How can i stop being like this?

Question

I have just got a new boyfriend (been together just over a month) and i am being totally insecure (i dont show this to him).

Anyway i have had really really REALLY bad luck with men in my life and this is the first guy to show me love and respect.

My problem is im totally insecure (i dont have a very high self esteem!) i get all upset if he doesnt say "i love you" at the end of a text if i say it to him (which is know is really stupid cuz i know he loves me and he always says it when were face to face) and i get all upset if i dont see him every day (i think he is avoiding me even though the fact of the matter is that i see him almost every day and he is probaly just tired and wants to spend a night with his family every now and then).

I know all this is ridiculous but i still cant stop feeling that way. I know he loves me and enjoys being with me.

How can i stop feeling so insecure about myself and just enjoy what we have together?

Thanks

Scarlet x

Answer 1

Hi Scarlet,

This is me you're talking about cos you're just xactly as my g/f..

Well, here's what you need to do, you've been so unlucky with guys, but fortunately for you, you've got one now, and you know very well he loves you, yeah you should feel insecure cos you've been so unlucky..

But i must i tell this feeling of you being insecure won't last long, you feel this only when you think negative, moreover it means nothing if he doesn't put the I Love You at the end of his texts, why? I believe it's not all about writing it or saying it, it's all about acting towards it " Have you heard a song called... More Than Words, by Westlife?' it says, Saying i love you, it's not the words i want to hear from you, it's not that i want you not to say it but if you only knew, how easy it would be to show me how you feel... cont...

i know he loves me and he always says it when were face to face, so you shouldn't get yourself worked out if he didn't put that in his texts, perhaps you already knew he loves you, what you'd do is, try and be greatfully, you see him everyday, and when he's not around you'll probably feel like dying which shouldn't be, he needs time on his own to do things with friends and family, and so, he xpects you to understand and not to start thinking negative by you saying (i think he is avoiding me even though the fact of the matter is that i see him almost every day and he is probaly just tired and wants to spend a night with his family every now and then).

Do you talk to him about you feeling insecured? if yes, was it all the time, if yes, then you must have gottten him tired of hearing it cos i got tired when my baby used to tell me "i'm scared i'm going to loose you soon" i took his fears away, did he do that?

Here's what you'll do, each this feeling comes up, just try and think about the happy moments you guys have shared together, i belive the feeling would surely go away, and about your guy, he's not tired, maybe he needs time to do some stuff like that, and the truth is, he loves you and feel something great for you.. "What he feels for you is real and there's no way it could feel like it's tainted..

Thanks for your understanding and hope this helps... Ab xx

Answer 2

Scarlet : Relax most times when we are happy with someone we enjoy being with we tend to need reassurance especially if we had a bad past experience or five.Just allow things to go as thay will always needing to hear him say i love you at the end of every conversation or text will cause distance to form between you 2 ,just take it if it doesn't get said or text and he'll start say'n it more cause he'll wonder why u dont say it as much-either ,Puts the shoe on the other foot.

Answer 3

Take a good hard look at where these feeling are coming from. You may need some proffesional counseling to get over it. But if you can identify WHY you feel this way maybe you can reason your way into not feeling that way. Self esteem is something that you have to be shown how to get early in life

Answer 4

Sweetie

It takes a good dose of maturity, experience, and time.

For now, try your best to deal with you feelings. Talk to him if you must. Tell him how you feel. Do some self discovery of yourself.

Have patience. And most importantly, try your best to supress those feelings. If you arent trying, there will be 0 progress.

Answer 5

I think that one goes on forever for the gals in love...

Answer 6

take your time and tell him how you feeel! mabe you'll be able to find an answer om your own!

Answer 7

booost your self esteeem...