biological parents?

Question

I would like to find my birth mum, does any one know where to start or of any sites that may have any success?
I feel incomlete and this is something i feel i need to do although i also dont want to offend my parents at the same time, they seem they dnt want to talk about it and i cant access any information without them!

i'll be 21 soon and have not long gave birth to my son- he is the only blood relative i know of!,
I would also like to know for his sake.

Answer 1

If you are over 18 you have a legal entitlement to see your files from social services and any relevant adoption files etc. Contact your local social services team at the council that dealt with you at the time.

Good luck

Answer 2

IF you live in England, I happen to recall, that at the London RECORDS OFFICE, there is a section you can go into, for information of adoptions.

Start at the very beginning - You must have a birth certificate somewhere around.

I take a visit to the local library, there has got to be lots of people who are in the same position, there is most likely a book that gives information about how and where to look. Lets face it there are self help books on everything.

Remember there is going to be a whole lot of soul searching, and be careful, your parents may not actually WANT to be found, so be prepared, get some support.

And as you are a parent yourself now, you know that anyone can become a parent - it takes someone very special to be a Mummy and a Daddy. You have probably thought hard and long about this and need to reassure your adoptive parents, it must be hard for them, they need to know your relationship will not change, its just something you need to know if only to put a closure on it.

Answer 3

my friend has recently traced her birth mother through an agency in edinburgh.it was a long slog as she didnt want her adoptive parents to know she was doing it(as she put it i think my mum believes that she gave birth to me it would break her heart)they eventually found she was living abroad had married and had gone on to have 3 more children.the agency wrote to her and she replied that her "new" family didnt know about my friend and she,d rather it stayed that way.it was such a heartbreaking end to months of searching.she asked the agency to write again saying she wanted no contact just one letter explaining the reason she was given for adoption and a little bit about her father who she has no idea of who he is.again the women refused.be prepared that she may not want to know.i hope it works out for you i really do having gone through it with my friend i know how you feel.

Answer 4

its best to start by telling htem honestly how you feel and how you need to find your birth mum to find a piece of the puzzle that's missing. just stress to them that they have done a great job and they will always be your parents and how grateful you are to them, if you take this route and get them to understand how you're truly feeling you may be able to get them on your side and they would be able to help you. better to work with them if possible than go behind their backs and cause pain within your family. good luck

Answer 5

go on genies reunited but you have to know some of her details like age where she was born any more siblings things like that or you may find some kind person on here that may be able to help you look.
good look hope you get good news remember there is two sides to every story so there could be reasons why your perants are keeping you in the dark

Answer 6

To avoid confusion I'm going to call my biological mother "Jo". Mum and Dad refers to the wonderful couple who adopted me.

I was adopted at the age of 3 but was being looked after (day minded) from the age of 3 months by mum and dad. During the time they looked after me there were times when Jo would sometimes not come to pick me up, returning a day or two after with a bag of sweets. My mum would tell her she couldn't buy my love and eventually decided to approach the subject of adopting me as she felt that maybe Jo was not able to cope, I had a half brother slightly older than me aswell who my mum didn't look after for whatever reason. I have no memory of this time or of the court case which i apparently was asked to talk in but my parents did not once try to hide the fact that i was adopted. I am of mixed race and they are both white, this maybe why, but i'd like to give them more credit than that and believe this would have been the case even if i were white. When i was about eleven i had an almighty row with my mum and asked for and spat "my real mum's address" she collapsed in floods of tears but proceeded to write it down for me. I took it and went to my bedroom, put it on the side and threw it in the morning. I never did anything about it, however the address stayed in my mind until i was approaching 18 which was when i decided i wanted to meet Jo. I never told my mum and dad or my brother or sister (their 2 "real" children) and went with a friend to the address from
my memory. There was no answer so i knocked on neighbours doors asking for Jo and unbelievably someone knew who i was! The lady gave me another address which i went to and found Jo.
I felt no connection to Jo at all and felt extremely guilty about going to find her (my parents still do not know, i'm 35 now). We spent a short time talking, i went back to see her the week after and never went back after that, no phone contact or anything. I felt bad just walking back into her life and then back out but it was just something i had to do. I'm sometimes glad that i went but also not as there were many questions i did not ask, like who my biological father was as i have no idea of my race mix. When i got to just past 30 i decided that i should go back to ask these other questions and she had moved and this time the neighbours had no forwarding address. It's weird because i don't feel incomplete i just would like to know my roots but i have decided to be one of lifes mysteries instead. Meeting Jo did nothing for me really apart from give me a lot of guilt, i don't think i will ever tell my parents. Sorry for dragging this answer on and on, i suppose my point was just that meeting them might not help you to feel complete and dont perhaps confuse curiosity with emptiness. I hope you were lucky enough to have wonderful "other" parents like i was because maybe it's just having them that keeps the yearning to know at bay. Keep in touch if you want to talk, I know it can be hard for other people to understand :)

Also be prepared that they might not want to you to get in touch. I'm not sure how i'd have felt if she had rejected me again, but i can't imagine for one second that is something anyone should have to go through. x

Answer 7

Best place to start would be to contact your local social services. If you are over 18 try registering with ukbirth-adoption register.com, and good luck.

Answer 8

talk to ur parents or care takers what ever u call them and try and get their help just tell them that u want to be able so see ur mum and u can't stand not knowing who she is or what she looks like or how she acts and stuff like that.

Answer 9

cousinconnect.com has a place where you can ask and maybe get help i have had help and found a 1/2 sister didnt' know i had.