Toilet training!!?

Question

I am going nuts!
My son is over 3 and a half and has been fine going for a wee without accidents for at least a year now, in fact he skipped the potty altogether and went straight to using the loo, however, try as we might, no matter what we do, we just can't get him to poo anywhere but in his pants. I don't understand because he gets upset when he has an accident and has to be cleaned up but nothing seems to discourage him from doing it, he'll sometimes even blatantly denied he's had accident even though the room stinks!! We have tried EVERYTHING anyone (including our health visitor) has suggested, and nothing seems to work. Even when we set him on the loo he'll say he doesn't want to then 5 minutes later he'll have done it in his pants. I'm at my wits end! Please if anyone has any CONSTRUCTIVE advice I would be very grateful. He starts school next January and I have visions of having to send him in nappies as there's no sign of improvements!

Thanks so far for your advice, though some of these things I have already tried...more than once (but a couple I haven't so will try!)
Thing is I do so wish he would pay attention to other boys at playgroup who are toilet trained but, yeah in some respects I do think he gets so engrossed in playing, that sitting and waiting to poo is just an inconvenience!
It's sooo frustrating!!

Answer 1

We had the same problem with our 3 year old son, he would wee on the toilet and would tell us when he needed a wee but would not go on the loo for a poo.he would do it in his pants, we did everything from sticker charts and a sweet if he did it on the toilet, we tried everything you could think of, then my mum told me about her friend who's son did the same and they would take a toy off him if he had poo in his pants, they would only give it him back if he went on the toilet for a poo as a reward but if he still had a poo in his pants they would take another one off him but would only reward him with 1 toy back when he went on the toilet.I thought this was a bit mean but one day after cleaning my son up again i thought i would try it, and i promise you within 4 days off taking his toys from him he was telling me when he wanted a poo and was doing it on the toilet, i started that 4 months ago and apart from the 4 days in which i took his toys away he hasn't had one accident at all in his underpants, in fact just over a week ago he now wears underpants for bed and has been dry everynight.I know it sounds mean but it worked for me so could work for you. What ever you decided to do i wish good luck.

Answer 2

while he's at home, let him run around without pants or nappy. Keep the potty handy and be very diligent. As soon as you see him touching his bottom or dancing around make him sit on the pot. The fact that the dear little fellow skipped pot and went straight to the toilet...could be the problem. Its easy for him to pee into the toilet, but quite a perfomance for him to actually sit on the seat and do his poo; I strongly recommend bringing out the potty again. Bribe him to sit on it if you have to and certainly reward him for doing anything in it.
I have just spend the day cleaning wee and poo with a 2 year old who is totally adverse to using the pot. Everytime he started doing anything, i put him on the pot even if it was too late. Then we made a play of emptying the pot into the toilet and rinsing it out and saying goodbye to the poopoo. By the end of the day, he was sitting on the pot whenver I asked him to. Good luck...and don't panic....one day he will just stop pooing his pants...but in the meantime give my method a go.

Answer 3

I had the same problem with my lad. If you can sort of work out when he is likely to go (i know that sounds impossible but it's not once you get them sussed) Take him to the toilet and bring a game or some toys to amuse him while he is sat on the loo. This can take ages. If he does manage to go then make a big song and dance about it.
When he goes in his pants try not to be mad but take him to the bathroom to get changed and cleaned up and sit him on the loo. Don't worry about School and nappies they will be fine with it if he still need them.
My lad went from not going to the toilet at all to only going to the toilet and not in his pants in a week. He is now three and a half and he is fine with the toilet.

Answer 4

My son had similar prob- he would play with his garage when ready for a poo(wouldn't play with it any other time), we tried pants on pants off. When I went in to have my little girl, my husband and parents dealt with it and seemed to have no probs turning it around. He is nearly ten now and is fine although he doesn't seem to get much warning when he needs a poo and has to get to the loo quickly! Taking all this into consideration, I think I maybe put too much emphasis on this and he maybe turned it into an attention seeking problem as I was pregnant! I'm sorry I can't give you a solution but maybe put your mind at ease that he's normal.
good luck

Answer 5

BOYS - I ask you!

I bought my son pants with Thomas the Tank Engine on - his favourite.

When he pooed in a pair I made a big thing of putting them in the dustbin (in a nappy sack!).

He was devastated.

But after the first few pairs he got the message.

A small price to pay.

Answer 6

We had the same problem with my son who will be 4 in May. We tried everything to get this child to poo in the toilet but he would do it in his pants. You need to catch him trying to poop in his pants. (My child did not poop at the same everyday). My husband caught him hiding in his room trying to poop and rushed him on the toilet. My son did poop in the toilet; you could see in his face that he got it...the light bulb lit up!!! And, after that we gave him his favorite treat(chocolate chip cookies) everytime he uses the toilet.

Give yourself a break. Boys are harder to train and the average for toilet training for boys is 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 yrs of age!!!

Answer 7

I ve herd of this problem with boys time and time again do you think its because they don't have time to sit down and use the toilet when they could be playing etc
My nephew was like this but he was clean when he stared school
when he sees what the other bigger children do he will soon follow suite

Answer 8

maybe he doesnt like the idea of you all watching him doing his business and once you back off he feels he can relieve himself and this is why its in his pants!..maybe you could try asking if he would like you to wait outside the door or look away while he has a poo? this might make him feel a bit better.some children are sensitive about things like this and feel embarrassed! give it a try (if you havnt already)

Answer 9

a half hour or so after dinner, take him to the bathroom and just wait for him to go dont let him leave until he's done his "business", perhaps he's affraid to use the toilet. Maybe he misses diapers.

Ask him if he is affraid or if he does miss his diapers. Be VERY undestanding, try your best to not yell at him but to calmy tell him that he needs to use the toilet, or tell him that the "big" boys use the toilet.

Answer 10

have you tried a sticker chart? tell him that every time he goes to the toilet and does something he will get a gold star, and when he has enough starts (10, 20, whatever) he will get a treat, and the first time he does a poo make a huge fuss...