my 9yr old was playing with my 18 month old baby, i ask him repeatedly not to jump and run around when playin?

Question

today they were playing and the baby started crying, i asked my 9yr old what happened, he said that he didn't know, i separated them and when confronting him again he said he kicked him in the stomach. i dont know whether it was intentional or not, but I dont know what to do about the situation, i,m afraid if I let them play anymore that something will happen the baby couldve been seriously injured. how should i deal with my 9yr old about playing with his little brother

Answer 1

I would be concerned about that also if this was something that happened often. If this is an isolated situation and hasn't happened before, I would not go into a panic yet. I recommend having a talk with your son about about how fragile his little sibling is and how he needs to be more careful around him. And I would also try to watch the next time they played together and observed how they were playing.

If this is something that happens often and is not an isolated incident, I would think about counseling for your son. Is it possible he might have some jealousy issues with your toddler?

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Is the 9 y/o the next oldest sibling, or does he have other younger sibs? By the time my older son was 9, he was helping care for his two youngest siblings, by entertaining them with funny faces, holding them for brief periods when I was busy, and many other ways. He certainly knew that you NEVER EVER hurt a baby, and that he needed to be mindful of goofing off around the little ones.

I'm not trying to sound high and mighty, but maybe to offer an insight of what goes on in other families. We have high expectations of our children. We're larger than most families, though, so what may be considered acceptable behavior in some households with two or three kids, if allowed here, can mean total chaos for us. A child chasing another, quickly becomes three or four (or more) running through my house, plowing down my youngest. Two raised voices usually attract more, until it sounds more like a lynching mob than kids playing. A child jumping, doing karate kicks, or tussling with another can be a very dangerous thing. We don't allow it indoors, although they're welcome to go play outside if they need to let off some steam. There's been a baby and toddler around to watch out for ever since, well, the beginning, so many of our rules are set around keeping the environment safe and fun for the littlest ones.

If your older son is the next oldest sib, obviously he's not used to thinking of his little brother first, and maybe he really doesn't know just how easily a toddler can be seriously injured by carelessness. I would hope he's not trying to hurt his brother on purpose, but if you have even a shred of a doubt, I would definitely get some more info from a teacher, school counselor, pastor, etc. about how you can deal with a serious issue like that.

In the meantime, if you're tired of reminding him over and over about keeping his behavior calmer in the house, pick the consequence that will affect him the most (computer, video game, playing w/ friends, etc.) and ground him from it the next time he gets wild in the house. Give it about a week to really bother him that he's missing out on it, then he can have it back conditionally-- if he controls his behavior today, he gets the privilege tomorrow. If he starts abusing this system, go back to the week-long groundings, and add on a day or two more with every infraction. Write it down and keep track of it-- he will probably be counting on you forgetting, or giving in before the time is up.

If he has hyperactivity issues, or just can't seem to help himself for whatever reason, I would not allow him to be alone in a room with his brother until he can prove himself trustworthy.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Your nine year old shouldn't be playing with his brother in long time periods...he needs someone who can get up and run around with him. I would limit their playing time and you should be in there with them! It seems convenient and probably gives you some free time to make dinner or sort laundry, but it's really not reasonable to expect a nine year old to play with a baby for longer than, oh, I'd say fifteen minutes.
Knowing my older kids, it was probably an accident, if he's running around and playing with the baby, stuff happens. Exactly why he needs older kids to play with. What i think is sad is that he felt he had to lie to you initially. I would have stepped in probably the second time that I had to warn the older child, and said something like 'you seem to need a lot of active play that your little brother can't keep up with....why don't we play a game together' and YOU be the partner. Basically you are the adult and should have stepped in the first time you had to warn them to slow down. Nine year olds run and jump and play like that. If you don't want him to, you need to redirect him to something more appropriate. "Lets play this game with brother instead"

Answer 4

With out knowing all the details of how it all happened it's hard to say.
I would probably guess that he is jealous of the baby as he had you all to himself for over 7yrs and all of a sudden this little person has your attention and your 9yr old doesn't!
Perhaps try asking him how he feels about his little brother and if he feels that he is being left out and ignored?
He might just need some special time on his own with you

Answer 5

First a 9yr old shouldn't be playing with a 18mnth old baby. That is too dangerous because ur infant can result injured. Make sure once u tell him not to play heavy with the lil one he listens to u. y don't u let ur 9yrold play with toys his age. and once in a while let him play with his lil brother softly. like singing to him, helping him put blocks together, teach him how to color and write his name. These are ways of playing. Take good care of ur lil ones. good luck

Answer 6

The first thing you need to look at is why did you have to REPEATEDLY tell him not to jump and run around when playing?
I would work on discipline if I were you.

Answer 7

I would give my childs a good spanking right on their little butts. I guarentee you that your child will not have that problem any more.Give them a good butt whoop'n. When i was a kid my parents would whoop me right on my butt and I didn't do it any more. i'm not saying smack the pure crap out of them but I would make sure that they got the message.