I'm very confused and don't know what to do.?

Question

I met a man online 6 yrs ago.He is a very nice caring man.The problem is that he tells his family and friends that he can't have sex since he had prostate cancer.His daughter moved in with him a couple of years ago and his son lives near.He lives 2 hrs away.I have never met any of his family.Think his daughter is very controlling.He visits me as often as possible but don't think his family knows he spends the night.I go out with him here but never in his town.I don't think he's ashamed of me since i'm a fairly nice looking woman and fairly intellengent.Says he loves me,emails or phones daily.His cancer came back and he says he doesn't want to commit because he doesn't want me to have to care for hiim.which i would.I spend most of my time especially nights alone.I don't want to see any other man but this is very upsetting.Any ideas of what i should do?We are both over 60 and i don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.

Answer 1

I feel awkward answering this because I'm sure you are intelligent and experienced enough to know what to do but I will give you my opinion anyway.

I think you should tell him that he means the world to you and that you want to be with him for as long as possible regardless of his health. I'm sure you know that his actions are probably him trying to protect you from being hurt too much. It sounds like you want to play a full role in his life which I also think you should tell him.

Good luck to both of you, he is very lucky to have a woman like you around in such difficult times.

Answer 2

Wow! That's a very deep situation that you have described. I think that it's very noble of your man to want to protect you while he's going through such a scary ordeal such as fighting cancer. It could be that he's thinking of sparing you some pain and really doesn't want you to suffer seeing him suffer. Still, people who are fighting for their lives need that love and support of some one dear, and even if he says that he doesn't want you to be there, you being there might be exactly what he needs. A lot of people don't even realize that fact until the one that they are trying to push away simply refuses to budge. Try being that immovable object letting him know that you care and you want him in your life by your choice. He may recognize that you are there for him and see that what you have to offer him is something special that the two of you both want and need. I wish you so much luck and hope that it works out for the two of you.