WHO SHOULD walk me down the aisle??

Question

My bio father lives in Panama (country). I lived with him everyother year since I can remember, He loves me very much. He always took good care of me although my mom and him dont get along. When I was 15 I moved to the US with my mom, stepfather and brother and sister. My stepgfather has taken care of all of us since. He also loves me very much and I love him too, Im very thankful for all he has done. My problem is, My stepdad is "VERY" excited about the wedding because he feels that he is walking me down the aisle, he is in the military and has asked to wear his formal attire to do so, he doesnt have any kids either. My dad cannot wait either and of course he is my real dad so he feels like he is the one too. I cannot have them both walk me down the aisle because they hate eachother and my bio dad will be very angry he probably wont talk to me and my stepfather would feel very hurt. I dont want to hurt either of them and I dont know what to do. Anyone have an idea for a happy end

I've tought of ways like. Having one walk me down and the other one do the father daughter dance but that is not going to work. My mom and older sister feel that it should be my stepfather because without him I would not be here marrying my fiance but my brother and other sister feel it should be my bio dad and dont understand why I'm even thinking about my step father.
Does anyone have a good suggestion?? Please dont say do what makes you happy because I dont know what will.
Thank you!!!

Answer 1

Have them both, my parents walked me down the aisle

Answer 2

I had a very similar situation when I got married. My mom has been married alot so I have 4 dads and each one is special in their own way. They ALL made it for my wedding and I didn't want to have to chose and hurt any feelings either.
My brother happily walked and gave me away. He is the one male that has been a constant my whole life and it just felt right.

Don't know if you have an option like that. If not, maybe your mother could do it or have one walk you and the other give you away.

Answer 3

If your two dads love you as much as you say they do, then they should be able to put aside their differences for one day, so they can both walk you down the aisle. This is your day. If either of them have a problem with it, then the don't deserve to walk you down the aisle. I'm sure they'll both understand if you just talk to them. I think having them both do it is the best way to go.

Answer 4

First of all this is YOUR day both of the special men in your life need to be grown ups. While I know that is hard I would have them both walk and when asked who gives this woman they should both say We do. The other option is you walk by yourself and when you reach the front and when the question is posed who gives this woman both should stand from their front row but opposite sides and say we do. I would explain the facts to them and let them deal with it. They have a couple of options be adults and both walk away with this special memory while being included or be left out by not attending or by only being allowed the small part of saying we do from their seats. Or do away with the men altogether and have your mom escort you. People just dont know how to be grown ups sometimes

Answer 5

These men have one major thing in common.... Their love for you, their daughter. For ONE day, they have to come together to celebrate YOU entering a new and exciting phase in your life. They should both be mature enough for this. You must talk to both of them and explain this. Maybe you would have never met your fiance if not for your step-father. If not for your bio-dad, you would not have been on this earth to begin with.

If they force you to choose, have your Mother walk you down the isle. This will teach them a lesson they will not soon forget. They are being selfish for not considering what you want FIRST!!

At the reception, I would be certain to choose 2 different songs and dance separate dances with both Dad's. For this, I would dance with bio-dad first.

Good Luck and I wish you could let us know how it all turns out!!

Answer 6

You know what? Its your day and they need to put their differences behind them just for a few hours. It will not kill them to pretend to get along just for a little while. Make sure that they both know how important they are to you and that you'd like them both to walk you down the aisle. Maybe they could do it together or maybe one could walk you half way and the other one could walk you the other half. This is your day!!! Tell them what YOU want!
Hopefully they will understand.

Answer 7

I'm in EXACTLY your shoes. I decided to have my stepdad walk me down the aisle and my bio dad will give me away at the alter. It's a tough decision. I think both parts of the ceremony are very significant. My stepdad raised me from when I was 9. The walk down the aisle represents your journey from one life to another, my stepdad took me from childhood life to adulthood life. When someone gives you away it symbolizes your separation from your family and joining with another. Since my dad brought me into my family with my grandparents, mom and brothers and sisters I felt this was good for my dad to do. I hope this helps you it seems to be working for me. Good Luck!!

Answer 8

You need to talk to them both and explain how you feel. They may not like each other, but it sounds like they both love you very much. That being the case, I'm sure they wouldn't want to make YOUR day any less than perfect for you. Explain they both are very important to you, and to make your day perfect you would appreciate them putting their feelings aside for the few minutes it will take to BOTH walk you down the isle. Then, pick a very special song for each with a meaning, (that you can explain to them) showing how important each are in your life.

I can't imagine anyone you cares for you as much as they obviously do, not wanting to do everything in their power to make it a day you will always remember as perfect.

Best wishes for a beautiful wedding and a life of happiness.

Answer 9

Two options.

One can walk you half way, the other the other half.

Or they can both do it together.

No matter what, both of these men helped to raise you & make you the woman you are today. It doesn't matter if they hate each other, because they love you, as you love them. For that reason, they need to do what they can to put aside their personal feelings towards each other and share the honor of giving you away. Sharing the honor is better than having no honor at all.

Talk to them, tell them how much you love them & how they've helped in you life. However, they aren't alone in that. Explain that you would like them both to walk you down the asile because they both mean so much to you. If one refuses to do it, I'm sorry, but it's not fair to you or anyone else to pick someone because they will otherwise refuse. Share the day with BOTH of the men in your life who have meant to much to you through the years.

Answer 10

Ask them to put away their difference and tell them how important this is for you . Be grateful you have had them both my daughter on had 5 early years of her step father and we divorced when she was 6 and he never got in touch with her again. She got in touch with him recently ( he and I did have a son to gather) and now this wedding is a big mess. Feelings only matter for her. I thought her grandfather who helped us all these years was going to walk her down the aisle now it looks like its going to be who pays more money for the Honey moon. I have bought almost everything for the wedding and my parents gave me $200 toward that. I HAVE BEEN DISABLED FOR 7 YEARS AND SHE 25 so you know he helped a lot. After all my dad helped her even after she moved out and her step dad hasn't done nothing ever. I glad to hear there are people with hearts and feelings out there. Get them alone and tell them how you feel toward them both and that you want them to give you away to gather. My daughter has lost what I thought I taught her. She had no participating father, I wish my choices in men were better but I let my family push me in to my marriages, I was young and had no idea of what was going on. I regret not having picked the right man that would be there for his daughter, I was 19 and that was way to early for anyone to get married. I wasn't mature enough. Then I remarried again when she was 18 months old. I listened to my parents again I knew inside it wasn't going to work he had already hit me, they had seen his drunk behavior. So be grateful you have 2 men that love you and tell them how important it is that you spend this day without regret or hurting either of them. Good Luck and God Bless you.

Answer 11

Ok, so you are in a tough situation! But, here is what i would suggest that you do: Since both men have played a major role in your life, and you love them both equally, and do not want to hurt there feelings i would try and talk to BOTH of them.

Tell them how you feel, and how torn you are between who walks you down the isle.... I would ask them (even though they dislike each other- It is YOUR day, and they should act appropraite and make sure that you are happy) both to do so. Tell them that you love them both equally and would love for them both to walk you down the isle...

I would hope for 1 day, that the 2 of them could put aside there differences and be civial and apart of one of the best days of your life.

The only way suggestion that i have- Is walk down the isle by yourself, and im sure you dont want to do that.

Just talk to them, and trust me- I think that they can accompany what you want on YOUR SPECIAL day!

Good luck sweetie~~~