Am I pushing my kids too hard?

Question

Tonight, we had fried chicken, potato salad, and deviled eggs.

My 3yo used a plastic knife to dice the egg whites. He also removed the yolks and put them in a seperate bowl.

My 5yo measured mayonaisse, and mixed the filling for the deviled eggs.

My 3yo also set the table.

My 5yo also cleared it.

Their grandma says I'm pushing them too hard, and being lazy and making them do work that is mine. What do you think?

Answer 1

Sounds to me like you're instilling good values in them. People are more appreciative when they know the process involved in things (like getting a good meal on the table every night). My guess is that you still have more than enough to do (and in my experience getting the kids involved actually increases the work load rather than decreasing it).

Answer 2

I don't think so, I think children need to have jobs and responsibilities to grow up and be successful citizens. A lot of kiddos love to help too. I'm a Kindergarten teacher and my students love having jobs in the classroom and love to know that they are help. A little praise goes a long way for these little guys. As long as you are not giving them jobs that are too hard, frustrating, or dangerous for their age, then I don't see a problem with it. It encourages responsibilities and I hope that when my little one (due soon) is the age of your kiddos that they will be taking on responsibilities like your little ones.

Something you could do to encourage their work (and you may already be doing this) is put up a sticker chart. Everytime they do a job well you can let them put a sticker on their chart. This is enough of an incentive to get them excited to help around the house. And if you like, you can give them a reward after they reach a certain goal, but it's not necessary. Kids this age are just so eager to please that usually just adding the stickers can be all the incentive they need. :)

Answer 3

I don't think you are pushing them too hard. You are getting involved in the daily activities of the household. I don't know if I'd let my 3 yo set the table with actual dishes (she's dropped some of my good ones), but paper plates would be fine. I think it's great family time to cook and have a family meal together, and keeping them busy doing these activities will only make it more fun. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

Answer 4

I have 3 children myself and they love to help me in the kitchen. Kids want to be involved, included, and have a sense of responsibility. Every day my 7 year old and 3 year old help me pick up the house. They are responsible for cleaning their room and making their bed. They actually ask me if they can help fold laundry and windex the glass. Families are so busy these days it's also a good time for conversation and catching up on one anothers day. Sometimes we just turn on the radio and dance while we work. We have such a great time, sometimes we forget that we're actually cleaning the house.

I personally do not see anything wrong with working with children from a young age on these things. I think it helps set them up for the future. I see so many teenagers and adults today that had no chores growing up and mommy and daddy did everything and they are completely disallusioned. Then they expect their mate to pick up the slack. Why not turn the work and chores of daily life into a learning and life experience for our children. That's our job as parents to train and guide and teach....from birth, using age appropriate methods.

Answer 5

I think there needs to be a balance in every household. Some of what you are describing sounds like it may just be inherently inborn traits of their personality....however, some of it sounds like they are bordering on obsessive/compusive behaviors. Teaching them responsibilities like setting and clearing the table are positive expectations to set (however, 3 and 5 may be a bit too young - unless you are using plastic dishes LOL). If your requests are resonable and age appropriate, then there is nothing wrong with it....Cleaning up after themselves, picking up their rooms, their laundry, etc is totally reasonable. My 5 year old old empties the silverware from the dishwashwer and puts them away, but these are fun interactions times and she knows she's helping out. My 7 year old collects all the trash from trash cans the night before trash pick up...and they both pick their rooms. It's not the chores that worried me when first reading your question as much as the "obsessive" type behaviors you describe. Be carefull that you don't create "perfect little monsters." ;o)

Answer 6

It's never too early to teach children responsibilities or give them opportunities. Good going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell their grandma to mind her own business.
My grand daughters (age 8 and twins at 10) have been folding their own clothes for years. They are also responsible for setting the table, clearing the table, load the dish washer, keep their rooms clean, make their own beds, vaccum and 'poop patrol' in the back yard for their dog. Doing these chores build character for them and they appreciate things more now.

Answer 7

It really depends on your motives for doing it. If you're getting them to do it because you want to use them like slaves then yes, 3 and 5 yo's doing those duties for you is excessive. If you are getting them to do it, as a fun, family orientated, learning experience then there is no harm in it at all. It really depends on your attitude. If you are making sure they HAVE to be in the kitchen every night to help you then that is extremely overboard. On the other hand if your children love learning and spending time with you, playing house then I don't see any harm in it.

Answer 8

No, keep it up. They need to learn to be good helpers and work with you.

I didn't have my older two help a lot when they were younger, and I regret it.

With our 4 yr old, he asks every morning what he can do to help and I always let him do something like vacuum or dust or unload the dishwasher or dryer. It is good for them to be able to work.

My 4 yr old son also helps me cook and loves it. (Not with the stove, of course).

Kudos to you!

Answer 9

Your kids didn't do anything mine don't do. Grandma is a moron. Is she by any chance your mother-in-law? She ought to know that to let kids help is MORE WORK for the mom than to do it yourself. It's the opposite of lazy!

Answer 10

It's a good thing that your children help as long as fun for them a 5 year old can clean a table but I don't see a 3 year old seeting it.