I have been involved with 2 guys who I became very close to.(intimately).. Both of them used thier work...one is self employed and has several business'...the other is a police detective. ...used thier work as excuses as why they were not able to meet me for coffee...or a drink. or whatever . I know this means they are not that interested or they would make time.....But when I ask they say no...I was just tied up ..I am so sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad........When can i see you?
2007-02-25 13:39:36 · 3 answers · asked by janetw 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, when you are intimate with a guy before knowing the depth of his feelings for you, then you are putting yourself in a position of being used by the guy for sex. Many times a guy will sleep with a woman but isn't interested in a relationship with them because there isn't that "spark". If a guy has to make up excuses why he can't meet with you, it's probably because he senses that you want more from him than he is willing to give and he is trying to be a gentleman about it and not hurt your feelings or be rude. He could be regretting that he slept with you, but throws you a carrot so to speak to keep you thinking that he is telling the truth because he asks "when can I see you?". Then when he gets to thinking about it, a work situation will "come up" that will prevent him from seeing you again.
Now there IS that possibility that these guys are being totally honest with you. I think you should just cut to the chase and quit trying to pin these guys down to talk about "their feelings". Guys hate that. Just try the direct approach. Say something like "hey, I just want you to know that I enjoyed my time with you, but I am not the kind of woman who just enjoys casual flings - I am looking for a relationship. If you are just looking for sex, can you tell me straight up so that we don't waste each other's time? I want to be fair to both of us". When a man is confronted with the direct approach, he will either appreciate your bluntness and tell you honestly what his intentions are, or he will lie to you. Either way, you will be telling him how YOU feel and will draw him out into the open by giving him the opportunity to tell you how he feels without having to engage in an uncomfortable discussion about "feelings". Good luck to you.
2007-02-25 13:56:33 · answer #1 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself, they are not that interested in you, but since you are willing to "put out", any guy would say they didn't mean to make you feel bad, it's almost a given that you will go to bed with them again if they can make you feel over sensitive to the situation. Again, you say that yourself in the later part of your question. Instead of telling them how bad your feelings were hurt, why don't you tell them if they aren't willing to put forth an effort in the relationship, then there will be no relationship. I bet you get a whole different response. Try it................and make better choices regarding the men you become intimate with.
2007-02-25 21:49:40 · answer #2 · answered by fisherwoman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he does not want to hert yourfeelings....And alot of guys dont show their feelings because they think it makes then less of a man~!
2007-02-25 21:44:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋