can i balance work and relationships?

Question

my boyfriend and i have been together for about 7months now. i have to work long hours because my job requires it. however, my boyfriend fail to understand and accept that. thus, we end up arguing quite a bit. his excuse always seem to be that its not wrong to want to spend time with his girlfriend.

i do feel bad when we cant hang out, but he seems really stubborn sometimes. we even got into a crazy fight on valentines because i had to work late and he refused to come down and see me simply because we planned that i'd go down to see him. at the end of the day, valentines turned out to be a mess.

he has even contemplated walking away from the relationship before..somehow i managed to hold him back

but it has come to a point where im confused. my job isnt going to get any easier...and he refuses to accept that. ive tried talking to him to no avail..

i cant loose my job, and it hurts to loose him. exactly what am i to do? i cant sacrifice both

Answer 1

This is something that I have delt with. I work fulltime as a teacher and go to grad school at night. Seeing my boyfriend is a challenge. With him being a firefighter and always having a crazy schedule we were arguing quite a lot in the beginning.

It's not that neither one of you don't want to be with the other. It's more of how can you make it work without losing yourself. We did it and so can you. Here are a few suggestions-these are all things that we do/did to help it work.

Enstill a date night on the weekend or if you have any night free during the week. For us, we can only do it every two weeks. We take turns planning what we are doing and just going with it. It's important for you to show your boyfriend that you truly care and want to be with him. Another thing we do is talk at least once a day....even if it's just a hello. Text messages are a great thing to do inbetween. Whether it's to say good morning or good night, or just I love you. It let's them know that you are thinking about them. The last thing we do is each of us has a jar in our home that we throw change into. We made a mental chart for what each coin represented. If I thought about my boyfriend during my lunch and all I wanted to do was say hi, I may throw a pennie in the jar and so on.... At the end of 6 months we bring the jar together on date night and count/sort/figure out who had the "most thoughts." That person takes all of the money both jars and plans a date/night away/mini vacation whatever....

You can make it work, but it's really hard.....somethings are worth fighting for. You just need to figure out if this relationship is. Have a true heart to heart with one another and see if together you can work on trying to make it work.

GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 2

Him this kind of situation can no longer be a win-win situation it can only be a win-lose situation...

It's the common reasoning for a man to say that he only wants to spend time with his girl all the time... so don't fall for it...

You have to lose something but if you truly want all to work... go for counselling it the only way for you to get this all worked out if he does'nt agree with that... sad to say his only thinking of himself....

I'm hoping that he'll listen but if he doesn't im pretty sure his not the one... Real love can be painful but with the pain come the joy and happiness... but do remember a relationship is a two part deal... both parties must understand that there are sacrifices that they must endure especially since they got themselves into it...

I hope for the best especially for you... ^_^

Answer 3

You've already made your choice, clearly your work is more important to you right now. That's OK though. Just be firm with him and explain why it's so important to you. If he doesn't get it, he's probably not the right one for you. Sometimes we hope so hard that a relationship will work that we lose sight that it just might not be the right one. Life is short, it certainly isn't worth arguing over, talk to him, come to a agreement, or move on. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Your boyfriend is being childish and immature. He can't expect you to make him your top priority. It is possible to balance work and relationships (although I find it easier not to), but only if your partner is willing to take the back seat once in a while. I see no future for this relationship. It CAN be sacrificed, but there's no sense in giving up a job for it.

Answer 5

ifrom what u have said everything is pointing to the fact that u have to make a sacrifice since he is the stubborn type either you choose the job and forget about him or choice and look for another job.but remember the next person after him will conplain the same. so look for another job.

Answer 6

Relationships should be based on trust, equality, respect for each others ways, jobs, thoughts and ideas. You had this job before you met him so he knew then what to expect.
Dont try to hold on to him, for then it will be based on desperation. If he wishes to go, let him go and someone that has full respect for you and the job you do will come along. Be patient for love.

Answer 7

i think you should try to spent time with your bf for like 2 hours each day and also work

Answer 8

ask him if he loves you....try to reason out with him...can't he see the relevance of your job???
u failed to mention what ur job is....but are you really trying to be a girlfriend??u also have duties in ur relationship...

if he loves you, he'll undrstand...........





but if u really can't balance both,.,then i guess u should give up one thing....
if u give up ur love....dear,.,that's difficult...

if u give up ur job....are u sure u can get another good job???




Love really is difficult isn't it???

Answer 9

You mean 'lose' your job. 'Loose' is an adjective, while 'lose' is the verb you're looking for.

Answer 10

yeah... its just a matter of management...