I have this relationship that has been going on for over a year
She lives with this guy. We fell in love and manage to see each other once a week or more. Yeah sex is a part of it, However we really like spendig time together. We talk for hours on end, sometimes it seems all night. Everytime, I mention that I am frustrated with the relationship and want more, she gets upset and makes more of an effort to be with me. She says that she won't leave him, not because she loves, but because doesnt want to break his heart. What's a guy to do?
2007-02-26 01:31:01 · 11 answers · asked by The Other Guy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I feel for you,man. This is so emotional and potentially disastrous for you. Everyone else will tell you to forget her and move on, but we both know that this is not a true option when your soul is connected to the "wrong" person. I feel the best thing to do is act and speak to her in such a way that makes you irresistible to her for a permanent relationship. In other words, make her feel so special, so loved, so beautiful, without being sickly or insincere, that she falls so hard in love with you and wont be able to live without you. Ultimatums are dangerous because if you pressure her, it might backfire. She doesnt want to hurt her partner, but they only live together...its not carved in stone, and they are really not married or have kids or anything....After a little while, start gently introducing the idea of her dumping the other guy...remind her that he's a big boy and he'll be fine...everyone loses in love some time, he wont die from a broken heart, that you two were meant to be together and that she is only deceiving him and herself by staying with him...that she deserves to be truly happy and that the way you two are connected is a once in a lifetime thing that she shouldnt take for granted...that when he eventually discovers the truth (and she will get found out one day, believe me) he will be even more devastated than if she tells him now, that dumping him is really a favour to him because it will give him a chance to find someone that truly loves him for himself ,not out of obligation...Make her realise that she's in too deep with you and that she has to choose to let him go for everybody's sake...I really hope this helps...you sound like a nice guy and I hope it works out for you...
2007-02-26 01:47:48 · answer #1 · answered by Sterglaw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on and find someone that wants to be with you 24/7 not just when shes feeling bored of her relationship. Sounds like your being used, if she liked being with you that much she would leave him. Shes not being fair to either of you by cheating. I guarantee if you tell her its over and its all or nothing you'll either have her to yourself or if she decides not to see you anymore then you know you was being used. Would you really want to be with someone though who started a relationship whilst still in another? How do you know she wont do the same to you?
2007-02-26 09:46:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her not wanting to break the other guy's heart may sound like a cop-out or excuse but I have been in her shoes (well, I actually still am...)
I guess what you need to ask yourself, what do you want from this relationship? Marriage?
Is she engaged to the other guy?
2007-02-26 09:34:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are they married with this other guy? If not then she does not love you but she find pleasure in having you arround. Listen, she loves her man more than you all that you are doing is just a sin and that is punishable. Why would you waste your time with somebody who is not prepared to be with you? Find the right person for you AND LEAVE HER ALONE.
2007-02-26 09:37:10 · answer #4 · answered by Dr Yahoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea sounds like she wants to have the both of you..if you're ok w/sharing a girlfriend then go ahead and stay but if you really wanna get serious its time to let her go and find someone else who isint held up to someone already
2007-02-26 09:39:55 · answer #5 · answered by bebekaychic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on. If she isn't willing to fight and do whatever it takes to be with you then why should you have to wait? It's not fair. It's going to hurt leaving her but it's the best thing to do in the end for yourself....you need to look out for you first then others.
2007-02-26 09:34:58 · answer #6 · answered by janellekel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get what you can and hope for the best because she is showing you that she cares about him too but if she cared about you more she would leave him! So its up to you and good luck!
2007-02-26 09:36:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not going anywhere. You need to find a new woman, one who isn't attached to someone else.
2007-02-26 09:34:50 · answer #8 · answered by Aimee L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she loves him let her go..theres more fish in the sea if ya now what i mean.
2007-02-26 09:34:26 · answer #9 · answered by Kyle M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to chose him or you that she can't have it both ways
2007-02-26 09:34:42 · answer #10 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋