At my wits end...help?

Question

I am so upset. DD was starting to sleep thru the night after we did modified CIO and now she is waking 3-4 times a night again. We were just on vacation for a week and she was horrible with sleep. She may need to adjust, but I am sooo frustrated with sleep, the bottle, her not walking, everything. I know I may sound harsh but she has been a pain in the butt since birth. it took her 2 hours to go to bed last night. I really do think my child will be the one on the bottle in kindergarten. She is sooo stubborn. I don't know what to do. I know I should chill out but I have tried every suggestion for sleep and for the bottle. We put water in her bottle, she loved it. Any other suggestions. I just know the older they are the harder to get them off the bottle. The sleep thing is killing us. She is almost 15 months old. AHHHH!!! any advice would be great. thanks Debbie

Answer 1

It was definitely the vacation that messed things up. She's just a baby - remember that. Stop stressing over it - if she's on a bottle in kindergarten then you can stress. How about a pacifier? And don't wish her life away, please. When she is older she'll just have other challenges. Once she starts walking you will be complaining about that because she'll be getting into more stuff. Try to relax and enjoy your child and stop worrying about what she should do when. You are the adult and you are shaping her as a person. Let her be and try not to label her personality traits already. She's just doing all she knows how to do to get her needs met, the same as you.

Answer 2

Bless your heart. I understand what you are going through. Please keep in mind that there may be other deeper problems causing this. If you have tried everything you know to get her off of the bottle and it is not working, then you are going to have to go cold turkey. One day just decide this will be the day and give her no more bottles. Eventually she will stop crying for it. As to how long that will take depends on her.

If you have not tried a little at a time weening her you might do that. Just give her one less bottle a day and replace it with the sippy cup. Actually do it by week. Say if she has a bottle with breakfast, then snack then noon then another snack then supper then bed time, well pick a time and stop handing the bottle to her at that time. Hand her the sippy cup instead. Then don't worry if she does not drink it, she will not dehydrate. Then each week knock another time off the chart.

If she is only taking a bottle at night, don't fret it right now, just put water in her bottle so she does not get bottle rot, or take it away from her and deal with the crying. Give her a stuffed animal in its place or a sippy cup with warm milk right before she lays downs. Always be posotive even though you feel like crap, and talk with with her no matter what. If you get a stuffed animal play with her with it so that you are creating memories and comfort the same ones that the bottle brings. That is what the attachment is about to the bottle anyway.

I hope that something here has helped. You may have to buy that stuffed animal knew and let her be the one to pick it out. If she is sleeping with one she probably associates it with the bottle. So buying a new one and creating knew memories will help. Never take her out of her bed but go in and comfort her and play with her stuffed animal while you do.

Just want you to know I speak from experiance, it took me forever to get my son off the bottle, he does have a deeper problem. He has Autism, I am not saying that your child is Autistic but there may be something simular going on.

Do not feel bad because your child frustrates you, this is normal and you are very tired. Just know your limits and take deep breaths when you feel these moments of anger.

I hope everything goes well. Be of good cheer it does get better. She will not be this way forever.

One other thing, do not worry about the walking. Some children are late on that. My son was eighteen months when he learned to walk but he had a developemental problem. Just keep encouraging her. If she is pulling up and crawling she is still on target. Just a bit later than the averaged baby. Give her some time.

Answer 3

First off - you sound like there is lot more going on than just her not sleeping well and using a bottle. If you are thinking you wish you hadn't had her - Then you need to get some help. You are probably depressed or overwhelmed , and not seeking treatment for yourself will harm your child in the long run.

Second -- she's fifteen months old and not walking. I'd be worried about other milestones she may not be making. You need to schedule an appointment with a pediatrtion who is familiar with pervasive developemental delays.

The sooner you find out what is going on - the sooner you can begin behavior modification and physical therapy.

The bottle thing -- You have to pick your battles - is it more important to work on her sleep schedule or the bottle? Pick one. Work on it. Then worry about the other one.

I always prioritize by which one is more important to being healthy. Sleep is definitely more important right now (For the whole family) than the bottle issue.

The bottle issue can be ressolved in several ways. Some moms have the child give them to a new baby. Some moms cut the tip out of the nipple and then tell the child it broke, to throw it away. Some make every bottle disapear and just hand the kid a sippee.

All of these methods depend on the mom being firm and willing to walk away when the tantrum starts. Tantrums depend on an audience. Tell your child - "I do not wish to be around while you act like this. I am going to another room." And do it. Keep an ear out to make sure they are safe -- otherwise let them wear them selves out. They will definitely sleep better afterwards.

The sleep thing -- be sure to have a very defined schedule for bed. A specific time. A specific set routine (brush teeth, brush hair, pj's, read book, light out.) The routine trains the child to accept it is bed time. You can allow them to be awake all they want - as long as they are in bed and "look asleep." I always told mine they had to pretend to be asleep, even if they weren't.

Answer 4

I have one suggestion:
RELAX.

Until I read your daughter's age, I thought she was about three or somewhere close to that. She is still a baby. I know that it;s hard to treat her as a baby when she looks like a little girl, but sometimes they still need to be babied.

She is still 14 months old- not everyone is walking at that age.

So what if she still has a bottle at bed time? It's not the end of the world, and if it works for your family, do it. You don't need to tell anyone about it, and I know of children who drop those habits overnight, so in the time between now and kindergarten, you daughter may drop this habit on her own, but if she doesn't, why should it be a big deal?

Since she has started waking up again, I have a couple of questions. Is she teething? Is she cold? I don't know where in the world you are, but the night time weather seems to have dropped like a stone where I am and my daughter needs an extra layer or two.

I hope that things get easier for you soon!

Answer 5

Make up a fictatious charcter "The Bottle Fairy" (a lot like the tooth fairy). "The Bottle Fairy" will come by at night and collect all of the bottles from the "BIG GIRL" and leave her a extra special price (gift bag full of books, puzzles, a baby doll, etc.) This only helps if you explain "The Bottle Fairy" to your daughter and she volunterly leaves the bottles out on the table for "The Bottle Fairy" to come and get at night. This is what a friend of mine did with the binky.

This is the method I used to get rid of my daughter binky (2yrs old) ... you could do the same thing with the bottle thou.
My daugher loves Sesame Street so I told her that Elmo had a new baby brother/sister and sadly they dont have sell binkies were they live and ask her to "share" her bikies with them. Gather them up, put them in a box, take them to the post office and "ship them to Elmo." I handed over the box of binkies along with a note that says "Just throw this away when we leave ... THANK YOU". She never asked for another binky again and she is 5yrs old now and still tells everything that she mailed her binky to Elmo's baby.

As far as the sleeping I really have not ideas on how to help you with that because my daughter has always been a great sleeper ... 10-12hrs every nite.

Hope you find something that helps very soon .....

Answer 6

Well for one, she probably senses that your frustrated. And 15 months isnt a horrible age to still be on the bottle. Try putting her down earlier in the day for a nap, and when the time comes to take the bottle away, .. just give her a cup when she wants the bottle. She'll get the idea after a few times of doing this. The main thing, is for you to be patient. She is just a baby and she needs to learn these habits and you are the only one that can teach her. If your frustrated, then she will be also.

Answer 7

At 15 mo. it's still OK for them to have a bottle at bed time. Your giving her water is a good thing as it's the milk acids that damage teeth. Have you tried one of those leak proof sippy cups instead?
One thing you have to remember no matter what the issue. You are the parent, You are in control. If you cave in to what the child wants, even for sake of peace and quiet, the child wins. If you put her down for the night, Make it so. Now I'm not saying not to check on the child. Making sure they are safe, dry, clean, etc. But that's it. Don't cuddle them, don't give in to their wants. Make what you say what you are going to do. This way they learn. Mama said ' Bed time' must be time to sleep, OK. Mama said " Do you need a drink, here is your big girl cup' . No more ' baby bottle'. Not for a big girl. As for the walking I don't quite understand. The child doesn't walk at all. Or just not when you need her to comply?? If not at all, see the Dr. If just not complying to your wishes, walk away, (stay in sight, perhaps where they might not see you readily), The child will learn this ploy for attention didn't work either, and they will be come concerned that you have gone on without them and come looking to see where you went. I
I hope this helps. I'm the Mama of six, grandmother of 7,( so far )

Answer 8

Hay,......girlfriend you are the problem, not the child. I know that you don't like to hear that, but it is true. When you put her to bed put her in bed and close the door. For a different reason I have a night cam (not very expensive) install in room and that way you can check to make sure that she is alright but she can't see you. don't go back into the room even if she were to get out of bed as long as she isn't doing anything to harm herself leave her alone. I'll bet you that she will not continue do do these things if she isn't given a lot of attention, Check out the Super nanny on TV, I don't agree with her about a some things, but there is more that I agree with than disagree with. You have to be the mother and she has to be the child, she is suppose to do what you want not the other way around. Good luck.

Answer 9

Im not quite sure what you have tried to help her sleep. But if you go in there and try to continually calm her down. That wont help. It only hinders her independance of comforting herself to sleep. I have a son that would only fall asleep in our arms at 1 year. Then it got to the point where he would awaken, when we tried putting him in his crib. It was frustrating yes, but it came to where I just said... let him cry. The first night was hard, and it lasted a long time. (seemed forever then) By the third night he didnt even make a peep. He knew that he would be in there, and have to sleep.
Another thing to consider, you said you went on vacation. Well, some children, dont like to be anywhere but in the comfort of their own rooms, beds, etc. Its a fact of life and how some infants are. It takes them a few days to adjust. But if you are not consistent in any way with your child, then here are the results of it.

Parenting is the most challenging job in the world. You dont have a manual, and its all trial and error. Especially with the first child. You need to have the patience of a saint, and avoid feeling stress at all costs. Your child senses that stress, and reacts off of it.

As to the bottle... dont sweat the small stuff. Thats perfectly normal for a 15 month old. Take one thing at a time and work on it, dont try to change everything at once. Its only harder on the child that way.

Maybe check in your area, for play days with other mothers, and children your childs age... they may have some helpful advice as well. And it will give you an outlet for your issues. Not to mention you child playmates that can help her do things that she doesnt do yet, just by being around them. My sitter has twins, and her twins taught our daughter how to crawl. It was cute.

Best of Luck, and RELAX!!!!!!

Answer 10

First send your kid to grandmas house and get some sleep. When she comes home let her cry herself asleep dont run to her shell alright. and if shes in the same room as you put up some kind of curtain so she cant see you.
my husband and i lived in a one bedroom apartment and our son never slept through the nite when we moved him having his own bedroom was a butt load of help. let her cry shell be fine