My beautiful, sweet, INNOCENT 16 year old daughter has a boyfriend that I find very disrespectful. Not only to me, but to her also. I noticed it the first time I met him. First of all, he calls me by my first name, but of course that isnt so bad, just annoying. The thing that really makes me angry about him is that they have only been going together for a very short period of time and he acts like he owns her. He even tells her how she should feel or what she should do even right after I tell her something else. Next is the touching. He goes way farther than what I feel is acceptable right in front of my face. I cant imagine what he would do if I ever let them be alone together. I have been thinking about talking to him about it and telling him that he needs to keep his hands off of her, and that I wont tolerate his bad language either. Should I talk to him, or should I talk to her about this, and should I tell her she cant see him anymore? Please give me advice.
2007-02-25 15:45:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she is 16 i know she has had sexy with him.becouse im his friend .adn she has stds
2007-02-28 00:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to sound sexist hopefully but is there a father in the picture? Since I'm the dad and was in a number of situations like that I can tell you that I took great pleasure dealing with little smartasses like this. That aside there's no reason a Mom can't do it. Sit him down when your daughter isn't around and lay down the law and lay it down hard. Show him that you are pissed off and don't feel bad about doing a little swearing of your own.
These are the rules and there's the door sonny boy. Take your pick!
If done right, he'll wet himself and then show you the courtesy and respect you deserve. He is testing you and the more you give in the worse it will get.
He may try to turn her against you so you also you need to talk to your daughter and tell her that you are concerned. Guys who want to control women are bad news. They are the ones that end up beating up their girlfriends and wives or having jealous rage fits. No girl needs that.
Good luck with this
2007-02-25 16:10:00 · answer #2 · answered by Tom G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion talk to your daughter about this. She may just say "mom! but i love hIm" or something like that. she is only 16 and that boy knows that. He will take advantage if he gets the chance. I get that idea from his attitude. Talk to her about what SHE is looking for in a husband not a boyfriend. Now she may be blinded by this teenage "love" but if she says that she doesn't know what she is looking for then I don't think she should be dating him or anyone else until she has an idea. If she wants a rude, insensitive guy then this guy may be the one she wants but i doubt that. yes i know i'm young (only 20) but trust me on what i am saying. dating is about finding a mate for life not just for some "fun". To get to my point don't tell her she can't see him anymore. Ask her what she wants in a husband and then tell her how you feel about this matter. Also i think that you should tell him to keep his hands off her. don't ask him, TELL him to keep his hands off her in that way. I have never been told to keep my hands off because i respect the girl i am with but i suggest finding out what scares him (maybe telling his parents what he is doing or something like that) and use that to your advantage. If he doesn't believe you and he tries something, Tell his parents. don't make empty promises. Do what you say you are going to do. About the language that may be harder to get ride of since he is around it everyday all the time but you could ask him to not use it in your house. Maybe he will respect that wish. I'm sorry this was so long but i hope it helps.
2007-02-25 16:11:54 · answer #3 · answered by ennarian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can talk to both of them till you are blue in the face and it is not going to change anything. You can forbid her to see him which will end in her sneaking behind you back and doing it anyway.
Just talk to her and tell her that you think she is worth so much more and that she deserves someone better. You may also need to take a look at your own life, are you with someone that disrespects you and she sees this? If so then she may feel that the relationship that she has with her boyfriend is normal.
Or another thing she may be with this guy that is acting like he owns her because she is lacking control in her life, is her dad not in the picture?
You need to step back and take a good look at the picture to really see what is going on to help you with this situation.
2007-02-25 16:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by luscious0071 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont tell your daughter she cant see him any more she might hate you or she might see him behind your back. Next you should talk to your daughter first and tell her that you dont like him and why next listen to what she has to say put some limits to what he can and cant do. As far as language goes tell him that if he wants to use that language to get out of you house and not come back until he can talk properly, or tell hem not to use it so much.The hands that is a definit nono tell your daughter that you dont like what he is doing and that he cant be touching her. Tell her that she should wach out cause the more she likes him the more shell be hurt when it all ends or make her stop liking him by making him look bad.
2007-02-25 15:54:18 · answer #5 · answered by lilmeztli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooo i know what youre going through...but to be honest with u i am 21 yrs old..when i was 16 i hoenstly would not have listen to my mother if she said something like that..the thing is when were kids..i guess even as adults..but moreso as kids...or young adults..whne you defy what your parents have said..its like self glory..something about breaking the rules that makes it all seem worth while..even tho in the end it might be stupid....but what you can do is drop hints..say things that he does..like perhaps..you can say one night after hes gone that..he touches you too much i dont think thats right. or his toung slips a bit too much...dont just go out and say it..because trust me they wont listen..and in the case that u tell them to break up they will go behind your back depending on the BF...and that will be more dangerious for your daughter....
i hope things work out :)
2007-02-25 15:54:34 · answer #6 · answered by lover_cricket 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
although i won't be able to immediately relate on your question (no longer having children myself), I did have a loved individual who replaced into interested by any such project the position her boyfriend managed each little thing. the first significant problem will be in the experience that your daughter is unwilling to admit that she is in an risky relationship. She is nineteen years previous, and at the same time as everybody on your position might want to opt for to step in and seem after your infant, she is an individual and usual has to confirm that there's a difficulty. refer to her and convey your concerns, yet try now to not verbally "attack" her. She of course has esteem topics to be with such an abusive individual, and any own attack on her will reason her to easily run back to her boyfriend. once she sees the region, she and also you could artwork at the same time to attempt to eliminate her from this probably risky project. i might want to point enlisting the help of alternative pals and relations or perhaps perhaps regulation enforcement in case you sense the boyfriend might want to grow to be bodily violent in the route of your daughter or you. Counseling is also as a fashion to assist your daughter with inspite of topics she is having and with somewhat of luck circumvent this project contained in the destiny.
2016-10-17 09:06:01 · answer #7 · answered by nelems 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go so far as to tell her she can't see him anymore, because that will just cause rebellion and she will do it anyways. I would suggest talking to him or his parents. Probably his parents and tell them about your concerns and that their child is being disrespectful to you. Then I would consult him about it, and if nothing changed, I would talk to my daughter. And then if things got really bad, I would force them to not see each other.
2007-02-25 15:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to my Baby Girl & tell her about Life & how U feel about Boyfreind & what U see in the Future & what U have been through ! All I can say it could be worse he could be Black !!! Que No ??
2007-02-25 15:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it first depends on if your daughter likes it. When he does these Unruly things does she get upset. You should first talk to your daughter and ask her who does she feel about the relationship. Then you should try to talk to him
2007-02-25 15:55:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋