how do you get over someone dying thatyou were married to for 28 years?

Answer 1

I'm going through this now. I was married for 43 yrs. and recently lost my husband. I have ups and downs every day. At this point, when the intense sorrow hits me, I think that I'll always feel the same as I do now. But I am blessed that my husband and I were still in love after all that time and the good memories are such a treasure. I've decided what is best for me right now is to let whatever feelings I have come to the forefront; sit around all day or keep busy, talk about my feelings, cry, just let the feelings flow. I hope you have good family support. That really helps me. And my grandchild lights up my life. And know that your spouse is at peace now. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 2

You dont - Peopple will say time heals all wounds but honestly it's not true , If I cut off a finger on your hand you eventually learn to live with out it but you never stop missing it or wishing it was their do you, Same applies to our hearts When we loose someone we love , We loose a piece of our hearts and we will always wish it was there and miss it but eventually we learn to cope and change our lifes so that we can function without that other person , There will be bad days , ok days and belive it or not thee will be good ones to , (When you remmber all the love you shared) I havent been maried or lost a significant other but I lost my mom almost 8 years ago now and that void in my heart will forever be , But I look at it like this I live as if my mom was here do what would make her proud and I try and live happy cause I know in my heart thats all she could ever want for me !
God Bless you - Im so sorry for your loss

Answer 3

One day at a time. I'm sorry you are going thru this. Are you the current spouse? Regardless, please seriously consider getting a counselor to help you with this process. Griefing is one thing that has 5 steps to it, and they don't always come in the same order for everyone. Or, if you can find a grief/loss class/support group, that would be of help as well. No matter if you are the current spouse or not, you have been with this person for 28 yrs. That is a long time. Please take care of yourself. And, allow the grieving process. It isn't always a pleasant thing to go thru, but it is something we have to go thru when we know people, and even pets.

Answer 4

You don't. There really is no such thing as closure, but with time acceptance isn't painful. That was a life time of love, good times, and bad. Grieving has about 5 stages, and sometimes people get stuck or take one step forward and two steps back. Acceptance involves getting on with your life. Cry, get angry, do what you have to do. Give yourself at least 2 years. Get busy and involved so that you don't isolate yourself from others. I'm sorry for your loss. Closure, to me, is a pop culture term. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 5

I am sorry for your loss.
You will never get over it. You will just learn to deal with it.
My 21 year old son died four years ago. I will never be the same.

Death is not new to the human experience. But, it is new to each of us who experience it.

It isn't fair. We can't change it. We can't avoid it. We can't just move on. We need to experience it. Deal with it. And live the best life we can concerning it.

The person you lost would want you to continue with life and know joy and happiness. Grief will come in waves. But, you will go on. You will surrive.

You might even love again. Be open for a new chapter in your life.

Answer 6

I'm guessing you won't. Just take it one step at a time. Let yourself feel your emotions. Give yourself time when you need it. Reach out to friends or go to counseling. Join a bereavement support group. Don't try to do it all on your own. Don't take on to much. Just do what feels right for you. When you're tired of feeling sad, do something to make yourself happy,even for a moment. And don't feel guilty because of that, they would want you to be happy. Good Luck, you have my sympathy.

Answer 7

hmmmm, my stepdad got over my mom dying, after 38 years of marriage in about ohhhh 2 seconds, and it was a GOOD marriage!

You will just have to take your time, and your heart will heal. Occupy your time with your friends, family and/or volunteering and mentoring kids, in programs such as big brothers/big sisters is good too....I am sorry that you had to experience such a loss:(

Answer 8

Get a tattoo of them or something that will remind you of them when you two were happy together. I am dead serious, I have a portrait tattood on me, and I look at it everyday. Its hard not to, its on my forearm, but it has helped because I remember the good times, and when I remember the bad times or start to get that real low feeling for still being alive and they arent, I look at it and ultimatly remember the good times.

Answer 9

That's a tough pill to swallow. One or more of these would certainly be helpful: Faith in God, a strong support system, extracurricular activities, friends who love you and understand. Even one would mean a great difference. My best to whomever it is that has suffered such a loss, and God bless...

Answer 10

you don't you simply push yourself to keep going and try to remmember the good times and suddenly on day you find the pain is bareable and then when you think of your loved one you can smile.