she is the eldest and had far much more attention before the 2 year old and 8 month old turned up. i dont have the time anymore to give her that the same level of attention. The problem is im busier and she is constantly moaning even when we try and do fun things. i feel as if ive tried every thing from shouting to ignoring it competly. it does however drive me crazy and brings everyones mood down. if anyones knows how i can help my daughter change this behaviour id be very grateful. cheers Jan
2007-02-25 20:42:55 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Stop and listen to her properly. Discuss the problem, pay her the respect and treat her like a person.
And thenif she continues, just say to her: we've done this, we're not doing it again. I don't like being nagged at. If you want something, ask nicely.
She'll get the message. She's feeling very rejected, give her some love.
2007-02-25 20:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My son just turned 6 and I was at the point where I dreaded waking up in the morning because I was so tired of the whining and crying and fits that he was constantly throwing. What worked for me was getting down to his level, by that I mean crouching down so I am at his eye level. I would speak in a low mono-tone voice and explain to him that I will not be able to help him until he can talk like a big boy. It took a few days to get him to stop and every now and then I need to remind him he is starting with the whining and he does stop. I have found that often times, they are just frustrated and want to feel like they are being listened to, which is why its important to kneel down to his height. I also set aside some mommy and me time away from the other kids. Just one night a week seems to work. I am a single parent which is part of the problem, but I did manage to get his father spend a little quality time with just him as well. Hope this helps!
2007-02-27 06:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by tcg7213 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing is to set aside and hour or two every week where it's just the two of you doing something together. It can be while the other two are napping or on a weekend so your husband can take care of the little ones. It's very important to feel she's special and has some time with mommy all to herself! You can go to the playground, bike riding, out to lunch, bowling, skating or just doing each other's hair. Take time out just for her. Whenever she whines, remind her that you don't respond to whining, so say it again in her normal voice. Sometimes whining becomes such a habit that they don't even realize that they're whining. Just calmly remind her everytime not to talk in a whiny voice. I've even mimicked them so they can hear what they sound like. Also, a friend of mine taped her son's whining with a cassette recorder (secretly) so he could hear what she sounded like to everyone around him. Be consistent and making her rephrase what she's saying and it'll get better. If she moans about doing fun things then tell her, "I'm sorry, but I don't allow moaners to play this game. When you feel like having fun and not moaning come back and we'll have fun". Good Luck!
2007-02-26 01:15:41 · answer #3 · answered by Kimmi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make her you chief helper, shes in charge of activities and helping the younger ones. she'll enjoy the responsibility and hopefully give you that break you so deserve. ask her for game ideas and then make a list of things the kids need to find. this should give you a break for an hour or so. when she really starts whining i would give her the option of sitting it out or quiting the moaning and having fun. shes only young and is just using this to grab your attention possibly through jealousy. dont worry Hun things will improve come summer time xxx
2007-02-25 20:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by louise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not get her to help with the other two? Just little tasks e.g could you pass the baby cream,babygrow make her feel important again in your life. Lots of hugs and kisses. Is there anyone you can trust to look after the other two while you take your daughter to the park? I understand it is difficult I have been in your situation, remember she is only 5 and in her short life has experienced a lot of change.
2007-02-25 20:59:17 · answer #5 · answered by DS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, my daughter used to do the same thing,whining about every little thing and she is an only child.i think it is just a stage,but what i did was refused to give her what she wanted and ignore her until she didn't whine anymore,but when that didn't work i started whinig back at her. eventually she got the message and stopped after she got emabarassed a few times in public and in front of other people
2007-02-26 02:02:30 · answer #6 · answered by pgiggles34 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe give her a little bit of resonsibility ( you know make her feel like mummys helper ) because she is the eldest....
Kids, especially girls love the thought of being the boss of the others and you should reassure her that she is special cos she's the eldest...
She will love it and hopefully you will get a break from the whinging!
Good luk hun, you certainly have your hands full with 3 little ones!
2007-02-25 20:52:59 · answer #7 · answered by EMA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your daughter maybe feeling left out with you having 2 younger children to look after try and explain to your daughter that you are very busy and that once you have finished what you are doing you will spend some special time together but make it clear to her that its for a limited time do you get your daughter to join in bathing the babies? and envolving her in what you are doing? x
2007-02-25 20:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by dawn b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mine is a whiner too....I have her re-state whatever it is in a non-whiney voice. we basically stop whatever we are doing. sometimes I have to show her the difference in tone of voice with an example, I exaggerate and she giggles (taking some of the tension out of the moment) and then she tries to re-state it....sometimes she gets it right on the money, sometimes she still whines a few times.....but keep on her, she'll eventually get tired of repeating herself (don't we?) and/or start to catch it mid whine....Good Luck
2007-02-26 02:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is doing this because she is jealous you really need to set a time of day were you can have one on one with just her she will quit wining then she may feel left out
2007-03-01 03:20:49 · answer #10 · answered by just wandering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋