I'm only ever attracted to men that are 20-30 yrs older than me. i've never ever been attracted to a guy my own age, not even once. i'm not a golddigger so its not abt the money or abt the older man being more mature, stable, whatever i couldnt care less...my friend has this theory about me wanting a "father figure" but my dad's always been there for me when i was little but me and my sister don't have any sort of relationship with my mom, she was physically abusive to us and left 3 times..i dont know if that matters anyway because my sis likes guys her own age so i dont know why i cant as well...i would prefer to have a bf my own age, someone i can have fun with but its weird knowing i'll never be attracted to him or turned on by him just because he's not 45 or something. being with an older man makes me feel special, i can't explain it, i just feel comfortable and safe, safe from what i dont know but i want him to look after me.
sorry this is a bit long!!!
2007-02-25 19:51:37 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your feelings are not unusual. There are some girls that are attracted primarily (or entirely) to older men. This is often a sign of an underlying problem.
I had a female friend in HS with a similar issue such as yours. She explained to me that she felt attracted to older men because she thought they were more mature, more experienced and thus more wise. Her actions didn't justify this. The men she chose were bums (literally) or in jail. They were always much older than her and, to put it lightly, the scum of the earth.
So how is it that she translated "experience" and "wisdom" into these thugs? Insecurity. When you don't feel adequate at something, almost invariably (and we all do this) you will look to an outside source for your problem. In fact, that's what you're doing right now. You put your problem on the internet for other people to solve for you. It's not that you couldn't do it yourself, but that you don't believe in yourself.
The issue is not what attracts you, its that somewhere you find yourself lacking and you look to these men subconsciously to fill that gap. Does any of this sound true?
My recommendation: See a therapist. If this is really bothering you, then get some help.
2007-02-25 20:07:52 · answer #1 · answered by The_Music_Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well speaking as a 29 male by all means hit me up.lol
But honestly what you are feeling is normal i mean even at my age i like the attraction of a older woman up to their 40s. The key thing to remember is that this is an attraction, so you have to find what experience you have felt satesfied when your with or see someone older that you are attracted to. It could be maturity, security, experience or anything at all. Now if your exploring this attraction towards relationship then you really need to see how things will be different as you get older, so you wont feel like you made a mistake if you choose the age preference in a relationship. Attraction is like a craving eventually youll get bored of this or think differently, so in the mean time just explore your desires and options and when your ready to settle down, then settle down for the reasons you feel right about.
2007-02-26 04:01:14 · answer #2 · answered by Jimsenite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a older guy and I find that more of younger women are attracted to me than women my age. It's OK to have older men as a preference, however you're maturity level has to be able to deal with fast pace of older men. Where a guy your age will ask you out to a movie, I would ask you out to another country.
I do believe that you should try to date guys your age, just to make sure you not missing out on anything and to perhaps find out why you don't like these guys.
2007-02-26 04:03:21 · answer #3 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think it is common but I do not believe it is abnormal. My girl friend was 24 when we met and just graduating from college. We have been having a great time for almost five years, this May. She has never raised her voice to me, nor has she ever called me bad name. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world and would do anything for her and never do anything to hurt her. Fortunately she does not want children nor marriage, she just wants love and attention. We have been on six hour trips and never turned on the radio except to check traffic reports because the conversation never stopped.
2007-02-26 04:08:30 · answer #4 · answered by hebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be that you want to have a father figure in the older men that you seek but maybe you are looking to continue the safety and comfort your father has provided for you all these years.
Basically you like the role you have in your relationship with your father and you probably feel most comfortable doing that in you romantic life too
2007-02-26 04:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by munchkin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is normal to be attracted to any age of men...but remember that the older you go,the more serious the relationship will get.elder men have experienced life and dont feel the urge to go clubbing or any of that stuff where as you,being younger still have a life to experience...dating older guys ,i personally think,is not the right thing to do because you will always have problems and stuff...but its your life so whatever you choose to do,everyone can only be happy for you
2007-02-26 04:07:44 · answer #6 · answered by c.j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is depend on your personality. If you act like a 40 years old woman, there would be no chance to attract 25 years old guys. Look around. What do girls in your age which you do not. How they behave and what is difference between you and them?
2007-02-26 03:59:58 · answer #7 · answered by mhrhashemi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who's to say what's 'normal' and what's not? Do whatever you feel most comfortable with - and not according to the laws of the world.
2007-02-26 03:58:45 · answer #8 · answered by Bite Me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess it's cool .if that's your thing....but what about when you want to hang out with your friends and their bf's? Whatever you do you will be picked on by others, hope you are strong enuf.
2007-02-26 04:00:31 · answer #9 · answered by cesare214 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats common I believe
Dont worry I bet u are not the only one
2007-02-26 03:57:35 · answer #10 · answered by Jill-mommy of a cute lil fellow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋