I'm in two relationships... Which girl should I continue being with?

Question

I find myself in a horrible situation with this... I mostly want opinions from other girls, since I know what the guys will say already -_-

I've been dating one girl (let's call her K) for almost two years now. I love her and all, but the time we spend together now is mostly sex, which I'm completely against. I fell in love with her because of her personality, which used to be so innocent...

I've been with another girl (let's call her M) for about two weeks... I have a lot in common with her, and I can tell she needs to be loved. She's been through a lot of what I've been through (depression and everything), and we both feel that love should be about trust and care, not about sex.

I know Yahoo isn't the best place to get legitimate answers, but I really need some help here. I don't want anyone to get hurt through all this (K is manic depressive, M is suicidal)...

The tough thing about this is that breaking up with either of them will hurt them. I tried to break up with K about half a year ago and she told me she would kill herself... I can't just walk away from either of them...

I know that being with both of them is wrong, but I don't want anyone to get hurt...

I'm such a fool for doing something like this...

My heart leans more toward M right now... I can connect a lot more with her, and even this early in the relationship we're already making plans...

Thanks for all the support in such a short amount of time...

I'm afraid to bring up my problems with K to her... I've mentioned that she's become more sexual than loving but she just passed it off.

There are also a lot of finer points that I have to consider. Like what my friends would think if I suddenly introduced them to M...

What the main issue is here is my change in what I want... Two years around I wanted someone like K: Happy, playful, innocent... Now I want someone more like M: Melancholy, deep, a good conversationalist... I realized that happiness doesn't come from always being around someone who's happy... Happiness comes from making others happy, and that's what I want to do with M...

God, how did I get into this?

I'm going to choose M here...

I appreciate all the support ^_^

Answer 1

the one u like best, i would choose M.

Answer 2

Just by the fact at the end you say you are picking a girl that is depressed, melancholy, etc. It is obvious to me you need to feel needed. K does not need you to be happy and fulfilled in life. You say she was innocent, and needed you, but now she has grown up, and see she can take care of herself. You say that you and M think that love should be about trust, and care, not sex? Well, she sure would not trust you ever again, if you manipulated her this long. You are selfish. Period.You love the drama that M brings to the relationship. All this trying to lead a double life, and trying to decide which one is better, has you concentrating on just this, and is keeping you very busy. You seem depressed. I think that K will not kill herself if you walk away. And I think M will only use you until she feels better. You are probably the one who is bored if no drama in his life. There is a better way...break up with them both. Or, if you are a real man, tell them both. Then see how it goes. You don't want to hurt anyone? Please...you would have never encouraged M them....Good luck being real...if even only to yourself!

Answer 3

some relationships have to end someday. if you can't see being with K forever, and even now you feel there is nothing to bite on in this relationship anymore, it might be better to end it now than later. if you can see the end to this relationship now, there is no point in dwelling on it. think of it this way: let K go so that she can find the right one to take care of her all her life, while you can be with M.

K has manic depression. that is gonna be hard. tell her you still love her as a friend but not in that way anymore. i don't know the cause of her depression hopefully it was not caused by a broken relationship. make sure she has people to fall back on when you leave her?

you have a good heart. my best wishes to you all

Answer 4

You'll have to be gentlee when you let opne of them down as they both sound as if they are in a critical position. Do you se longevity with M? Yoiu shouldn't feel youu should be with her because she has some problems. If its down to pity its not the right relationship to get into. What about K maybe you guys should talk a little bit more, i mean if you have lasted 2 years togethr already, something must have beeen going right. Take your time when making the descision. Good Luck!! XxX

Answer 5

neither.
you sound like you're saying that your love for K has faded, but i can't help but feel it is because she no longer is as needy. perhaps your role as carer is no longer required and so you feel less important and therefore, to you, less loved (?).
as for M; your approach is trying to fulfill her need, to play the required carer role. this seems to be a role you have taken with both girls, given their psychological states.
whilst you find a kinship with these girls because they have an understanding of your own depression; i think you need to find a healthier relationship which is based on something other than these repetative patterns of carer role and patient role.
you can offer support to M, but that doesn't mean you need to be her boyfriend.
i think you need to discuss these issues with a counsellor, perhaps a psychodynamic psychologist who can deal with early familial influences on your life and relationships (you may have learnt that love comes through being a carer or needy patient from your family).

you obviously have a loving heart, i wish you all the best.

Answer 6

sounds like M is the girl for you....if you feel you are man enough to love her the way she needs. Tell K that the relationship isn't where you want it to be anymore....and that you miss the innocent girl she used to be. You can still be friends...but nothing more. (don't reveal M to her or K to M....that would be awful)

Answer 7

My Friend, you must have one Friend because of what the situation is. You have to love her the way she is and don't look at other girls at the moment.If you love the other girl you mean that you don't love her. my Friend. Don't do that. All women they have one thing in common.

Answer 8

which one makes you the happiest.. which one can you see being with in the long term..


deep down i'm sure you know which girl is the right one for you

Answer 9

Choose the manic depressive .It would be better than suicidal one .

Answer 10

1. the one who cares for u.