Why are so few people aware of adoption as an option instead of abortion or keeping the baby?

Question

I see lots of questions where people assume the only options are to abort or to be stuck with the child for 18 years.

Why don't people consider putting the baby up for adoption after birth?

How do you explain this lack of awareness, and what do you think can be done about it?

I can understand not wanting to go through labor. In this case a fetus is essentially a parasite.

But people who feel that way aren't asking "Should I keep the baby or abort?" I want to know why *those* people seem to be unaware of adoption as an alternative.

I haven't adopted any, but my gf's parents adopted her. They were on a waiting list for *four years* waiting for a baby to become available.

Answer 1

Because people do not "talk about it" enough. As with any option, people usually decide on "what they know" is easiest, quickest, without thinking outside of the box. I agree with you however, too many young girls are not educated enough on birth control, get themselves in trouble, and are scared to admit being pregnant to their parents and their peers. Abortion, unfortuately is a quick fix for them. Also, with abortion, it isn't as easy as they may think to "get over it"..........At some point in their lives, they will more than likely reflect on their decision, and regret it.

So, for all of you pregnant teens, young girls, women, who think abortion is your only option, it isn't! Contact an adoption agency and talk to someone who can help you with your options!

Answer 2

I understand exactly where you are coming from. The excuse of not wanting to go through labor is just that - an excuse. I have never considered abortion, especially after the baby has a heart beat, a viable option. Labor pain is short - yes that sounds trite but in the long run it only lasts a finite amount of time. It is controled now-a-days in a hospital, and even the possibility of getting help for the pain exists.

I have invasive endometriosis. It is not only throughout my pelvic cavity - i.e. the pelvic walls, ovaries, uterus etc. but it has also spread to other organs including my bladder and lower intestines. I cannot have children - I can conceive but not keep the baby. I have miscarried before and I have no understanding for women who would want that option intentionally. I wasn't ready for a child, my health was endangered, and I wasn't planning on having children. But I can tell you losing that baby was one the most emtionally painful times that I have ever gone through.

There are many women out there like me that are unable to have children of their own. A good friend of mine also suffered from endometriosis - and bore severe pain for a long time attempting to conceive so that her and her husband could have a child. Finally, she had to have a complete hysterectomy and they looked into adoption. It was expensive and finding a baby is a lot harder then it sounds. She went through several meetings with expectant mothers - only to be let down when they decided to abort the baby. It took years - but finally they were able to adopt a baby. Who is happy and healthy today.

It seems to me that adoption is almost frowned upon today. That the only viable options are as you said - raising the child or abortion. Adoption is never talked about - and if it is it is for some reason seen as a last resort. The reasons I have found have been:

1. Fear of labor pain
2. Fear of bonding with the baby and not being able to let go.
3. The adoption falling through.
4. Life interruption because of pregnancy - especially true with teenagers.
5. Complications during pregnancy.
6. Unaware of other options and support groups.

Abortion is seen as a quick and easy solution to a 'problem' that should never be seen as a problem. It is claimed as a woman's choice. Last time I checked - it took two to make a baby. Yet - it is seen as the first choice - which is what adoption should be.

The only way to over come this problem is to continue to offer compassionate and thorough information and support to pregnant mothers and their families. By not judging their choices - and helping them to see that their pregnancy could be such a blessing to another family. And by providing support and followup for whatever choice they make.

Answer 3

I am an adopted child, from around the roe v. wade era. I am also outspokenly pro-choice. My teenage birth mother was the child of an alcoholic , abusive father. He never knew she was pregnant, and she hid it for seven months. She was "sent away" through her final months of pregnancy. She took an incredible chance in having me, but I understand why others don't take that chance. She carried me for nine months, went through labor, and then had to give me up. A year later, she tried to get me back but the adoption was final. Wherever she is, I am sure she still has some pain in thinking about where I may be, and how I might be doing. The biological "father" never had to deal with any of the consequences. Single, young, pregnant women end up having a stigma attached, even today, about their "situation." Some even lose their jobs. Many don't have the healthcare neccessary to care for themselves, much less their unborn child. Only when our society can provide universal health care and an environment free of discrimination could women facing unplanned pregnancies chose adoption over abortion, without harsh societal consequences.

Answer 4

THIS IS A GREAT POINT / QUESTION? This is also a good solution for abortion. You are always gonna find some chicken heads that don't want to be inconvenienced for a couple of months and would rather abort after 3 months of pregnancy so they can get back to their partying lifestyle. But for those that could wait a few months longer, this is great. One of the few times I cried last year was when I heard of a baby a few days old, left to die in a hefty bag in a a dumpster near my house. It's senseless. All they had to do was go to the nearest hospital and turn in the baby - no questions asked!

And to increase awareness, use email, mention adoption each time someone mentions abortion. If you want to get some t-shirts printed, I will try and pool together with some of my friends to sponsor the effort! k.i.t.

Answer 5

i understand your point of view. How many have you adopted? There are a lot of ideas how to fix something. Walk a mile in their shoes. Their parents throw them out on the street, sometimes incest or rape caused the pregnancy,would you take in girls that are pregnant and homeless until they can deliver and put them up for adoption? People always think someone else should fix a problem. If you are really concerned get involved in a pregnancy alternative center.

Answer 6

I REALLY don't understand how people can say that they couldn't place their baby in an adoptive home but they could kill the baby and that would be okay. That doesn't make sense.

Also it doesn't make sense that some people think that some babies are "better off" aborted because they end up in foster homes or neglected... gimme a break.

Those are TERRIBLE excuses for killing (aborting) a baby.

I totally agree with people on here that it is selfishness... really thats all it is. It is all about them - not their baby. Yep, you would have to go thru nine months of labor! Yep, you would have to go thru a painful delivery! Yep, you will bond with the baby and then give the baby up! But how are those things "worse" than killing that baby?

You want to still accomplish things in life? You want to go to college? You don't have enough money? You don't want people to think bad of you? You are scared your parents will be mad?

Suck it up! How shallow does that look in comparison to a child! There is no sanctity of human life any more.

I also think people have selfish reasons for not wanting to get involved by adopting, doing foster care, or taking in pregnant teens. It is VERY hypocritical for people to preach against abortion but not offer of themselves by adopting or doing foster care. You don't want a big family? You don't want to have to take on a child's problems? You want to be able to do family things and its too hard with a big family? You only want a baby? You only want a child of the same race? All of those are selfish reasons too for not getting involved.

I'm sick of how "me - centered" everyone is and how its okay. I am pro-life...life for the unborn children and life for the mother.

Common people lets get involved and make a difference.

http://www.rockforlife.org

http://www.blackgenocide.org

http://indwes.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2244399761

http://www.cpcbloomington.org/

http://ourjourneytoadoption.blogspot.com/

Answer 7

people are aware of adoption..but kids are scared of how their parents would re-act!..i was adopted..and my biological mother had me at the age of 18...and i was a BIG secret and still am! no one knows about me! her parents dont know! and neither does her husband! im lucky she didnt abort me cause..i wouldnt be married and have my first lil bundle of joy on the way..
and it takes alot of guts to put a baby up for adoption after you have carried the baby for 9months and bonded with the baby...and i think people would have more guilt for "giving away" their baby to someone they dont know and wonder all the time..if that baby is in a good home! and if they did the right thing!stuff like that..

Answer 8

its because adoption is very hard, you carry a baby for 9 months feel it move and hear its heart beat at drs appointments,go through hrs of extream pain only to hand the baby to someone you hardly know, where as with abortion its all over very quickly and you dont have the guilt of knowing that someday a child will wonder why you gave them up and possibly come looking for you,sure you have the guilt of not allowing the baby to live and have a life if abortion is the choice but its easier than giving the baby up
as for people asking if they should abort or keep it, they feel that keeping it would be easier in the long run than giving it up so for most people adoption is not the answer

I have 2 boys my second was not planned(yes i was on birth control but the pill didnt work for me) there is no way I could of carried him for 9 months gone through the endless amount of leg cramps,back pain,drs prodding and probing,lack of sleep,morning sickness only to hand him to someone I dont know
I decided to keep my son but yes we(my partner and I) did think of abortion as we wernt ready for another baby but adoption didnt even cross our minds and I know it is something I could never do

Answer 9

Well from my experience, my family just adopted 2 young kids and we've seen lots of kids go through the foster care system and from my point of view sometimes it's better to abort children. When we got the two that we just adopted they are blood related brother and sister. before they came to us they had been seperated the little boy had been bounce to like 12 homes and he was only 2 they were both born to an alcoholic mother. the little girl's dad had run her over with his car on purpose and actually while they were with us he fought for custody and got them (luckily he couldn't handle them and we got them back) but they both have major anger problems and are doing poorly in school. I love them but I know kids who have had it worse. My cousins boyfriend went through the system and ended up being abused by the foster parents to the point where they'd make him eat soapy food, burn him with cigerettes and even sexual abuse him my cousin had to leave him because he was an alcoholic and they had a kid together and she was scared he might end up hurting his child how he was hurt. I know that there are good stories too but there just isn't enough of them to where I would recommend fostering out your children. (unless you know the person whose going to take them)

Answer 10

I would never abort...I would get the baby adopted out. But it must be hard to carry a baby for 9 moths knowing you are giving it away. Some women get abortions because they don't want the whole pregnancy deal, not just the baby