I have the two wedding rings and the engagment ring which was valued at £1400. Understandably the Jewlers doesnt want them back, (who would want to buy jinxed rings).
The stag do is paid for (but luckily overlaps with my birthday weekend and will still be used)
The honeymoon is all booked and paid for, and she has the wedding dress.
What a mess! Any tips for salvaging cash to help me buy her out the house and to help her move on with her life would be appriciated.
2007-02-26 01:24:06 · 14 answers · asked by spats69ie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
ebay? craigs list?
2007-02-26 01:29:44 · answer #1 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might be able to get some of the money back for the honeymoon if you contact them right away.
She is morally responsible to pay for half of whatever was booked and must be paid for but you probably are going to have to pick it up on your own.
You may be able to deduct her half of the wedding expensed from her half of the house.
Sell the rings on e-bay or to someone through the want ads if you can. She's stuck with the dress and the cost thereof.
As to helping her get on with her life. That's a tough one. Seeing as she dumped you, then you can give her a month to get out of the house - lock, stock and barrel. You can be a stupendous person and offer to help her move or just tell her to hand over the keys, change the locks and make an appointment for someone to be there when her movers show up.
Hopefully you won't be forced to sell the house.
Sorry to hear about her dumping you. No consolation, I'm sure, but better now than after the wedding and then the divorce.
2007-02-26 09:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you and am sorry to hear you are in this situation but as hard as it is to hear be happy that she told you now, not after the wedding or 2 years from now. You can sell the rings, bring a friend on the honeymoon and have a laugh or sell the tickets on ebay (most airlines you can change the name on the booking for a fee).
I also think she shouldn't be to hard on you about getting money for her part of the house, she left you suddenly after all. Sit down and talk about it like adults. If you can;t afford to buy her out then sell the house and find a new place for yourself, might be a better option than staying in your shared house with the momeories. Make a fresh start.
Best of luck.
2007-02-26 09:35:16 · answer #3 · answered by missshoppieshoppie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear this but it truly is better that she's done this now, rather than go through with it and leave you later, with the expense and pain of a divorce to go through. Looking back, I wish I had called off my wedding even as late as the day itself. It would have been better than going through with it and I am divorced now, although I'm with a wonderful man now.
You must be so upset and no doubt the last thing you want to do is have to think of practicalities but I think you should sit down and work out how you are out of pocket and ask her to meet you halfway by refunding at least a proportion of it. If she refuses then I think you may benefit from a half hour consultation with a family or litigation lawyer to see whether you would have a case to bring against her for a proportion of the wasted costs of the wedding. Whether you would, I don't know. Go on the honeymoon without her (if you don't, she might take it and go without you - and why shouldn't you be the one to have a much deserved break?
In addition, I think you should ask her to move out immediately or at least as soon as possible, and see a financial advisor about your prospects of raising finance to buy her out. Alternatively, you may have to agree to sell the house and divide the proceeds.
Again, I am so sorry, but please believe me, you will be glad you didn't end up married to this woman. Just take a few deep breaths and tell yourself it really is for the best that it happened now and not later.
Good luck.
2007-02-26 11:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rings may be best sold at a 'proper' auction house, Bonhams, Chrisites or Sothebys, look in the phone book.
You may be able to get a partial refund on the honeymoon, check with the people you booked it with - I doubt holiday insurance would cover it, but you could check, don't let it go to waste - someone should go.
Wedding dress could be sold on the web, there are sites that sell these things.
Sorry its such bad news, but try and appreciate that she was very brave. Better this (as you know) than unhappy later. You'll meet someone else.
Have a happy birthday! Don't do anything silly when you're drunk and feeling sorry for yourself!
2007-02-26 09:37:53 · answer #5 · answered by Em 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear she has put your through this. Some people can be so cruel, but at least she has done it now instead of living a lie once you were married.
I would ask her for anything that you paid for or if it was paid for with joint money then ask her for it back and you will give her half when you sell it (i.e. the dress etc.) Take the rings to another jewellers that sell second hand jewellery and see if they will buy them off you, alternatively take them to an auction to sell or sell them on Ebay or through the local paper. Obviously you wont get as much for them, but it is a bit of money to help you on your way.
Good luck.
2007-02-26 09:33:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sure youve kept your feelings on this to yourself... men don't usually ask Qs over the mushy stuff... you're simply on here to get help to figure out how to deal with what's left over right? right!! So... I think others are right, while I'm a woman and I might no love the idea of helping out half if I were in her shoes... by god youve done this together and you sould get out of it together... financially anyway. The engagement ring is your loss I think, it was your choice... but the wedding, wedding rings, honeymoon, etc... anything you decided to do as fiancees, should be worked out equally to be fair. I imagine youre sure that it's not just cold feet if youve gotten this far? Should hope so! Unless you're Mr. Money bags and she's got nothing... shouldnt be all on your shoulders. Man this is just what I always wonder how they figure out in the movies... too bad they don't show any of this part in the movies or it might be more common knowledge to all ofus... but only real life is this complicated eh? By strong, treat her civilly and you'll get through this one step at a time. Don't lose hope in women... it'll work out better next time! Plus you'll know better next time how to do things right? You can always learn from your experiences. My condolences.... have an awesome bday, and like another said... don't go too crazy. You'll look back on this a year from now and shake your head... but this time next year you'll have figured out the next step in your life :)
Stay positive!
2007-02-26 09:59:19 · answer #7 · answered by chigaimasu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but from what you post I think I can see where your Fiance is coming from when she thinks you no longer 'click'. I appreciate and feel sorry for you that you have paid out quite a bit of money and naturally would like some form of reimbursement. However, did'n LOVE not come in to it? Normally if someone was in about to marry another this would be devastating news and they would be heartbroken. You seem to be saying well that's that how do I get out of this financial mess? Not many people would want to have what was arranged for a Stag do, even although it coincides with your birthday but I see where you are coming from if you can't get anything back there cashwise. No hurt is mentioned, absolutely nothing only how to salvage cash and you wonder why she thinks like this? You will find ways of selling the rings etc, maybe loose out a bit but you'll get rid of them. If you really do love her maybe it's worth one last chance and if you'see where you went wrong tell her and wise up. If you don't then it's no doubt for the best the spilt has came now. All the best whatever happens.
2007-02-26 09:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. I don't get why the jeweller is refusing to take the rings back, as they don't have to tell the next customer, do they?
E-bay is a better place to buy than sell, you probably won't get your money back but you could try the rings with a reserve. Check what other similar ones are selling for.
2007-02-26 09:35:58 · answer #9 · answered by sarah c 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could sell the rings on Ebay or privately. The honeymoon you might be able to change to a holiday to take at another time of year or sell that too.
You should get her to sort it out as she dumped you.
Apart from that, hope you are ok and that you will be able to get over her and move on too
2007-02-26 09:33:35 · answer #10 · answered by cavviecath 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
.Are you really sure it is over and not just nerves before the big day. She may just need reassuring that you both are making the wright decision marriage is a big step you know. anyway if you are really sure its over what you need to do is sell the holiday for cheaper than what you paid for it as it is still going to cost the third party to change there names on to the booking. then sell your rings on eBay as you will not get good value for them from a pawn broker. then get your home valued see how much would be left if you did sell it then offer her half of that profit.good luck.x.
2007-02-26 09:41:36 · answer #11 · answered by lou. c. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋