I have been so nice to my in laws i paid off my brother in laws hot checks. I let both of my sister n laws live with us. I helped my mother n law go to the doctor among other things and they still constantly stab me in the back. They go to my husband and say stuff ( he doesnt believe them). I have a 4 year old daughter and I dont want them to be a negative influence on her and then again I dont wont her to resent me becasue I did not let her get to know them. She cries everytime we say we are going down to their house so she knows somethings wrong. Please give me so good advise. Thanks
2007-02-25 15:35:00 · 5 answers · asked by hotmama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would (personally I have done this) tell them firmly and directly to their face. And you should have your husband next to you when you say it so they don't turn around and say something different to your husband. Personally, I would think this is your husband's job in the first place since it is his family. My family tried this with my now ex-wife when we were married. It upset me that they were doing this so I confronted them. After I informed them that either they stop or yhey can forget about talking to us again, they suddenly accepted her into the family.
Good Luck in whatever you decide.
2007-02-25 15:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by curtf1964 3 · 40⤊ 1⤋
Your rude-in-laws are very jealous of you. Yes, you have done a lot for them. It's because you have the sources or money to help them and now they envy you. They see that your life is more stable and you have a kind heart.
The most important factor I want you to staple in your mind is that as long as they respect you and your family in your own home! You make sure this is the law!
This what I would do I where you. The next time they ask for help, give them help, but with a speech too, and try to do this when the entire family is listening. Such as,,
"I can help you. Although, I know what's you and your family are going to do! Every time I help any of you, you just talk mean behind my back. It's alright now, because I am use to it and I will always respect you and your family. At times it does hurt my feeling, but" etc..
If they want help it come with your inner emotional thoughts! You be sure to include everything you mention up above! At end of your speech let them you will keep them in your prayers.
God Bless.
2007-02-26 00:02:50 · answer #2 · answered by tony 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, talk to your daughter, carefully and seriously. If your inlaws are mean to you, perhaps your daughter feels they are mean to her too. If she's not happy being around them, find out why.
It might be that you've been *too* nice to these inlaws, and they feel they can walk all over you as a consequence. For your daughter's sake, you may need to start drawing some lines. It's important that she get to know them in a positive manner, not just that she knows them.
2007-02-25 23:42:54 · answer #3 · answered by Jarien 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
With the way your daughter cries about going to see these people, that should be telling you that these visits with them needs to stop. Screw the inlaws, your kid should come first.
2007-02-26 00:11:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
STOP---read this---you are enabling these people to do what they do---they do it because they can--you let them. Kindly stop being the brunt of all this---they are your in laws--not YOUR family--so don't do any more--just let your husband do it.
2007-02-25 23:49:07 · answer #5 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋