Okay, Here is my situation I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. At the beginning it was an answered prayer (literally). Actually, it was the best thing for me at the time. It has enabled me to be a stronger woman & learn how to have a "healthy" non-abusive relationship. But, at the same time my intuition tells me we are is as far as we'll ever get. I want more and he just can't or won't give more or move on from the past relationships that have severely damaged his ideas of a commitment & long-term relationship. ( Our ideas of a relationship are completely different) I have reaped his "bad past" long enough, he just will not open up to me on certain issues, & I can't help him with them. So, On the 17th of this month, after a year of discussing & planning I decided to moved out of "our" house & get my own place again. There are just to many issues that absolutely need to be resolved before "this" relationship can grow any further. For myself...If I don't resolve the issues that hinder me I will never be able to be a mentally healthy woman. I can't resolve these issues with no one else, I have to do this myself. No one can help me with them & The same for him. This is reality- not an opinion or emotion. He has helped me in this transition being very understanding & supportive.(We are still together, just living a part) BUT....
My woman intuition tells me that I need to end our relationship completely, I feel like I am not an important part of his life, that he takes me for granted. He says, "I am" but, his actions are totally different from his words. I have almost always felt like I was "on the side", that quality time with me is not an issue for him. He has always pushed the issues of quality time to the side saying, "we have 30 or more years for it, but I NEED more & no matter what I say or do I D'ONT get it. I battled this issue with him for almost 2 yrs now. I am tired of repeating myself.
In the beginning, he was everything in a man I desired... He is truly a good , decent, caring, loving man, but at the same time he is self-centered and extremely selfish. I reap the bad that has happened to him, I love him ....What do I do?
How do I let go the best thing in life that has happened to me?
2007-02-25 12:45:46 · 6 answers · asked by Cajun_ Creater 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You sound like a mature women. I understand from experience what you're going through. What I honestly would do and did is simply to say "you are my best friend, and will always be someone that will be an important part of my life. You have all the answers as to what I want for us, but it's obvious you don't feel the same. If I remain in this situation and wait, I will be unable to grow. The first step was for me to move out and now the second step is for me to move on." You have to think of yourself, if he loved you as much as you love him you wouldn't have to search for answers. Best of luck
2007-02-25 13:32:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you need to let him know you are considering a fresh start. No rush to do it but to consider it.
You were right about trying that long to make the relationship grow and you're right about thinking he will never open up to you. If an agreement on this matter will come up, it will make appearances last more. We are from Mars and you're from Venus, don't forget that.
You didn't go to common friends in order to protect him from becoming gossip subject which could tear him apart, you're right again. If that won't make him feel he looses you and react, then you have a strong reason to move on. Just have faith new best things will happen to you.
2007-02-25 18:44:21 · answer #2 · answered by geopop65 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try a complete break for awhile, like a month or two, and see how things go. Either one or both of you could realize how much you truly mean to each other or one or both of you could realize that you are hanging on to something that really isn't there. Either way, you will find an answer and won't have to wonder anymore. Good luck.
2007-02-25 13:10:15 · answer #3 · answered by k b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm kind of* going through the same thing. We've been together for 3 years.... and lately i feel as though i am second to him. i've been putting it aside, hoping to have a conversation about it. but when i try too, he just gets soo mad about it.
i don't have a real answer for this but just letting you know your not the only one going through it.
But i know that i am going to stick with him and hopefully overcome it. we've been through stuff before and i think we can pass this also.
2007-02-25 12:59:45 · answer #4 · answered by barngurl91 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would try and work things out then if that did not work out then i say good bye and try to let him go even throw it will be heard and it will hurt like hell you need to do what you think is best and what is best for the both of you.
2007-02-25 13:03:58 · answer #5 · answered by betty m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love hurts we all know. but see you should follow your heart and do what you think is best for you.maybe confront him about it,let him know the feelings you have.but most important,do what feels right :D.
2007-02-25 12:51:12 · answer #6 · answered by loyal 2 tha bone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋