Date Rape???????????

Question

I posted this as a need to know question. I just read a YA where several people answered a man's questions incorrectly. He was concerned because his girlfriend was raped. Too many people said that the woman was intoxicated so it wasn't rape, that she didn't have the right to say yes and then no, and that maybe she was lieing.

Did you know?
That anyone who is intoxicated can't give legal consent. Even if someone clearly says yes and they are intoxicated, this is not legal consent. This is considered Date Rape. It is against the law.

Also. A woman ALWAYS has the right to change her mind. This is true anytime before or during intercourse. And even after if she was intoxicated or underage. Any woman can change her mind before and during intercourse. A woman can say yes and half way through change her mind and say no. Once a woman says no, if the man continues to have sex with her this IS considered rape.

The statistics of women who falsely report rape are Extremely low! Don't believe what you see on the media, it may make a good story but it doesn't happen that often in real life. You should always believe a woman and check things out.

And sorry for saying woman and man. Of course it could be any combination of the two.

Some people want sources:
First read post 2, it's a cop saying I am correct. 2nd D posted that I was incorrent but in fact the link he gave me proves my case
http://www.scu.edu/wellness/How-Men-Can-Help.cfm
"Be aware that having sex with someone who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent is rape. If you have sex with a woman who is drugged, intoxicated, passed out, incapable of saying "No", or unaware of what is happening around her, you may be guilty of rape."

Intoxication:
http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1E1-rape3.html
http://teenadvice.about.com/od/factsheetsforteens/a/10thingsdrape.htm

Changing Mind:
http://www.courttv.com/news/2003/0730/rapelaw_ap.html
http://www.holysmoke.org/sdhok/rape.htm

False Report:
http://www.xyonline.net/Hines_False_accusations.shtml
http://www.vanderbilt.edu/ProjectSafe/assault.html

For more info. go to local authorities or google, just be careful of the source

Answer 1

Though I don't think it would be considered "date rape", I was raped by someone I knew well (specifically someone I worked with), and I blamed myself for the longest time.
I got myself into a situation where the guy and I were left alone with each other at his apartment, after the other two people we'd been hanging out with left to "get something to eat"--I found out later that they never planned on coming back because "they thought we wanted to be alone". *Rolls eyes*
Anyway, I had been drinking a little bit before we went back to his house, and chose--against my better judgment--to kiss him. Well, kissing led to me taking off my shirt (again, against my better judgment), and by that time, he was more or less expecting sex from me.
I then realized that I had locked my keys in our friend's car, that I was miles and MILES away from mine or my parent's house, and that I pretty much had no other choice than to stay over there. After all, it was already 2:30am, and walking home was out of the question, considering we weren't in the best of areas.
I wanted to stop things altogether before something bad happened, but he more or less began "strong-arming" me to take all of my clothes off. I said no to having sex with him MORE THAN ONCE during that period of time, but I was afraid that he would do something drastic if I tried to get away (he had a history of domestic violence in his past relationships). So, he ended up having sex with me, and then told me, "Let's not tell anyone about this, ok?", after everything was over. I laid there, in shame, not knowing what to do, and eventually had another friend come over, in order to take me home later that morning.
I spent SO many months thereafter thinking that it was my fault because I could have prevented the situation from happening in the first place, "if only I'd have" [fill in the blank]...
Ladies (and the few gentlemen who've experienced this), let me tell you something: IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT IF YOU SAY NO TO THE OTHER PERSON, AT ANY POINT IN TIME!!! Please understand this completely, and take it to heart. And if this has happened to you, and you've been blaming yourself (or have been too scared to go to an authority with it), know that there are other people standing behind you in this. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.
I pray for everyone who has had to go through something similar to this. I hope that every single one of you will choose to empower yourself and take back control in that area that was taken away from you. May Jesus heal all of your hearts like He's healed mine. Blessings...

Answer 2

It frustrates me that anyone, male or female, gets away with what is rape because the person they took advantage of was drunk or too high (their fault or not) to know what the hell was going on. My cousin became one of those when her sisters boyfriend raped her one night after a party. He claimed it wasn't rape for the reasons you stated, she was drunk but she remembers saying no to him before passing out which is why she went to bed in the first place. Women are just as bad about raping men and getting away with it. No one deserves to get a slap on the wrist and told not to do it again IF anything is done about it ... So many people have incorrect facts about rape and what to do about it. You made some very good points, but there are also girls that are in this situation and think that because they were drunk it is their fault and there for not rape. The media needs to be stopped, they mess just about everything up and make everything bigger or turn the tables. I like this question that is more of a statement but anyway, you got correct information out there.

Answer 3

If a man can still obtain an erection while the women states "no,not now",they are sick in the head.If one does not agree to sharing there body with another,then one shall accept the terms given.This is stability between two people and nothing else should be of greater concern.With women becoming more empowered worldwide,situations like date rape should hopefully diminish...Tom Science 4

Answer 4

Funny how I actually proved this answer was totally wrong, yet I was the one that was givin a violation?

Why claim people are wrong about a subject and say that your right when don't know what your talking about?

Link 1: "But surely it speaks for itself. Surely the jury in the case can compare what they see on the tape to the woman's testimony and decide for themselves if she consented to having sex."

And of course just like a last time I'll quote a actual case where I prove your wrong

Link 2:"He stood trial in February 2005 for five days. And at first, the jury's deliberations moved swiftly. Jurors voted to acquit Wilson of raping the 17-year-old."

Do I really need to say more? As I said last time the laws very by state, and a woman does not always have the right to change her mind, some says have a bill that states that either partner has the right to change their mind WHILE having sex but not after which is in example 3

myth 13: If a woman consents to have sex at the start of making out with her boyfriend, then she is not assaulted if she changes her mind, but her partner keeps on going.

reality: Legally, a woman has the right to change her mind about having sex at any point of sexual contact. If her partner does not stop at the time she changes her mind and says 'no,' this is sexual assault. As well, just because a woman is in a relationship with someone or has sex with a person before, does not mean that person cannot assault her. Consent must be given every time two people engage in sexual contact.

Notice that it doesn't say you can change your mind 3 hours after sex is over, although this happens all time.

If you need more proof, check out the reponses to e-mail you sent me. I hope people actually have the sense to look matters up like this themselfs otherwise you probably just cost someone their freedom.

Oh and in case you failed to read my repsonse to what you send me...

You had most likey failed to read the part that said

"Alcohol or drugs are not an excuse. The fact that you were intoxicated is not legal defense to rape. You are responsible for your actions, whether you are drunk or sober."

Then here is what you said...

First read post 2, it's a cop saying I am correct. 2nd D posted that I was incorrent but in fact the link he gave me proves my case
http://www.scu.edu/wellness/how-men-can-...

"Be aware that having sex with someone who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent is rape. If you have sex with a woman who is drugged, intoxicated, passed out, incapable of saying "No", or unaware of what is happening around her, you may be guilty of rape."

Now you have just changed your mind on the entire matter if your using this as proof, I quote "mentally or physically incapable of giving consent is rape" while you stated "That anyone who is intoxicated can't give legal consent"

Can all people that are intoxicated not be held accountable for their actions? According to you all people that kill when they are intoxicated either though murder or DUI are totally innocent.

The fact of the matter that in many states you can stil give concent if you are intoxicated, as they find you can still have the mental ablity to give concent (which is decided by the court, as the example I gave eariler when a man was freed on charges on the exact type of case your talking about), and not everyone that gets drunk passes out.


Oh and FYI, if post #2 IS actually a cop (really isn't hard to lie on the internet, as your post here), just because she sides with you doesn't mean either of you are right.

Are cops robots?

No

Are cops humans?

Yes

Do humans know everything and are right all the time?

No


Post this in the laws & ethics section where people actually know and give a damn about what they are talking about, I'm pretty sure you would get a very different reponose from people.

Answer 5

God bless you.. thank u sooooo much for the information.. it enlightened me bout the real meaning of date rape and make me more aware of the issue.. i'm sure gonna share and pass around this knowledge to my fellow ladies so that they realize they can say no even during intercourse coz its true, sometimes halfway during intercourse, we girls wanna say no but too scared to say it out coz we oreadi consented it in the first place.. so i really appreciate u highlighting this fact to all of us men and women.. *hugz*

Answer 6

it was about time someone set the record straight. A lot of people out here have no idea what rape is. Thank you for being straighforward enough.

Answer 7

I could not agree with you more. People need to oopen their eyes and update their attitudes to rape. And thank you for feeling so strongly about that you made your point so well.

Answer 8

I commend you for the clear and straightforward manner of stating this. I had one particuarly bad year, in 1971, where my mother was raped, my girlfriend was raped, and my sister was raped. I have zero patience for any excuse for this violence .

Answer 9

Actually, i did know this and i want to thank you for telling others. You are doing a great service for all women out there.

Answer 10

Just wanted to know what or who ur sources are?? but this is some useful information thanx. (",)