I need some advice. My wife has a twin sis and they are from another country. I just got married and her sis just got divorced. My former bro in law gave my wife's sister $1000 and a plane ticket and sent her to my house! I have had her here 2 wks, found her a room-mate (she moves today), bot her a bed, fed her and entertained her for 2 weeks. Her ex is very selfish, thinks I shud let her stay here 6 mos to save money etc. I work from home and its hard just with my wife here (who can't work now).
My sis-in-law is 23, she's an adult, but she has done little to find work in 2 weeks-she drinks all my coffee and sleeps til10am. She didnt contest the divorce, and got no settlement. Am I doing anything wrong by standing up for myself and making her move on? I dont have a bedrm for her as my spare is a gym. I think her cheapo ex just dumped her on me and I should never have agreed to house her. Isnt this his problem? She has never had a job before and I fear this is going to get worse.
2007-02-26 02:55:16 · 6 answers · asked by Chico 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Good for you. She's probably just a sponge anyways. She hasn't done much to find a job and two weeks have passed by...she's not going to do much to find work in the next two weeks. Most people don't really mean to hurt others like that. But they go through the "poor me" stage. She's had something significant in her lifetime happen to her that is painful. Also the thought of having to intrude on other people's lives that are important to them, can really depress a person. A depressed person can't find work too well. So you did both of you a favor by finding her a roomate. Someone she doesn't quite know someone that it won't hurt her too much if she were to hurt them. So she'll be more apt to find a job living with a stranger rather than here sister. Plus in a situation where you and your wife aren't out and about like going to work (since you work from home) will influence her to stay there, especially if your company is welcoming.
She's hurting you and may not be knowing it. So don't worry too much, some people just need that extra boost. And you're doing the right thing. Working from home can be pretty stressful and you don't really need extra stress on top of it.
And if there's hard feelings from her, don't worry it won't last long. She'll see that you were only trying to help her all along.
2007-02-26 03:27:33 · answer #1 · answered by eissalc_13 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've done the absolutely perfect thing.
You don't need to tell her to find a job.
She knows that.
Everybody knows that.
She just doesn't want to, at least not as she's freeloading at your house.
Sorry she's in trouble with her husband, but it's not like you are solving any of her troubles by giving her a free ride while you have to go out and work for your money.
She will have to learn she has to earn herself a living. And she will learn that when she's used up the last bit of free money she had.
You are doing her a favour, by helping her to stand on her own two feet. You've given her a food and a place to sleep when she needed it; you've found a place for her and bought her things to start over. You have done very well, and you have been very good to her.
I hope she appreciates it.
But now it is up to her to make something of her life.
2007-02-26 03:26:47 · answer #2 · answered by mgerben 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are right to feel the way you feel. She is a grown women and needs to get on her own two feet. How can they even think that you should sit there and support yourself, your wife, and her too. No she needs to get a job and I am glad she is moving. If she does end up staying anyway, make her get up and clean the house. She needs to earn her keep.
2007-02-26 03:07:07 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she has to grow up sometime soon and at 23 its time, and you need to direct her somewhere that is free, which im sure they do, that will help her get a job... and how to get a job, she is not a teenager she is an adult and your not responsible for her, let her ex take care of what she needs financially.... good luck
2007-02-26 04:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why cant your wife tell her sister to find her own way for life? I think it is more easy, effective, than you telling your sis-in-law.
2007-02-26 03:18:08 · answer #5 · answered by BSA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never agreed with your in-law brother to house her, so tell him he's got one week to get her out or you're slamming the door.
2007-02-26 03:01:14 · answer #6 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋