him to search for God's wisdom.
2007-02-26 11:16:11 · answer #9 · answered by SOGWAP37 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Why? Because good people are Not guaranteed a great life. In fact, they are promised a life full of persecutions!!
Now YOU help him in any way you want!! That's your heart reaching out to him and you will be a better person for it!! As far as Churches go, you should call one of them if he needs material things and tell them to Pony Up and Help Foot Some Bills!! GET REAL TIME!! Especially if he attended any of them and has put money in their coffers!!!Time for his church or Anyone's church to Lend a Hand!! Attendance or not!!
2007-02-26 11:18:21 · answer #10 · answered by Dovey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because, people that try too hard set themselves up for disappointments. But it could be that trying to be "good" he tries to help people that are less than desirable thinking he's doing them a favor... I helped out a family of crackheads, thinking I was doing the right thing, I got robbed, and they still break into my house whenever I'm not there....
2007-02-26 11:05:05 · answer #11 · answered by Annabella Stephens 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋