im on a losing battle with my boyfriend i recently had sex with a girl and my boyfriend has found out?

Question

we were coming back for a night out me and my girls, we were a bit tipsy i stayed at my friends house. drunk we were things lead to things and we had great sex it reallyturned me on. I left in the morning she sent me a text saying thanks for last nignt. My bloke read it and i couldnt lie
im not sure who i want to be with

Answer 1

That is a scene right out of a movie................Do you like her or did you just enjoy the sex???

Answer 2

do you love your boyf? if so theres your answer, although if he can forgive you for cheating?
do you actually like/love this girl or was it just because you had one off drunken fantasy sex that you cant get her out of your mind? or did you sleep with her hoping it would all come out and you could end things with your boyf?
i think you need time away from both with absolutely no contact to try and sort your head and heart out, once you know where your heart lies it should be easy for you(well ish). to be honest it might just be you need time on your own anyway, as in be single and have fun, maybe the drunken thing was just a wake up call that things arent right between you and your guy, but try and sort things out, it will happen you just need faith! i hope that you can do this without hurting too many people, yourself included!
be strong and always go with what is right for you in the long run!
good luck hun!

Answer 3

I guess it all depends what you want out of life doesnt it. Will you lurch from lusting after one to lusting after another ? Or do you feel that your feelings for this girl outweigh your feelings for your bloke ? I say "your" bloke in the loosest of terms, as at the end of the day, cheating is cheating, whether it be with a man or a woman. His trust of you will be sorely tested, whatever you may think you want to do your current relationship with him may be destroyed already.

A relationship that will last the test of time will be more than lust and will be a partnership of minds.

Maybe you need to distance yourself from both and make your mind up what you want in life before you harm anyone else.

Answer 4

If you have an acknowledged monogamous relationship, then you you did cheat on your boyfriend.

If what you want is both, you should research polyamory, join some forums (there are some on tribe.net, polyamory.org, etc) to get more info & support. find out what you really want, then find out if it can be OK with the others in your life..

if what you want is a basically-monogamous primary relationship with just an occasional 3-some thrown in, the boyf will probably go along even if hes hopelessly monogamous (even tho thats technically a poly relationship). If you want separate relationships (even if they occasionally overlap), thats clearly polyamory.

Answer 5

I'm not married and i think i'd be upset if my wife did that......but what guy would honestly be upset by that.

You sorta left out some poitns though that could help undersatnd the situation. Are you an open bisexual and he's aware of this?

If yo'ure not, then you can try to pull that you were curious and although you love him, didn't think you could go on without knowing.

Answer 6

Boy or girl, it is still cheating.

You need to get him to forgive you all the same.

If you really think you want more from your friend then you need to decide if you want to try have both or move on.

If you are keen for both, see if he is into that as it's probably just the new "sex" that interests you which you may also become bored of.

Introducing her into your relationship may be something short-term. Don't throw your real relationship with him away if you really care for him.

Answer 7

what was his reaction?

you could have said " i saved her from getting a beating from another woman"

anything would have been better that telling him the truth...although a don't agree with lying because it always comes back to bite you in the ***

facts...you cheated!, i think you already know the answer to your question, if you loved your boyfriend you would'nt have done it in the first place

if you work things out and he forgives you then goodluck.....but things won't be the same from now, trust will never be the same, he will always have on up on you, he might just go out and cheat to get even

Answer 8

cheating is cheating
just because you were drunk it is no excuse
i think you really need to sit down and talk to your boyfriend and find out if he can forgive you,
how do you know if you want to be with the girl for good all you did was have one night of passion, until you know what you want you shouldn't leave your guy hanging, tell him the truth about how you feel
xxx

Answer 9

i think you should try sleeping with them both at the same time. if your bloke is a real man he would be really turned on and this could aid things in you to making up and you would really get something good out of it too. this might spice up your relationship

Answer 10

Cheating's cheating. doesnt matter who with. If he can forgive you, then great, if not, move on. At least decide if you want to stay with him, or if you swing t'other way (or both). If both, and your boyf's ok with it, then it could be the start of a great and more honest relationship

Answer 11

Sounds to me like you need to sort your head out about what you want so I'd choose neither.