ive been married with my hubby for two years today but together for three. we have always been on our own and have only had eachother for support, we have a toddler and a baby.
thing is his family is trying to cause trouble between us. weve just moved back to his home town and he has reletives there. thing is they have took one look at me and disliked me. they constant lell lies about me to other people and reletives and i cant seem to make them like me- even for my hubbys sake.
my hubby knows that they dislike me and hes very angry with them and doesnt want anything to do with them, and thats his choice!
but i always keep bumping into these reletives and they slag me off to people they may know in shops etc.
what am i to do as i feel i cant confront them and my hubby recons we should just leave them to their lies, but i know the lies have got so bad im practlicly a slag and a bully to other people and no one wants to know me at the baby groups. we arnt going to move
2007-02-25 23:27:16 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
1. speak with ur hubby, and try to make him understand ur feelings, and then take wise decision along with ur hubby.
2007-02-25 23:34:03 · answer #1 · answered by prabhakar_ace 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awww I'm really sorry to hear that hun, it can't be easy. You really do just have to ignore what is being said. I know that's easy for me to say but you know the truth and so does your husband. At least he's on your side it could have been worse and he believed them too. You could try, you and your husband, sitting down with whoever is involved and find the root cause for their dislike. There has to be some reason they don't like you and they need to explain themselves. If not then just move on with your lives. Do you drive that you could go to a toddler group elsewhere? There must be somewhere you can take them, even if its just into town. Hold your head up high and ignore any looks or comments because the aren't worth worrying about. Don't lower yourself to their level. I really hope you get it sorted but remember you have the love of your husband and your children xx
2007-02-25 23:49:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are completely innocent do not put up with this. The terms used to be called Deformation of Character but think suing for this is now a thing of the past. However, it comes to the same thing. I would urge you to speak to a lawyer and get a letter of warning written to the person who is the main cause of the trouble. You will be amazed how little this will cost you. If you really can't afford anything speak with your local Citizens Advice Bureau as most of these have a lawyer who consults for them every couple of weeks or so or should be able to advise you of a bigger CAB nearby who does this. If you have just returned you are probably going to live there for the foreseeable future so they can't get away with this. The old saying is 'Mud Sticks' so don't you let it get the chance, name and shame them!
2007-02-26 09:32:11 · answer #3 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Honey,
you married your husband not his lousy family, and if you don't want to move, then you just stay right where you are, you have done nothing wrong and your husband knows it and appears to be on your side. So what you gonna do? easy do this, remember you don't have to talk to his family, so talk to your own, and when you meet any of his family on the street, just walk on by, and if they say anything that you and someone near to you hears them say, ask the person close to you did they hear what the relative said, and if they did, ask them will they write it down and sign it, or at least give you their name and address, then with all that in hand, go see a lawyer, and you can institute proceedings against them, it won't cost you a penny. and ask your lawyer to post a letter to whoever besmerched your good name, advising the bad mouthed one that you now have witnesses to their dirty remarks, and if it doesn't stop, you will haul their ar*e* up before the court and sue for defamation of character.It all sounds a bit rough for you just now, but hang on in there sweetie, and with your husband told of your intentions to seek help from the law, he will surely still stick with you through all this, and see it back onto an even keel again, it wouldn't do any harm to mention at your, baby groups of your intent on sorting this all out once and for all, they will listen I promise they will, in case they might be able to grasp onto a bit more scandal, and don't forget, they too can be called into court to give their side of the story, or not, if what they are hanging onto isn't true, and if you are intent on sorting it out, you just might find a few of them on your side again. So don't worry, as long as you have the love of your husband and your baby too, just stick it out, and win the fight for your cause. right always comes out right in the end.
Good luck Honey, and here's a kiss for you and your baby. xXx
Tony M
2007-02-26 00:06:55 · answer #4 · answered by tony m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They sound horrible, I wonder why they haven't given you a chance? My guess is that they would be like it with anyone he was with. My in-laws still haven't accepted me after nearly 30 years!
You are at a disadvantage because they know people, and you don't, but you will in time, and they can't know everyone. Keep going to the baby groups, invite other Mums & kids back for coffee; when people get to know you they will wonder what the fuss was about.
You mustn't be tempted to sink to their level and slag off his relatives to other people! It doesn't matter what they say; people will make up their own minds about you and like you for yourself. What a shame the relatives are so small-minded. It's their loss - don't they want to know your children?
2007-02-25 23:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem and the best thing to do is to be pleasant to them when you see them, dont get into a slanging match with them and if anyone asks you about this then just smile and say nothing. People will see that you are a decent person and over time they will get to know the real you and not the lies your in laws have spread. encourage you husband to spend time with his family but make sure you are present.
2007-02-25 23:35:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your hubby has the right idea. He knows what his family is like and if the 2 of you are happy, then don't let anyone interfere with your life. When people get to know you for who you are things will settle down. Be happy with your own little family and let others say what they want. When they see they can't get to you, they'll get bored and move on to talking about someone else.
2007-02-26 02:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been where you are at its not nice, but stick to your guns don't let them run you out of town, The way that i dealt with it with no help from my partner i might add he was to gutless to stand up for me . I ignored everything that they said, if people wanted to believe the lies will that was there problem not mine, i walked around with my head held high as i knew that all that they said was all lies i had nothing to be ashamed of. this is where you find out who your true friends are because they know you and know that the lies are not true. so just ignore the slander and lies and see what there reaction is.
2007-02-25 23:44:15 · answer #8 · answered by helpless mum 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This must be really difficult for you especially if you keep bumping into them when you're in town.I would be tempted to ignore them and pretend you haven't seen them so don't get into conflict with them.But on the other hand, have you tried the "double love" approach?? "Oh, how lovely to see you, we must meet up again like this another time!!" etc etc Try being over nice to them and see if this works out, if it doesn't then you can at least say you tired to get along with them ...........then give up and pretend you haven't seen them when you're out and about.Hope this helps!
2007-02-27 07:56:19 · answer #9 · answered by bevalou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These people sounds terrible. My advice would be to continue going about your business, smile and be pleasant. Don't slag off your in laws to anyone, just say that you don't get one - lash of personalities. Remember, what comes around goes around!
People will see the nice person who you are and how bad your in-laws are!
2007-02-25 23:41:34 · answer #10 · answered by benn26k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be kind to them and at some point they might feel weird that they are being mean to a kind and loving person. Secondly if its possible for you and your hubby and your babies to move to your own house...then there would be less conflict. All the best.
2007-02-25 23:40:45 · answer #11 · answered by sue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋