i have a two year old and she's spoiled....?

Question

if she doesnt get what she wants she throws a fit and doesnt stop crying for a loooong time!what can i do?i know she cant understand the meaning of no yet.i cant always give her everything she wants.like for instance, she wants ice cream in the morning.and like when i tell her there isnt any she'll start crying and wont stop.what can i do to change her behavior and stop her from throwing tantrums everytime she doesnt get her way?please help me.

Answer 1

Two year olds DO know the meaning of the word no. They learn the meaning of that early on. You need to stop giving in to her tantrums. As hard as it may be just ignore her fits and go on with whatever you do around the house. She will eventually stop crying when she realizes that she isn't going to get what she wants.

Answer 2

This is a normal stage of development. Make sure she learns very very quickly that throwing a tantrum will not get her what she wants at all. Make it very very clear that you won't accept that sort of behaviour. Put her in her room, or somewhere else where she can't do herself any harm and ignore her. I know it's hard to ignore a screaming toddler, the noise is designed to be distressing for you but the quicker she learns that she won't get her way by tantruming the quicker she'll learn not to do it. It won't hurt her to scream and cry a bit. It can be a bit embarrassing if you are out and about but remember, everybody who has ever had children has been there and will understand.

You may feel she is too young to understand no, but they learn it quick enough. The worst thing you can do is give in to her tantrum to keep her quiet, she will never (and I mean never) stop doing it then. You'll still be dealing with that type of behaviour when she's 25

Answer 3

Never underestimate how smart a child is. You say that she can't understand the meaning of the word "NO" but then you say that she throws a tantrum when she doesn't get her way. She knows that when she throws that tantrum, she will probably end up getting her way, so I would think that she can understand the meaning of NO. Kids REALLY need consistencty. When you say no, you need to mean it and stick to it. They are really kind of testing the waters. Hang in there, you aren't alone. I don't know any 2 year old that hstn't thrown a tantrum at one time or another. Besides that, they don't call it the terrible two's for nothing!! Just wait until the 3's!! LOL
Good luck Mom, she'll be fine if you just stick to it. Just remember...YOU"RE the one in control

Answer 4

She's smart enough to know that she can manipulate you into giving her what she wants, when she wants it. Do you seriously believe she doesn't know what NO means?

YOU are the parent. YOU are the adult. Act like one. Be firm with her. Explain to her why she can't get what she wants. If she wants ice cream in the morning, and there's none, tell her that if she doesn't cry, you'll go out and buy ice cream with her later. The bottomline is that she listens to you.

Just remember. No one has ever died from crying. She'll eventually get tired and realize that her tantrums have no effect on you.

Answer 5

HA! she knows exactly what no means...but she doesn't like it. Neither do I (lol). She isn't spoiled yet, but she is about to be if you keep reacting to and giving into her tantrums. That's why they are called the "Terrible Twos". they understand no and are developmentally wired to be curious and touch/taste everything...so they hear NO alot.

For the first two years of life we are at the mercy of our kids.... their bedtimes, schedules, feeding, other care if they are ill etc. but now its time to establish a routine.... Lay out your day including bed, meals, naps, play time, outdoors, time for you to clean house while she plays nearby. Its time to establish that you are busy when you are on the phone....you just watch how smart she is.... try it... make some pretend phone calls and watch her stop playing and direct her attention to you. Then be proud of how smart she is and call her bluff...lol When she starts to see that breakfast is done when its done. You mean no when you say no.....it will end FAST. My mom used to calmly step over my brother and say...I love you I will be help you when you are through...and go in the next room and fold clothes. The key is to remain calm. Don't give eye contact when they are misbehaving. Be stern with your no. A two min time out in the crib can help when its a behavior that is repetative (ie. touching the stove or tv....you know your own child and which things they really do understand). She's just growing up hun...take a deep breath, say a prayer, you are not doing anything wrong...she just changed the rules, that will happen about every 6 months now until she's say 40!

One other thing....kids who are acting badly are often bored....if there is no routine and not enough interaction she will keep demanding attention..... make a play time for the two of you every day--it can be play dough, making pudding, baking, dolls, anything really....keep them occupied....

Remember children are childish and selfish...they will demand incessantly.....she doesn't establish how much is enough--more is the only enough she knows because she is childish and selfish--you are her mom, you get to teach her how much is enough by setting limits.....believe me every drop you put in now, will pay in gallons when she is a teen..... God Bless

Answer 6

If my 2 year old tried something like that... my reaction: Walk away from the situation. I'd let her cry... or I would place her on the couch/chair and tell her she needed to stay there till she was going to be a good girl.

No way would she get Ice Cream or whatever it is she wanted. However, the next time we had Ice Cream or whatever it is she wanted... I would tell her she was such a good girl today and so we are having Ice Cream.

Consistenicy.... do not reward negative behavior, postively reenforce good behavior.

I am sure there are plenty of parneting books and what not you can read online...

Answer 7

She is 2 and it is normal behaviour to have tantrums.

When my daughter was that age I would say to her " I don't like listening to tantrums so I am going in the kitchen, when you have finished come and have a cuddle" and she would stop fairly soon and have a hug - she knew that I still loved her but knew that I didn't like tantrums either.

Don't give in to the tantrums, she will grow out of them. She's doing it because she has limited ways of expressing her frustration and she'll stop that soon enough. But if you give in then she will learn that tantrums are a way to get what she wants and will do it more and more.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Most important thing is don't under estimate your daughter. She understands the meaning of the word "No" she just doesn't like the meaning. I have 4 children, my youngest being 13 months and he also understands the word "No".
My first daughter went thru this tantrum stage as well. What I had realized is I had taught her that if she continued I'd eventually give in and if what she was asking of me I couldn't provide I would try to substitute it with something just as pleasing. I had created an unpredictable invironment for her with little structure and just as her tantrums were driving me crazy, she was going crazy inside.
A two year old, understands a great deal and what they don't understand they are simply waiting for you to explain thru words and examples. Their little brains are like sponges. The problem a lot of times is that although they can understand our words they aren't yet capable of expressing themselves as verbally as they need to. Imagine if we couldnt talk clearly. And every time we said something the person we were talking to said "What is that Hunny?" " I cant understand you?" or just guessed at what we were saying and responded in the completely wrong way.
This is what I suggest for tantrums... Consistency, consistency, praise, praise, consistency, consistency.
First, evaluate your daily schedule and think of how you can create a predictable environment for her. She needs to know what is expected in her day and of herself in order to be able to comply. Once, you have created a schedule to go by, stick to it. If you discover changes need to be made because it isnt going to work as well as you had hoped then make the changes, but not without telling her. Yes, TELL her she will understand. And remember the tantrums aren't going to go away overnight. More than likely it is going to take a couple months. Set up a tantrum spot, this is a safe place away from everyone else. Perhaps her bedroom. When she starts screaming, calmly pick her, with a calm but stern voice tell her "It's OK to cry if thats what you need to do, but you will have to cry in here!" (wherever the tantrum spot is) "When you are done crying, you can come back out here." and make sure she is able to get back out to the family by herself. If she has it real bad it might take a couple of weeks before she stays in the tantrum spot for more than a minute at a time, but thats were you have to be ready and waiting to take her back each time she leaves. When she does come out and she is calm you should praise her for being a big girl and for listening to directions. No surprise, just love!
Next, make a chart for her. A chart of all the things you want her to do. Using pictures to show her what these things are. When she does these things, give her a mark, when she defies what you want her to do, take a mark away. Once she gets all the marks for that task, let her pick a surprise out of a surprise box you have created. (using dollar tree toys and stickers. NO CANDY) This will teach her there are consequences for both negative and positive behavior.
I know how difficult seeing her act this way is for you. Please if you need any further information contact me at [e-mail] and I will lend as much of a helping hand as possible. When i went thru it I only had trial and error and strangers that never got personable in parenting classes to turn to. Best of luck. Take care

Answer 9

Im sure your baby does know the meaning of NO! She just doesn't like to hear it from you because she is not used to it. First thing is that you need to learn how to say NO without feeling bad. It's ok to spoil your baby but they have to learn how to earn it. Giving time out is really good, it hurts them more than if you scream and spank them, Believe me time outs really show them the meaning of NO. Im not saying she is never going to throw any tantrums, but they will be less often.

Answer 10

I agree when you say no stick too it..I have a 2 yr. old also who acts the same way. It's my own fault she acts the way she does because whenever I say no and she cries I give in and she knows it, so now I am learning to stick to my no's and try to let her know she can't have everything she wants...leave it up to her she will eat cheetos for breakfast lunch and dinner. There is nothing you can do about the crying but get used to it because there is no way around it, so just get yourself prepared and stick to your decision otherwise she will run over you in the long run.