I have a son who is 25 years old. He is living at the Salvation Army and it is eating me alive inside. When he was 15 he shot and killed my boyfriend in the back for physically abusing me. He never served time but he would not go to therapy. He got on some serious drugs but now he only smokes pot. Everyone has tried to help him from giving him a car which he did not take care of and it tore up. He has stolen from all of his family and pawned things just to get money. He even stole medicine from his grandmother who is dying of cancer. No one will let him live with them because they cannot trust him. I now have a very good Christian boyfriend who wants to marry me. He is the love of my life. Even though my son has hurt alot of people I for some reason feel guilty that he is now living at the Salvation Army. I feel like a piece of crap Mom. He rides the bus to McDonalds where he works or walks. If I go get him I lose my fiance? What should I do? I am so torn up over this that I am sick.
2007-02-25 14:59:57 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your son choose this lifestyle...You need to go on with your life, hopefully someday he'll figure things out....
2007-02-25 16:18:42 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you have a child like this you have to let them learn how fix themselves, you and your family have tried and if you think he only smokes pot you are sadly mistaken, he steals legal drugs from his family and a regular pot smoker believe it or not moves on to drugs that get hem a lot higher. A addict has to want help and get help if he does this and wants to come back into your life. Then you go slow because normally they just say this to get in to rip you off again. I use to smoke pot and I didn't steal from my family, nor did I take there meds. I got help for that with people on everything and this is the behavior they had and they were on the hard drugs that's impossible to get off of. It's scary out there and I feel sorry for you and your son but the truth is there is nothing you can do. go to meetings with him if he goes but that's all you can do. I'm being honest and I'm sorry if it hurts you but I have seen it been around and I know the facts and truth.
2007-02-25 23:16:57 · answer #2 · answered by queenie one 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes tough love is the best love.Your son has drained you mentally and physically and it is time for you to cut the apron strings and help him by letting him get his life together on his own.You cannot blame yourself for how his life is going.If you continue to bail him out every time he needs help,he will never learn to be responsible and ultimately,become a productive citizen.Your son is an adult now and unless he is mentally challenged,he is perfectly capable of catching a bus to work,keeping a job,and finding a place to live that he can afford.The best thing that you can do is pray about everything and leave it in God's hands.I'm not saying abandon your son,but sometimes letting children feel the burn without someone always coming to the rescue is exactly what they need.
2007-02-25 23:22:33 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffani W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your son is 25 year old and you dont own him any thing one of the hard thing in life is let go i know i have 5 kids and i want to help them too but after 21 they are on there own now its your turn to be happy and when your son ready he asked you for help good luck
2007-02-25 23:26:21 · answer #4 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got a dad down at the salvation army with the same thing u going throw its just my 18 b-day just came up and he didnt say nothing to me but i bought him somthing 4 x-mas and everything. myb-day is feb 14 can i get some love to!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-27 10:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by T2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't blame yourself for what happened everybody has choices. your son just used this excuse to do bad things, its not fair to you just because your son chooses this life, do what you need to do to be happy and if getting married is what you want than just do it without looking back, don't bring your son into your home until he gets help. as a mom i know what you are going through but your just going to get hurt if you bring your son into your home and he steals from you.
2007-02-25 23:49:14 · answer #6 · answered by fallen_angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he ever asked to live with you? If he hasn't asked to live with you, you shouldn't even be worried about him living with you. If you offer to let him live with you, he is more likely to take advantage of you than if he asks to live with you. Once he's asked, give him requirements for living with you, such as counseling and rehap for his pot use. If he won't buy it, he doesn't need help as badly as you may think.
2007-02-27 23:12:53 · answer #7 · answered by Juuuuliana Bird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sons behavior is beyond YOUR control... if he wasnt to get sober, he will... pot is JUST as big as anything else... let him live where he is till he can help himself... if you "go get him" it will enable him to do worse things
2007-02-25 23:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him tell him all that you ask and askhim why he does this and what is he to become and help him through this problem
2007-02-28 16:27:19 · answer #9 · answered by Cristy77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋