Wedding Plans But Then a Tragedy; Please Help?

Question

Ok, my fiance and I wedding date is set for June 30, 2007. We are far along in planning, and excited about the day. We've already payed vendors and my bridesmaid and me have already paid for our dresses. Now, here's the story:

My aunt passed away this weekend. It was an all-of-a-sudden death. She lived with me, and she was just like my very own mother. She had an aneurism, on Friday night. This is really hurting me so bad, I can't even stay in my own home, it's too many memories in there.

So, anyhow, she didn't have any life-insurance, my fiance and I have agreed to just having a small-ceremony at our church, and putting the money we were spending on the wedding towards her funeral. We are both born-again Christians, and don't believe in living together before marriage. But, with the circumstances as I stated earlier, I can't live in my house right now.

My question is, do you all have any suggestions, on a small but memorable wedding and reception we can have.

Answer 1

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Instead of having a wedding in one location and the reception in another--look at having it all in one place. Invite only those close to you. Avoid the seated dinner/buffet and opt for light to heavy hors'doeurves. Use minimal decor (you could probably search for a facility that would not require a lot of decoration because of its natural beauty).

Answer 2

Sorry about your aun'ts death. You can still have a memorable wedding. If you have access to a lovely backyard possibly from a friend or family member, I would have a lovely outdoor reception. Taking your vows can be done right before the reception at your church. You of course can have a minister of your choice marry you. To save money, possibly if you know a good chef or a home caterer, you could save alot of money on the food especially if you do buffet style. Buy your own wine, beer and soda. No hard liquor. Also, enlist some relatives and friends to help you decorate the backyard. Tablecloths could be paper and dishes could be a good quality plastic. You could rent some tables too. As far as music, get a big boom box with large speakers and get your favorite CDs with dance music and favorites and this will save you tons of money. I assure you that you will have the best wedding day ever. Lots of Luck to you both. Because you are having a simple wedding, I would look into a simple type wedding dress. David's Bridal is great.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for your loss. I recommend having a daytime ceremony with a small brunch to follow. I t would be very elegant at a low cost. Talk with your vendors about a refund or if they can accommodate your needs at a lower cost due to the change of the reception and wedding ceremony. Some brunch ideas would be to have a 2 hour brunch as opposed to a 5 hour reception, this will save you money. You only need to serve items such as pastries, an egg bake, mini tea sandwiches, cold wet salads, and ice tea & mimosas and coffee. You may not need a musician a harpist would be nice but may be out of your budget. Cd's would probally be efficient. The decorations could be done with the help of friends and family. Flowers tied loosely with twine in in expensive vases would be pretty. Anything is possible at a low cost just requires a little work. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Being a wedding photographer, I have seen many tragic but happy weddings. I am sorry for your loss and its timing. That is very unfortunate.

That's wonderful that you are taking care of her funeral with your wedding money. I feel deep down that you will have a wonderful wedding regardless of what you do. The thoughts and actions from your heart will speak loudly at the wedding, you will see. Others will show their hearts as well.

Regarding the house, who gets it now? Did she have a will? If you are the executer of the house due to the process of elimation of next of kin, then you can sell the house to help pay for the funeral. What's left over, you can apply it towards your apartment to live in until wedding time. Then there is the taxes which you will have to fill out for her (if she worked in 2006). That money can also be placed into the funeral and apartment then the wedding. There a lot of financial issues that will need to be addressed from a deceased family member. I hope it all will work out for you with money issues. With no life insurance, you may have to seek shelter with a close friend until wedding time.
Do you know of any business people within your church? Some business owners sometimes will 'donate' their facility to help a couple out, especially in time of need. It all depends on how well you know the members of your church. I have seen a wedding reception where much of it was donated to the couple since they were very poor missionary students. This was the business' way of giving a gift to the couple. You can contact a bowling center...a dinner&show banquet hall...anywhere which could offer discounts for large parties like a wedding reception. You still have plenty of time to do so. There is nothing wrong with networking within your church if people know of your aunt. A lot of church members are always willing to help out when there has been a death involved. Seek advice from clum members within the church. The ladies club always can come up with clever ideas and be very frugal with the end results.

I wish you luck on your planning and the happiest of wishes for your day!

Answer 5

To save costs on the dress, buy it around prom time at a major department store--my friend got a beautiful formal for a tiny fraction of the cost by buying a dress during prom time (or shop online if you know your size). The wedding itself can be in the church, and if you're really interested in saving, you could have the reception in the church basement or outside on the lawns. For flowers, if you have the wedding on a Saturday, maybe the florist who does the altar flowers for Sunday service would deliver them a day early. Ask the ladies' circle from the church to make the food--just because it may not be catered by a fancy place, most people prefer food that looks and tastes familiar (and good!). I'm sure that they would be happy to help you out. If you want dancing, get a friend to burn you some CDs with your favorite music; pop it in the stereo and then no one has to spend time changing CDs. Get tons of different-sized candles from the $ Store (keep them all the same color, like white) and set them on clear glass pieces; these are your centerpieces. Add your wedding colors with confetti, colored pebbles, leaves from the trees outside, etc.

Answer 6

Oh, I am so sorry for you loss! You could have your wedding at your church and the reception in the fellowship hall. If you are a member of that church there should be no charge for either one. There should already be some flowers in the church and you wouldn't even really need to spend money on more. There is probably someone in your congregation who takes pictures and would be willing to do that for you. You could ask the ladies of the church for help with the food and I bet someone there could even make the cake for a small price. And, I think God will understand your sorrow and your need to spend a few nights at your boyfriend's place if that helps you in your time of grief and you have nowhere else to go.

Answer 7

do what feels right for both of you. have the small wedding at church and the small reception. cake and punch only is fine. its your wedding. if you dont mind alcohol being served, go to bevmo or costco, by some there and have a cocktail and cake reception. if you would like to honor your aunts memory at the wedding, have a small bouquet of her favorite flowers made, leave an empty seat in the front pew, and as you walk down the aisle, place the bouqet on the seat that she would have been in. or have a small table set up with a memory candle lit for her. ive seen some very beautiful memory candles online that are inexpensive with the persons name on it that you could use. as part of your wedding gift registry, ask that donations also be made to a charity that your aunt was a part of.

Answer 8

well, first i want to send my condolences to you and your family. i also want to say that i'm pretty proud of you for putting your aunt first.

But, i got a few suggestions for you.....

1) get all of your aunt's funeral expenses paid off...you don't want to be left with debt. she would be happy that your doing this for her.

i know you've paid your vendors, probably put down all your deposits already..but if you've done this then you should see how much a cancellation fee is for canceling on a short term notice. i'm pretty sure it won't be that much since its 4 months before.,..so your letting them know ahead of time...

In terms of your wedding and reception....i would do the small church, but if your are a member of a church it shouldn't cost you no more than $100.00, you can do all your arrangements yourself, such as your bouquet, your bridesmaid's bouquet, and also with the flower girl you can get some box flower pedals from like a party city, if you have one for cheap for $9.99.

In terms of your reception, you can have someone cook the food for you or either have a restruant, such as subway, or maybe a local sandwich shop. for your photography you can buy a digital camera, and maybe have a family member that isn't in the wedding taking the pictures for you. as far as your cake, you can get publix, wal-mart, or bi-lo to do it for you. I know publix does a 3 tier cake for $197 dollars, i mean there are plenty of of things you can do as far as your wedding.

As far as your home, all you have to do sweetie is think about the good memories. If you feel like you can't do that then just find you like another house or something.

Answer 9

I think your aunt would want you to carry on with your life and your original wedding plans, not put all your money towards her funeral. I'm very sorry for your loss. if you really want a small wedding then get married in a small chapel or church and have a reception at your home or someone elses home and make the food and such yourselves. thats what my husband and I did and it was fantastic

Answer 10

First of all I am feeling very sorry about your aunt passed away.I can see that how much you loved her.I am also a born again christian I understand how u are going through. What I would suggest is u should wait like one more month for your marriage till then things are set well.After that u may have made a good money. And u can marry may be about summer.And the best thing I WOULD SUGGEST IS THAT BETTER THAN TAKING A HUMAN HELP ITS GOOD TO DEPEND FOR EVERYTING ON LORD.HE WILL GIVE YOU A HEAVENLY STRENGTH WHICH NO HUMAN CAN GIVE YOU.