Do you ever notice how some people just don't seem to have a chance?

Question

I used to know a girl that was always trying so hard to get her life on track. When I compared myself to her, I always thought that I was further ahead in life not because I tried harder or was any better of a person, but because I did not have to go through the things that she did. She ended up killing herself a couple of years ago and her death really got to me. Most of her problems started when she was young and had no control over her situation. A lot of the people we knew looked down on her. She was far from perfect, but she really tried her best to make things right for her children and herself. A lot of people in her situation would have made worse decisions for themselves than she did. She just had a lot more to overcome. It always seemed to me that she never had a chance.

I just heard some really bad news about a 4 year old I care about today and the girl I used to know came to mind. The 4 year old has had a really rough life in her 4 short years.

So my question is, why do some people experience so much? Why are people given lives to live that are so painfilled that it seems like they don't have a chance?

Answer 1

"Happiness and the ability to overcome obstacles is an attitude, NOT a result of what you have to deal with in life."

A popular view, but it's convenient, self-serving rubbish. After all, if your neighbor is completely responsible for his own circumstances, then we need never apologize for that which we shouldn't have done or for that which we clearly should have done and failed to do, for whoever came to harm from our failure to do right was responsible for that harm, clearing us of all blame. No harm, no foul. How very easy life might seem, were this true, but it is not.

The amount of c**p we have to deal with varies greatly from one person to the next, a lot of it comes from our fellow man, and there is such a thing as having so much of it thrown at one at to be more than anybody could overcome on his or her own, or more than almost anybody could.

That much having been said, such a truth can say a lot more about Man than it does about G-d. When one sees another who has been given an unreasonable burden to bear, there is nothing keeping one from coming to her aid and doing what one can to lighten her load. As simple a thing as lending a sympathetic ear or speaking up in that person's support when others speak against her can make a major difference.

So can the "every man for himself" attitude that oozed out of that previous respondant's post. I would say "G-d help us" if such an attitude as that should ever become universal among Mankind, but if it does, why should He? The Hell we would be living in would be one of our own making, and as a society, we're headed there in a mindless hurry, these days.

Answer 2

Life is not fair. That isn't a pleasant thought, but it's reality and there's nothing we can do to change that. Sometimes, we bring a lot of our misery upon ourselves without even realizing it until long after it happens, and then we have to work extra hard to correct the mistake. Other times, there are things that are simply beyond our control, such as abusive parents, clinical depression, natural catastrophe, birth defects, or poverty. It amazes me how some people overcome so much crap in life. Others, though, just don't have whatever it takes to do this. It is sad that your friend took her own life when maybe she could have been helped.

Sorry about the 4 year old girl, too. I have a cousin who used to be a foster parent, and she had one little girl for awhile, about 3 or 4 years old, who never talked or smiled. She'd been basically ignored all her life because her parents just didn't want her or care about her. I felt so sorry for her. I sometimes wonder what happened to her...she'd be in her mid-20s now, I think.

Answer 3

Good question. My best friend had a brother that was so beautiful-such a beautiful person. Both he and my friend were molested and raped by their step-father for years. My friend escaped and became emancipated from her mom. The brother had to stay behind because he was too young, but he went to foster care for a short time.

When I met him he had been divorced, had 2 kids he hadnt seen in 6-7 years, the ex being certifiably crazy arranged it to keep him from seeing his kids until he paid child support. He was a complete alcoholic, couldn't keep a job. My friend did everything she could. Counsleing, AA, drug testing. He was a skater (in his mid-30's) and busted himself up all the time while drunk. Many ER visits, veiled suicide attempts. He succeeded in quitting drinking for one whole year. He was the best. But...

He was secretly "huffing". One sunny day, he got home from work and registering for school to get his nursing degree. He wanted to relax in the pool, so he shucked his clothes, jumped in and hit his head on the bottom of the pool. He passed out and drowned. Because he had huffed an enormous amount of canned air before diving in.

That was two years ago this July. And I can't help but feel that his death was too long in coming to him. That his life really was just too damn painful to live and that death was a mercy.

I pray that the baby girl that you know is blessed with peace and health all her years.

Answer 4

There is no fate or higher power determining what people's lives will be; the socioeconomic situation (not to mention genetic package) you are born into is pretty much up to chance. Sucks, but it's true that some people get s**t on by life. In the end the only thing you can do is work to make your life and the lives of others better. Life is what you make of it.

Answer 5

I too had a friend who killed herself. She was unmarried and pregnant. The pill and abortions were not available then and she could not overcome the stigma and abandonment of the man she truly loved.
The best we can do is to try to help those that are in similar positions with those problems.
The Bible says if we help the least in society it's like helping Him. I will never forget my friend. She was only 16. She was a good person.
I pray that your 4-year old friend will find the help she needs to get a better start in life. Maybe she won't have to suffer the way your friend did.

Answer 6

It's really disappointing how this happens to people. The sad truth is that people are born into their lives simply because of their birth.. If only the choices of some didn't make the negative impacts on others that they do.

*My belief is that there's nothing special behind it; there's no particular reason for people being dealt a bad hand. Just happens. It wouldn't if it was under control.

Answer 7

I know what you’re saying. I know somebody who suffered severe burns as a baby and has worn the scars all her life. On top of this she has known many horrendous experiences in her life.

We can’t change what a person has experienced but we can try harder to reach out in love and understanding. We can teach our children not to stare at or ridicule people who look different.

Answer 8

Some people simply get s**t upon. The really horrible thing is that normally it's the bad choices of others that have such a terrible impact.

Answer 9

Our Creator provides the answer. His Word calls these problem-filled times “the last days,” a period when “critical times hard to deal with” would be here. (2 Timothy 3:1) The last days of what? Well, the Bible speaks of “the end of the world.”—Matthew 24:3, King James Version.
Today’s growing problems are clear evidence that the end of this system of things is near, including the end of wickedness and those responsible for it. (Matthew 24:3-14; 2 Timothy 3:1-5; Revelation 12:7-12) Soon God will intervene and see to it that all of today’s problems are completely solved.—Jeremiah 25:31-33; Revelation 19:11-21.

Instead of helping to solve today’s problems, this world’s religious systems add to them. During wars, Catholics kill Catholics, Protestants kill Protestants—by the millions. Not long ago in Rwanda, where most are Catholic, people killed one another by the hundreds of thousands!
Would Jesus go to war with a rifle or a machete and kill his disciples because their nationality was different from his? Surely not! “The one who loves God,” the Bible says, “should be loving his brother also.” (1 John 4:20, 21) This world’s religions have failed to do that. “They publicly declare they know God, but they disown him by their works.”—Titus 1:16.
Further, by not really upholding Bible standards of morality, the world’s religions contribute to the shocking moral breakdown earth wide.
Jesus said that you could tell false religion from true religion ‘by its fruits’—by what its members do. He also said: “Every tree not producing fine fruit gets cut down and thrown into the fire.” (Matthew 7:15-20) God’s Word urges us to flee from religion that bears bad fruit and thus faces destruction.—Revelation 18:4.

Answer 10

Happiness and the ability to overcome obstacles is an attitude, NOT a result of what you have to deal with in life.

I always say, "Every has sh*t." My sh*t isn't any worse than anyone else's. It doesn't matter how much you have to deal with, but HOW you choose to deal with it.