About 4 months i ago my ex and i break up cuz he didnt want a gf or a relationship anymore and it really destoryed me cuz he was my best friend since 8th grade and we are both in our 20's and we dated for 3 months. Anyways i just started dating this new guy who i have been friends with since 12th grade. He is 19 will be 20 in june im 21 will be 22 in december. Well i having a really heard time letting myself go and i dont mean sexually cuz both him and i are virgins and he has no interest in having sex at all at this time and im fine with that cuz we are both scared of having sex.
Anyways the other day he told me that he loves me and it freaked me out cuz i have been told that before and the guy ended up breaking my heart. I have been cut and brusied torn in two and all togather burned to no end from guys so i never know when to believe a guy. I mean this guy is extremely nice and really sweet. Last nite we were on the phone and the first words that he says to me when i pick up the phone is "i have been thinking of you all day and i have been wanting to talk to you" and he also said "i couldnt get you out of my head" i mean i have never had any guys expecially ex's say that to me and i told my bf that i feel special and he said that i am special. He's just so sweet.
So my question is how do i put my guards down? I really like this guy and just everything he says to me is just so heart warming.
Any advice?
2007-02-26 01:38:56 · 12 answers · asked by preppy_gurl101010 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In a life with love, you have to let your guard down sometimes to be able to experience that rush of butterflies. You can't go through life with emotional walls around you. Part of loving and being loved is making way for the happiness to get in and with that hurt may follow. But you won't know until you open the door to let someone in your heart. The guy your currently dating sounds like an awesome guy. You should hang on to him and see where it takes you. The reason your exbf left could be because he sees you as a sister type being bestfriends for so long. He probably didn't mean he didn't want to be your friend, just not your boyfriend. Give it some time so you two can get over the awkwardness. He'll come back around to hang out sometime. In the meanwhile, enjoy the adventure of love.
2007-02-26 01:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a true sweet heart and that is rare...esp. these days. And that fact the you guys are still virgins and that sex is not a big deal for you, is AWESOME!!! As for you letting your guard down. I would talk with him, if you have not already. I would just explain to him that you have been hurt before and that you have your gurad up. But that you are in a place where you are interested in him, but am having a little problem with letting your guard down, for fear of being hurt. As nice as he sounds, he will respect that and understand. He maybe thinking the same about you? Like, does she really like me, etc...blah blah blah. I say seat down and talk to him.....Communicating is the a true factor in any relationship!! Good Luck!!!!
2007-02-26 01:47:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the new guy is willing to give you the time to heal from the old relationship you will eventually let your guard down. It took me about 4 months to not be suspicious of my sweetie's being nice and loving to me.
Bad marriage and thought I just wanted to play the field, but this one changed my mind and now its been a year and nothing has changed, still very sweet man and my guard is down with him. Made the last very difficult year tolerable. If he's a patient man, he will give you the time, mine did.
2007-02-26 01:48:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the guy sounds genuine. I've been there and as long as you look at guys from that perspective it eventually will turn into that, either they will get tired of trying to convince you otherwise or you will completely turn them off. A man will only try for so long depending on his patience. trust in yourself that he is telling you the truth, unfortunately there is no way to gurantee someone is valid, you just have to have faith. He sounds like he really likes you, so in essence don't be so mean internally he can only control what he feels, he isn't the other guys who made you feel invalid.
Unless he gives you a reason or an initial red flag, don't question him ingenuity with everyone go on with your life and never get too emotional you have to take the good with the bad in life. I young too, and have gone through this the best way was to detach myself in a way and carry faith with me. Don't be so sensitive in philosophical--I hope you understand. Good Luck
2007-02-26 01:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by Diva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can't tell you how to put your guard down, that is something you have to work out on your own, but if this guy is as nice as you say, you should give him just small amounts of trust at a time and go from there.
2007-02-26 01:44:55 · answer #5 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it sounds so sweet and wonderful. Just go with it and give it time. You don't have to decide anything right now. Just enjoy the moment and the future will take care of itself. You will probably have lots of boyfriends before you finally settle down. Just enjoy this! Stop worrying!
Dear, we ALL get hurt in love from time to time. When and if that happens, deal with it then. Don't ruin today worrying about tomorrow.
Best wishes.
2007-02-26 01:44:39 · answer #6 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the relationship one day at a time. Talk to him, and tell him of your fears, and why you're afraid. If he really loves you, then he'll understand, be patient, and allow you to move at a comfortable pace. Given some time, you will be able to let your guard down, and will start to trust again. Good luck!
2007-02-26 01:44:49 · answer #7 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seriously, life is gonna hurt you. instead of trying to figure out how to let your guard down, you should be trying to toughen up for the eventual disapointments you will encounter. its inevitable. people will let you down, hurt you, and break your heart.
if you like him, then just do your thing. and theres nothing to be afraid of with sex, seriously, you dont want to wait too long and be labeled "that guy" or "that girl". trust me on that one ;-)
and as far as he goes, im sure he wants it too. no guy doesnt, he may say he doesnt, and may convince you, but trust me that deep down somewhere, thats what he wants, especially if hes a virgin. good luck sweety
2007-02-26 01:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by Nooka 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you dont need to put your guard down --- at least all at once ---- let it down a little at a time ---- to fully appreciate the relationship you will need to make yourself vulnerable its part of the process ---- everyone has their heart stomped on ---- its getting back up and trusting again that is the hardest ----- best wishes
2007-02-26 01:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be hard but you have to get rid of that chip on your shoulder..and move on.It's seems that he is truly in love with...and if he makes you feel special just let him.Just do what your heart tells you...intuition .To me it sounds that you love him but you are scared to be hurt again...but you got to risk sometimes to find out...and it's worth it.
2007-02-26 01:48:20 · answer #10 · answered by lanicolette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋