I had to leave him this month because he's a crazy drunk and we have a one year old daughter. I am in Iowa with family and he was in Washington where we were stationed. He is supposed to deploy in april and I think he has gone AWOL and is headed here to Iowa right now. I am very afraid, what do I do if he shows up and I know he's AWOL? I don't want to let him in my parents' house, and he sure as hell can't take my daughter anwhere. Can I call the police? His NCO? What the hell do I do?!
2007-02-25 15:34:01 · 19 answers · asked by .*AnNa*. 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Okay, anyone who wants to judge me can kiss my rear end! You have no idea what kind of hell I have been through with him, and moving back to where I came from was my ONLY option, thanks(placed at our first duty station Nov. '06, where else was I going to go with hardly any money?!)! He has never been a father, hasn't even been in the army a year, and doesn't want to be in. He would have gone awol whether I left him or not. All he's concerned about is having the freedom to do drugs and party like a loser. His attitude is an insult to every man and woman serving in the military. I tried to get him to get some help, he kept refusing, and I had to remove my daughter and I from a volatile situation. I didn't ask you to judge me, I said I was AFRAID and wanted some advice about what to do if he showed up here. And by the way, he talked about going awol when he was drunk before I ever left. He wanted to do it anyway, wife, kid and all. So take your judgements and shove 'em!!!
2007-02-25 16:10:09 · update #1
You just answered you own question. Call his CO. They will be there ahead of him.
2007-02-25 15:43:21 · answer #1 · answered by oldmanwitastick 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Ok, first, I want you to know I am NOT being judgmental about you OR your husband. What to do if he shows up? If you are scared at all call the police. What can you do BEFORE he shows up? Contact his Commanding Officer to find out if he is missing...tell them your situation and that you are scared. You can get the phone numbers fairly easy...Or better yet you can get the phone numbers you may need from the local recruiters office. The recruiters office can't do anything for you, but they may be able to get you the numbers and maybe some advise because they are in the military. If you are close to a military installation then you can talk to the MPs there to find out what you can do to be safe.
This is the thing that I hate about this arrogant war over in Iraq. There are men AND women who are coming back to the US with major issues, and the way that Bush keeps cutting the VA they wont have any place to go to get assistance for the help that they need...so society ends up having to get help for them...after they have given so much for their country.
2007-02-25 16:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by hera 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you know he is coming you should contact his NCO as soon as you can. They will if they care contact the right people to get where he needs to go.. they may contact the police station or they could contact the local recruitmet office. As far as your daughter you should not let her go with him. If you are married you both have rights, and if he has her, she is his and if you have her she is yours.. So I would tell you right now to call his NCO, if you can not reach them call the Staff Duty Desk.... hope that helped.. A good note to remember when going AWOL before deployment that is major punishment..
2007-02-25 15:41:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't know what your legal situation is. I would call the police and try to get a restraining order if he tries to accost you or your daughter. If he's AWOL, he can be arrested for that alone. Tell all of your friends to keep an eye out for him, and make sure your daughter is under supervision at all times.
2007-02-25 15:40:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Most service people, crazy drunk or not, would come after you if you took off with their child. You didn't make that baby by yourself and you don't have 100% ownership of her either. There are ways to work things out, like having a crazy drunk husband without leaving the state with someone elses child. I am an active duty Navy woman and if my husband left the state with our children even if I was drunk I would do the same thing your husband is doing. If you truly cared for your marriage or the man that you married you should have gone to his chain of command to ask for help for him instead of bailing on him and taking his child away to another state. What's the reason for his drinking? Service related or is he an alcoholic? You married him for better or for worse. If things were so bad and you actually tried to get him help or fix things, he could have gotten some help for himself. But instead you ran home with his child. His career is now probably over and his future looks dim as far as jobs after the military goes thanks to this situation. Were you expecting some help financially with this child of yours from him, I hope not since you are helping end his career. Military spouses like you make the service a lot harder than it should be when you involve children in your decision making process. You leaving him is no big deal, but taking his daughter across the country was not the right choice at all. He should have called the police on you when you kidnapped his child. Think this one through you are far from innocent as you are thinking you are. Try stepping up and communicating with him and find out what's really going on inside of him. If you are his wife this is something you need to do.
2007-02-25 15:49:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Your husband is exhibiting signs and indications of melancholy. he's indignant each and all of the time, his intercourse force is obviously down the bathroom for him, and his habit in direction of you has replaced. Drag him to a doctor to work out if testosterone levels have not dropped, just to ascertain. that could desire to open the door to a extra extreme communicate along with his well being practitioner and he will sense (a minimum of somewhat) much less such as you're attempting to rigidity him.
2016-10-02 00:08:00 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only would I call authorities, but I simply wouldn't answer the door if he should show up. I know this can't be easy for you, especially being a mother of such a little one. But try to get one ahead of him. You have been given great advice so far, just try not to open the door nor have your parents let him in. I just hope he isn't the type to be a danger to any of you. Keep safe and let us know how you are doing. I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-02-25 15:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by momofatsc 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He is going to feel like he's between a rock and a hard place. I will not be addressing the legal issues as you have enough advice here.
I'm concerned about his state of mind. I don't want him doing anything foolish to himself or to you. Try to contact a free counseling crisis service in your phone book on how to deal with him if he contacts you. Whatever, you do, don't scare him or make him feel trapped. He may need psychological counseling. He's probably feeling pressured to go bc he wants to care for his family but for some reason is freaking out. That is a very unstable situation. Please consult a psychologist who can give some crisis counseling for you at least.
2007-02-25 15:49:09 · answer #8 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Police
2007-02-25 15:38:18 · answer #9 · answered by J D 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you have "left" him, then it is not your problem. File for divorce, and completely separate yourself from him if he was really abusive. He is the one with the commitment to the Military, not you. The military may contact you if he has really gone AWOL, but it would just be to ask if you know where he could be etc.....
2007-02-25 18:47:06 · answer #10 · answered by John B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
as long as he isnt harrassing you, there is no need for you to do anything. you never know, he could have been given leave and then you look crazy for accusing him of being awol. if you are really concerned, call his unit and see what you can find out. but really, i wouldnt freak out.
2007-02-25 15:50:39 · answer #11 · answered by krystal 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋