Why do people think it's their own fault when their partners cheat on them?

Question

I mean, how is it their fault AT ALL?

Answer 1

When anything bad happens to a person, (ie death of a loved one, car wreck, something breaks, injury), they go through stages of mind frame, and one of those stages are guilt.

One begins to think 'Oh if only I had slept with him more', or 'Maybe I should have learned to cook..' or 'What if it was that night he stayed over and I didn't wear makeup' or 'Am I too old, fat, young stupid'

'if only'

When someone cares about someone else (and also if someone has gotten the blame more than once by other people in their past for bad things) they tend to blame themselves and be in denial that it could POSSIBLY be the other person's fault.

Answer 2

it takes 2 to tango - your partner won't feel the need to get their "fix" of what ever it is elsewhere if they are satisfied with what they've got. So it's partly true that e.g. it is the cuckold's fault for taking his partner for granted.

There are other situations where the cheating partner is the only one to blame but again the one being cheated might well think he/she's not good enough and take the blame. It's in my eyes an attempt to heal the relationship. So it's not a bad thing?

Answer 3

many times i'd have blurted out "No way" like the 1st bunch of answerers. whether, i've got been on right here for incredibly a mutually as. i've got examine some horror memories and a few tear jerkers. If I had to % one or the different i'd of direction % "NO" it is not your fault. yet, because of the fact it is not the case, I could say there are circumstances whilst it is the non-cheaters fault. Take working example the female who escaped from prostitution, by skill of marrying a wealthy guy she fell in love with, she replace into and not making use of a job, no kinfolk right here interior the states. intercourse got here to a screeching halt in the present day after the marriage. He knew she replace right into a prostitute in the previous he popped the question. in actuality, replace into her admired shopper. She grew to become to faith after a pair years. and then felt intense guilt whilst he virtually pushed her into yet another's palms. that's by no skill thoroughly cut back and dry, ones fault or the different.

Answer 4

It's human nature to question the "would have, should have and could have" of life. If they are cheated on they most likely feel that they could do more to fulfill the needs of the person who cheated. They reach a point where they wonder "what went wrong?" People should realise that sometimes being cheated on is a learning experience of how NOT to act.

Answer 5

1) It is not their fault that their partners are cheaters people cheat to improve their self esteem and they are just attention seekers and think alot of them selves and are feeling very unhappy and depressed about themselves.

2 )Hmmm well sometimes it can be a mixture of both it is to do with them as well and what they feel their partners can or cant give them interms of money sex kids and it usually people with marital problems .

Additionally the victim blames themselves because it is sometimes to do with the fact they are feeling hurt and very low and depressed and because of what their partners have done to them and unfairly blames themselves when its not their fault at all.

For example when my husband started looking at another woman and comparing me to another woman interms of dress and looks that really made me feel hurt and jealous and I felt a failure and needed to change so I started eating less and exercising more buying more clothes shoes under wear styling my hair and wearing more make up and I started hating the other woman and dreamt of the day that I would like to take revenge on her.

So I felt jealous and hurt, revengeful and blamed my self that I couldnt do enough for him so it can be a mixture.

Answer 6

The problem is,when you love someone and they cheat on you,your first reaction to that is 'Was I not exciting/caring/loving/fun/attentive/caring/attractive/sexy enough?' I know they were the first things I thought-and I practically punished myself over it. Then one day came the realization that HE messed up. Yes,he said he loved me and wanted to be with me-but he was obviously the one with self esteem issues-and rather than better himself,he sunk another level. It still hurts though.

Answer 7

Not many people blame themselves..but there are people that do think it was their fault.
This is because they think they did something wrong to make the person look somewhere else.

They think they didnt give the other person much attetion ect...

The person who cheated may also explain " i did it because YOU didnt do this and that..bla bla bla" ..
which this makes the person think and say to themselves " he/she is right" and then they start blaming themselves.

Ofcourse no one deserves to be cheaten on..and people should learn to stop being tempted.or dont take it any furthen than just temptation.

Answer 8

mainly because of upbringing weve had to take responsibility for anything that happenned weather it was our fault on purpuse accident whatever and that biulds into our charecter well when a spouse cheats on you it comes back to ohno its my fault and then you wander what could you have done different but usually its not

Answer 9

they blame their self if their partner cheated on them because they are trying to find answers or reason why it all happened in the first place. they think that they have something to do with that.

Answer 10

Because they are still in love with their partners.It is easier to blame it on themselves.Yes it is their fault since they think that their partners are perfect!!