What is an effective way to actually communicate with a 15yr. old about the importance of making good choices?

Question

I remember being 15, and no one could convince me I was wrong about the way I thought about things, and no one coould have convinced me that I needed to make different choices about not running from home and breaking the law and so forth....but.....Now I must convince someone I care about....but she is 15 and convinced she is the boss.

Answer 1

well, then you know she will just tell you what you what you want to hear and do it anyway.

she will have to learn the hard way, as we all do, about so many things. but keep in mind, her being stubborn will make her determined one day.

just keep saying your concerns, and keep your love UNconditional. its the "conditional love" homes that the kids end up really messed up.

i am not saying cover for her, clean up her mistakes, etc. i am saying be there for her when she falls down. pick her up without one single 'i told you so' (they know that anyway) and say, "now learn from it" and let go.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, most 15 year olds think they know everything. I thought that too. My brother had one of the best methods of communicating with his teens. He would listen intently to what they were saying and ask questions like: "If you run away from home, what will you do, where will you stay, what consequences will follow, etc..." He wouldn't immediately disagree because they would be defensive. He basically let them answer their way through the issue in order to get them to understand why they couldn't do the things they were thinking. It works, usually. That's how I handled my 15 yo when things started getting too argumentative between us. It takes a lot of patience, though. Of course, what works for one, may not work for the other. But try not to use terms that says they are wrong, get them to admit that on their own. Otherwise, they usually just rebel against what you are trying to tell them. Good luck!

Answer 3

Well if you try to explain it as you want to, keep it on an adult level, at a proper time, and cite examples that make sense. Anti social behavior is deep seated, usually harboring hostility towards someone or something--find out what they are running from or running to. Usually kids have answers that you need to drag out of them--but once they start to talk, they go on and on. Sometimes a poor or low self esteem is the issue--got to do stuff to impress others--or to prove something to someone. Kind of a hey you look at me thing. Or they are beginning to be manipulators--look at the way you are extending yourself here. Is it your child?? Is it any of your business?? I don't know, so I ask you for a reason. Some kids just do stuff to get an adult to pay attention to them--the kids actually like when they are governed--they like limits--maybe no one has shown this person any authority. I know one thing 15 is not the boss--18 is ---MAYBE !! At 18 this person can do anything they want--NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY after they reach 18---good luck

Answer 4

Hmm, well this is a little toughie, especially since I'm a guy. I would say negotiate a little. She does her homework, you let her talk on the phone more. Be home by curfew every night for a week and reduce choirs, etc. Things like that is what I would say to be best, and being a teen myself, I would also say if she has a boyfriend, or any really close friends, you could always get them to try and become a better person. Maybe things like letting them go to church functions together and things like that. (Or of course there is always the threatening way if she does have a boyfriend. ;D)