Why do people decide to get pregnant rather than other ways of having children?

Question

This is a serious question, I was wondering why people would rather have their own biological child, with all the risks of what could go wrong with the child genetically, such as birth defects and whatnot, not to mention being born premature or other such sad things that happen all the time.

With adoption you would be able to avoid not only the uncertaincy of wondering what could go wrong, or the moral delimas of adding more people to an already overpopulated world. It would also be dramatically improving the life of a child that otherwise wouldn't have been able to know the love of a family.

Maybe it is because I myself am unable to have children, but I just can't figure out why people want their own biological children instead of other options, so why do they do it?

Answer 1

I think its because of the money it costs for adoption and the circus you go through to be able to adopt.

Many even go out of the country to adopt.

Many want the blood ties.

I personally was told I would never be able to get pregnant, so i had went through a couple years of heartbreak before i came to terms with it. Then I ran out of BC the night of my wedding and ended up pregnant that month.

Ash

Answer 2

I know that when me husband and i got married i just could not help but wonder what our child would look like and i believe there are alot of people who feel that way as well not only that but the whole experience of being a mother is a wonderful thing from being pregnant until birthday partys sick times and bad days even though you can experience all those thing with an adopted child minus the being pregnant. and to address the other issues you brought up about such as the birth defects and so on if my child was born with a birth defect it would not bother me i would love it just the same everyone has their own views on this question and i support adoption 100% it is just not what i chose for myself

Answer 3

People often choose pregnancy (if they choose at all -- it could be accidental) over adoption, because the latter is very expensive and the cost of adopting in addition to the cost of caring for a newborn is often too much for new parents. There are numerous potential problems that go along with adoption as well -- birth parents returning for their children, trying to tell a child that he/she is/was adopted, health issues, etc.

Adopted children might have health issues of their own that don't make themselves immediately apparent, i.e. some forms of mental retardation or a long-term illness, and it's made more complicated by the fact that their medical histories (and often their biological parents as well) are unknown. The risk of birth defects and premature births, on the other hand, are quite minimal, in most circumstances. Most people usually don't think genetic defects, miscarriages, or any other major problem will affect their child, particularly if there's no history of it in their family. In most cases, it's a risk that a couple is willing to take in order to have a child to continue their blood line and pass on their features, habits, etc. Many couples feel that giving the gift of life is the most beautiful, most intimate thing that they can share and that is why they choose to have biological children. Uncertainty is also balanced, most of the time, by anticipation, which slowly builds over the nine months that a woman carries a child in her womb.

The world might be overpopulated, but that's a more obvious problem in developing countries where many people don't have the resources available to raise their children, if they're even alive to do so. Developed countries, by comparison, have very low birth rates (usually one or two children per woman) and, in Canada, the majority of the population is over sixty (unless I'm much mistaken). International adoption is not a popular option because, on top of everything else, there are issues with paperwork, language, culture, etc. Firstly, most countries make international adoption very difficult -- I heard a story on the news about a woman who wanted to adopt her orphaned niece and, after a year, still hadn't been able to -- and that is a deterrant for most people seeking to adopt a child. Not only that, but the children themselves might not speak English (or whatever) and there is also the issue of culture. Most children adopted internationally come from an entirely different culture from that of their adoptive parents and that does foster some controversy about international adoption, because it is, in effect, tearing a child away from his/her home and assimilating him/her into a culture entirely different from his/her own. There is a very strong argument that the security is more important, but there's also the fact that it can be very difficult for an adopted child to adjust to new surroundings and customs.

Adoption is often a very difficult and laborious process and there are many aspects of it that might discourage people. Our society places strong emphasis on having biological children and many people are influenced. There are many more who make their decision based on religion, culture, or their own personal reasons.

Answer 4

In my psychology classes, we talked about the innate desire to pass on one's own genes. People (usually without realizing it) tend to believe that their genes are by far the best and therefore should be passed on to future generations. It also gives some a sense of immortality.

I personally want to have children because I want to experience everything I possibly can in life. I want to experience pregnancy and labor at least once.

Adoption is not fullproof against the unknown. Adoption agencies do not always know the entire family history of the child--diabetes and cancer could be prevalent in the family, and you may never find out until it affects the adopted child. Also, they don't always know if the mother did drugs, smoked, or drank heavily while pregnant. It is 100% legal in the US to drop a baby off at an emergency room and say you don't want it, no questions asked.

Another reason many don't want to adopt is because they know how hard and expensive it is. Many perfectly good potential parents are denied children because they themselves have heart conditions, severe diabetes, or other potentially but not definitely life threatening diseases.

However, I think wanting to adopt is a wonderful thing. I have an adopted cousin, am about to have adopted cousins-in-law, and am considering adopting a child later in life (even if I can have my own, which may be iffy).

Answer 5

It's called natural instinct. All species want to continue on their species, and so all animals have an instinct to mate and procreate and pass along their individual DNA.

Plus, for humans there's the drive (for most women) to have the amazing and weird experience of pregnancy and childbirth. Sure there's risks involved with it, but there's risk with everything in life. And adopting a child doesn't guarantee that there won't be some kind of problem with that child, especially since there are many things that could happen that aren't apparent right after birth. One could argue that there's more risk with an adopted child because you wouldn't know their biological family's medical history, whereas with your own child you already know what that child could inherit.

As to your overpopulation argument, there's many factors contributing to our exploding population, with the biggest one being better medical care.

I'm not trying to say there's anything wrong with adoption, I'm all for it. But for those of us who can have our own biological children, and will love them and take care of them, it's easier and usually preferable to adoption. I guess it's hard to explain what it's like to someone who doesn't have the drive, but it's wonderful getting pregnant and bringing a baby into the world. Besides, I'd like to see mine and my husband's genes continue on since they're pretty good.

Answer 6

Its simply like this when we have good eyes we do not wear glasses similary when we ourselves can have children then we do not try to adopt. Just see this equation if everybody thinks about adoption and no pregnancy how do children come first of all. Hence this is nature and nothing more or less about it. Regarding adoption it is a good and benevolent choice for the people who do not have on their own because not only they have the satisfaction of bringing up children they are also doing service to the orphaned child. All the best.

Answer 7

Biological children are genetically linked to their parents, and good or bad most parents to be want biological children if they can have them. Adoptees come with their on sets of problems, When you adopt a chld you don't always get a guarantee of health, you don't always know of the child's birth parent's medical history or their families medical history. You don't kow if the child you adopt is going to have psychological problems or not. With biological children a parent at least KNOWS where they came from.

Answer 8

I want to adopt, for some of the reasons you mentioned. The fact of the matter is, it is SO expensive to adopt a child. While, yes, it is expensive to have one as well, the cost is more spread out.

I think that people who have clean backgrounds and good homes should be able to adopt children at very little cost. The state of the world would become much better for sure.

Answer 9

because child birth and pregnancy is such an amazing and beautiful thing and being able to create a baby with your partner is such a gift
also the blood ties and knowing that it was you and your partners love for each other that bought such a gift into your life
the birth defects and other problems are not a big concern to people as they love their children no matter what

Answer 10

Seriously?

It doesn't look to me like there're newborns queued up to be adopted, for one. And I can think of other things to spend tens of thousands of dollars on. To add yet another bad metaphor to this thread, why buy milk at a store when you already own a cow?

Re. "In my psychology classes, we talked about the innate desire to pass on one's own genes. People (usually without realizing it) tend to believe that their genes are by far the best and therefore should be passed on to future generations."

Indeedy. We both have IQs over 150, we're both healthy, we both think we're reasonably good-looking...

I get to make all the decisions that're right for me about how to go about having a child. The ability to breast-feed with relative ease is one of them. So's silly stuff that'll make me feel better, like taking DHA supplements while pregnant.

The per cent of women who don't take pre-natal vitamins was in the paper here the other day; it was shockingly high. That blew me away -- of all the trivially easy things to do! It was in a story about said supplementation preventing certain types of childhood cancers, too. So...

This is all pretty crass, but, in short, there's no guarantee of another child coming from what your view of a good mother is.

And, er -- I understand your question, but only to a point. How are adopted children guaranteed health, non-prematurity, etc? It's sort of like you're asking "When there is a surplus of thoroughly healthy infants available for adoption, why not adopt them?" And there just isn't.