I have been living in a 2 bed apt for about 6 months with another girl who I really do not get on well with. Unfortunately I can't really move out as we have been put in there by our company. This weekend without asking me she let her friend stay in my bed. She did wash the linen and remake the bed. But I am so annoyed that she didn't ask me even though she could perfectly well sms or call me. Also she will have seen some very confidental documents under my matress when remaking the bed, what do I do? How do I bring it up, do I go to HR and state what has happened and request a move? Thanks
2007-02-25 21:08:27 · 21 answers · asked by peaches8216 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The confidential documents which I foolishly put under my matress were my pay advice slips and bank statements. (silly girl I know)
We don't/probably can't have locks on our doors as well I have three doors that enter my room (strange I know) and the apartment is very old fashion/expensive. Also I am worried how petty locks on my door may be perceived. All advise so far has been amazing and I am super grateful!
2007-02-27 04:07:53 · update #1
try not to worry, this happened to me once, i came home (unexpectedly) and there was a hairy snoring drunken, oaf in my bed. i was rather shocked! i woke him up and it turns out he was a friend of my flatmates, i was horrified but i have to say in the end i ended up laughing about it...
however, now i have my own flat i know how very important provacy is, i would absolutley hate it if someone went there without my knowledge as you assume when you leave you can leave your personal stuff lying around etc.
i think you should say to her you didnt appreciate it, you would have preferred her to call you.
but dont make a massive deal , because you have to stay there for the timebeing, perhaps if it had been a friend of yours in her room she wouldnt have minded ? some people just dont think if they themselves are ok with it.
2007-02-26 00:17:42 · answer #1 · answered by ravey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk about extracting the urine....
I would tell your flatmate that it was totally unacceptable for her to allow someone in your room, and that she had no right to enter it either, a sms or call with a little notice would have allowed you to make a choice yourself and removed any private paperwork beforehand.
You are totally right to feel violated, our homes are where we should feel relaxed and at ease. If it wasn't working out anyway request a move immediately, but you must tell this flatmate how you feel, because although she was totally in the wrong, she may not feel she has anything to apologise for and do it again to you or the next person.
If you cannot get a move then request permission for a lock on your door.
Sharing with someone you dont know will be difficult at times, but this was overstepping the mark, by your reaction it is easy to see you would never have done it to her.
2007-02-26 21:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly you hsould probably request a move
Secondly she had a nerve doing that
she should have asked you
I share with 5 people in a very big house and they would'nt dare do that
but as we all come and go at different times we tend to lock our bedroom doors as some people have a problem with locking the hall door!!
I'd say something to her as in, "I'm not sure I want people to stay in my room while I'm away, I think you overstepped the mark by allowing you friend to stay without asking me"
And by the way, when making a bed, people rarely touch the matress, I would say your documents were'nt even noticed.
Good luck, I hope you get a new room mate though, it must be awful working and liveing with someone you dont get along with.
2007-02-25 21:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by . 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put a lock on the door. Let the other apartment dweller know flat out that this is not acceptable or to be repeated again.
Contact your HR and request a move as there are issues of trust involved.
2007-02-26 10:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put a lock on your bedroom door.
And stop putting confidential documents under your mattress that's not the right place for them leave them at work or in a locked case.
At least she changed your bedding and yes she should have asked you first don't think I'd like anyone sleeping in my bed,
See what the HR person says you don't say if you pay the company rent or not ,Why don't you look for a place of your own then you decide who stays.
2007-02-25 22:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by Mea 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Go to your flatmate first and say to her that you are unhappy that she invaded your personal space without letting you know first and if you dont get any apology or guarantee that it wont happen again then take it up with your line manager and HR.
Is there a clause in the contract that you shouldnt have overnight visitors if so then bring this up too.
2007-02-26 05:49:28 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously extremely disrespectful of her. I used to share a 3 bedroom apt with other girls by my company, but we all knew that we should not enter anybody's bedroom without invitation or consent, let alone letting a friend sleep in the other's bed. Yes, do complain to your company (welfare department or the department in-charge). Either she or you moves. In the mean time, lock your bedroom door. It's annoying i know.
2007-02-25 21:19:40 · answer #7 · answered by Say what? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Women can be so catty.....
Yes, call HR and tell them about the actions of your roommate. Next time put the "very confidental documents" in a locked box or briefcase.
2007-02-25 21:15:22 · answer #8 · answered by therazorsx 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Don't take this kind of Neanderthal behavoir. Tell your flatmate that your bed is not public property. Could you put a lock on your bedroom door or how about a message between the sheets like "No Trespassing"
2007-02-26 03:33:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go to HR, she tresspassed! In the mean time, get a lock put on your door with a key - the company should pay for it.
2007-02-25 23:28:00 · answer #10 · answered by Easy Rider 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋