1st haircut fouled!?

Question

My daughter is 16 months old. I have been looking forward to taking her to get her first haircut since she was born. I thought about doing all these mother-daughter things even before she was born. My wishes were very clearly expressed to my family (my own as well as my in-laws) Everyone knew that I planned to take her and that it was very important to me. Here begins the prob! I was sitting with my daughter in my lap and I noticed that she had snips on her bangs. I immediately called my mother (as she had been watching her earlier in the week) and asked her--very calmly and politely if she had cut my daughter's hair. I want to stress here that I was very calm and polite when I asked. My mother snapped back, "No and GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE!" My husband asked his mother and she said there was no way that she had cut her hair because she had gone through this before with her first daughter-in-law and we had had a conversation about this earlier in the week. What do you think?

I'm not saying that this is a HUGE problem that is going to cause a big fight. I've pretty much decided that I've said the last about it. I asked my mother, she said no. My husband asked his mother, she said no. I'm not into accusing people of lying to me. I'm not really very angry about it, I guess I'm more or less just disappointed.

She's 16 months old and I do like to think that she is ultra smart, but she can't work scissors. I do know that the people watching her are diligent enough to not let her play with scissors (I do consider myself lucky that I can be sure of that). She did not, could not have cut her own hair. She has trouble with her fork and she holds her crayons like she's digging with a shovel!!

Well, we sort of "fixed" the problem. I have this little charm that I got for a shower gift to hold her first precious strands that were cut. I just kept feeling disappointed Saturday, so we all went out and got the first official hair cut. I kept the little strands of hair, tied them up with a thread (there wasn't much to keep). It is an adorable haircut! I'm just disappointed that someone lied to me. I'm disappointed that my mother said, "Get off your high horse." I just feel like I went out of my way to be nice and polite in asking because I didn't want to offend her--there are other parties involved--and she just "blaaaaahahahhhahh." Doesn't care about my feelings at all. What I'm really concerned about is the fact that I'm not certain that my wishes will be respected in the future. What else am I going to be lied to about? I feel very justified in sitting on my horse! It's my daughter and I have a right to have certain wishes respected.

It's not the haircut. I don't even care about the haircut anymore. It's the "Get off your high horse." It's the "your wishes and feelings DO NOT MATTER." Don't get mad at me for doing exactly what you told me not to do. By the way, I'll do whatever I want whenever I want. Am I going to come home one day and have her ears pierced too?!!!

Answer 1

You need to relax...I understand how you feel, but seriously it's not worth alienating your mother or inlaws over. My mother in law gave my son a horrrrrrrrible haircut and though I was annoyed, I just buried it. Just put it behind you...

Answer 2

What I think? it's just hair, it'll grow back and you can pretend it never happened. I'd say if your mom snapped like that when you asked her a question politely, I'd wonder if it was safe to leave a child with her. Or perhaps you weren't as calm as you thought? Maybe your husband cut it and he's scared of you (LOL! OK, I'm joking on that one!)

I feel for you, I know the disappointment of things not working out the way you expect. But really, all these expectations you have had since before she was born, you really should let go of them. If you don't, your days will be full of disappointment, she's got her own personality, and sometimes life doesn't work the way you want. I, too, had all these plans with my first daughter, and she reacted to her vaccinations and is braindamaged. My second daughter is a complete froufrou, and all she cares about is hair and nails. I always looked forward to hiking and hunting for bugs and such, and being the mom that I wanted growing up.

Answer 3

It sounds like your mother in law wouldn't want to cause any trouble with you on this situation, and if your mom is denying it, then there isn't much that can be done... I am sorry if you are upset about the first haircut thing with your daughter, but it can still be done anyway... if there are just a few snips on the bangs, it doesn't really count as a haircut anyway... and you might be more inclined to take her in to get a cute do and fix those bangs after all... so, go ahead and take your daughter out as you had planned from the beginning and go do her hair and then take her for a treat! Make a fun day of it and take some cute pics too! ;0)
I do think that maybe there was a possibility that a few hairs were in your babies' eyes and a well meaning grandma could have just "fixed" that problem to be nice.... but I don't know....
Oh... I did such a thing once... but it was a whole haircut and my kids had talked to me about it... (I am a hairstylist) I had my grandson for the weekend... and they had asked me to give him his first haircut... but they didn't tell me that they wanted to be around when I did it... so I took before and after pics, saved the longest pieces of his hair and voila' he was transformed.. but when they got back after their time away... they were shocked and I was nearly in trouble... but it all turned out ok! I guess we just have to have better communication and lots of forgiveness! ;)
Good luck and have some fun with this ok!

Answer 4

Honestly, from the statement your mother made about getting off your high horse, I think she probably took a snip at the bang.

You know how grandmother's can be. If your daughter just one time moved her bangs out of her face like they were bothering her, your mother probably felt she had to do something about it and just snip a little off so her grandbabby could be a little more comfortable!

But then again, she may not be lying to you. Not to be rude or making assumptions, but does your daughter know where the scissors are in the house. Kids are funny! She may have taken a snip at her bangs herself.

But don't blame anyone just yet. Ask your daughter if she has been playing with scissors or if grandma was playing with scissors! You may be surprised at what she can answer!

Hope this helped and hope you can uncover the truth! ♥

Answer 5

Calm down - its only a hair cut. You've got to put this in perspective. You're acting as if someone kidnapped and murdered her, not just trimmed her hair.
You have the rest of your lives to bond and do things together; why explode over such a minor incident? I understand you want to be there for her "firsts;" and you missed this one. But what's more important, her love and the love of the family, or a hair cut?

Answer 6

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Answer 7

well it seems to me like somebodys obviously cut it and to me thats just wrong seeing as how you made your wishes known from the start and people knew how much it meant to you and rightfully so as moments like these are very special to a mother to look back on in years to come.

Answer 8

I remember my dad taking my brother to get his first haircut.My mom didn't know about it and she was let say not happy,you don't have to get off your high horse some one is jerking your chain

Answer 9

I would guess and say that your mother did it because she snapped at you. Usually people don't react that way if they didn't do something. Unless you have a bad relationship with her.

Answer 10

it might have been your mom but is there any kids around that might have done it but I hate it when my family does that to my kids this summer my son got his first buzz because his daddy messed up the trimming and shaved him bald and he had beautiful blonde curly hair when I came home my son looked like lex luther and he came running to me and we both cried.