I find my ex boyfriend very attractive and everytime I see him I get very nervous, blush when we talk, and get the butterflies in my stomach, I catch myself staring at my ex all the time and checking him out, I swear, unconciously. Honestly and seriously, I get nervous when he comes close to me and I run away or walk away really quick when I sense he wants to talk to me.. But I don't get nervous with my current boyfriend, and he is great, I mean AMAZING. Everything I wanted with my ex, relationship wise, I live and experience with my current boyfriend. Also, my ex and I had a a very short relationship, we broke up because we didn't think there was any chemistry between us..since I got sooo nervous kissing him, holding his hand, or hugging him back when we were going out... I have never felt like this with anyone.. I am usually agressive and do a lot of stuff with my boyfriends and I NEVER get nervous. What is this feeling?? WHat is going on with me? Help!!!!! Thanks!
2007-02-25 14:36:39 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That seems like chemistry to me. Just the kind which is too strong and a bit out of your control. I used to get the same feeling about one guy as well, and still do when I meet him... The funny thing was that while that stupid kind of chemistry was there, we could hardly find commond grounds.
2007-02-25 14:44:12 · answer #1 · answered by thankful 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The feelings you're experiencing with your ex-boyfriend seems more of a crush, or just missing something that you know you can't have right now (because you have a boyfriend).
It's okay not to get nervous with your current boyfriend. All that means is you've become comfortable with him, and you've let your guard down. It sounds like your relationship has the possibility to get more serious with your current boyfriend if you don't let your fleeting feelings with your ex-boyfriend get in the way. If I were you, I'd stay with your current boyfriend, especially if you know that things weren't that great with your ex.
Love isn't just a feeling. The butterflies always do feel good, but those go away. That doesn't mean anything is wrong with the relationship, it just means that you are comfortable enough with him to really, truly love him.
2007-02-25 14:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by jenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok... I understand, really... Here's an idea that may or may not apply to you so you can take it for what it's worth. Do you have any history of abuse or dysfunction in your family? I am not saying you are dysfunctional in your feelings, per se, but sometimes women who have suffered some kind of abuse or emotional neglect tend to gravitate towards men who excite them in some way but mostly a negative way. Why else would you feel so drawn to someone you are so nervous with unless you needed that nervous feeling to put a distance between yourself and that guy so you are not so emotionally exposed as you'd be with someone else? Or, maybe instead of nervous, you mean attracted? I am not sure. Just some food for thought. Anyway, the attraction phase lasts about 15 min in a long term relationship. It's the ability to trust and communicate and enjoy common interests that endures and makes a relationship successful in the long term... I hope that helps.
2007-02-25 14:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by Jebbie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u cant explain the chemistry thingy going on between 2 people. u may feel that way even now cos ur relationship with ur ex is a short one and u havent had a chance to experience what u want with him... therefore, this makes him more desirable cos things we cant have in the end are always more mysterious, special and perfect. u know why? cos we'll imagine how it will be like if we've done this,this, this and that, that, that.
but dun sink into the memories and ur dream world. the fact is he is ur past and there is no turning back unless u break up with ur current to be with him. if u r really into ur ex, i think u shd really consider about breaking up with ur current bf cos its just not fair to him.
ur current bf sounds great... all i want to say is that some guys will make us feel nervous and some guys will make us feel comfortable and safe. what u'll want is someone who will stick with u through the good and bad... well, fireworks are short and beautiful but they dun last, do they?
i just hope u'll stick to whatever decision u make and dun regret.
2007-02-25 14:53:48 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your feelings are still strong for your ex-boyfriend and it seems like now, you're on the rebound. And no offense, but rebounds NEVER work. I think that you should really consider talking to your ex and see if he feels the same way towards you. Your current boyfriend may be everything you ever dreamed of, but then again, he's just a rebound boy. Talk to your ex and try and sort some things out. Also, it's not fair that you feel this way about your ex and not your current boyfriend. You need to be honest with both of them and tel lthem how you feel.
Good luck! ;-)
2007-02-25 14:41:10 · answer #5 · answered by lildevilgurl152004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the exact same way sometimes it means you only miss something until it is gone. Your butterflies come from not ending the relationship completely. When ever you don't completely leave your feelings with a person they tend to travel you around to your next relationships. Go back if you can and leave all unwanted feelings with that person. (If they're unwanted.)
2007-02-25 14:49:35 · answer #6 · answered by bluemoneybanks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think that honestly, if u feel the way u say u do with ur x then that means u have truly found someone that can turn u upside down (which is good). people say that when you found the one then you KNOW and obviously from what u said he is it. so make a move on ur x!!!!!! and wasting ur time with ur current boyfriend that u know u wont get anywhere keeps u unavailable for others that make u feel the way u do with ur x.
2007-02-25 14:44:38 · answer #7 · answered by mary m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably because your "ex" is just that your ex that you cant have anymore. You have someone who is good to you and you say you love him but you still want what you cant have. You say you didnt have chemisty w/ your ex so why try now?? You need to keep with your good man you have now and put all your attention in your new man instead of wondering about the ex
2007-02-25 14:41:08 · answer #8 · answered by Alexis221 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust your feeling and follow your heart. if there was something wrong at first with your ex there probably is still no chemistry just curiosity of what it might have been. don't throw away a good thing away. the grass is not greener on the other side.
2007-02-25 14:52:01 · answer #9 · answered by WILLIAMS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you're were going to fast in your relationship with your ex boyfriend maybe try it again except slow down and let things happen slowly
2007-02-25 14:40:38 · answer #10 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋