He is an alcoholic, drug addict, I know in his own way he loves me, as much as he can, but how can I just walk out on him, but I can't handle hhow he keeps hurting me, do these poeple ever get help & quit using? Confusedddd.
2007-02-25 11:55:31 · 18 answers · asked by Tamra P 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG!! How I feel you. I've been with this guy for about 6 years too.. he doesn't do the bad drugs but he drinks and does all this other s... and always hangs out with his friends instead of us (me and our 5 year old).
You would figure after all these years it would wind down and he'd calm down but they haven't! Honestly I don't think that they will change.... I wish and I bet you wish too but after so many years they still doin the same ol thing.
I think what you need to think about is what YOU want in life... do you see yourself with him in 5 years? I know you asked yourself this 5 years ago.... thinkin in your head that he won't be doin the same thing in 5 years. But they are. And they might be in 5 years.... you deserve better. Find someone that respects you... our men are selfish people and only care about their self.
Thanks! You just helped me realize what I need to do.....
2007-02-25 12:04:16 · answer #1 · answered by Destinee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is how long he has been an addict & alcoholic? Did he started to be one when you are already in the relationship with him or you just found out? Do you know the root cause why he is drinking and doing drugs? 1st step would be try to help him out of it. If he still hurts you.. sad to say, but I think you have to give him time to think by himself... I think 6 years of it is already very hard for you...You deserve to have a better future... If he really Loves you, then he will have to earn you back... I couldn't imagine living your whole life with someone who can't even help himself... How can he help and support you as well?!!.. Be strong...
2007-02-25 12:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by nel_occiano 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this question......
" Have u ever heard of a couple living a happy life when one is an alcoholic?" No, not unless both are.
I truly feel for u. I was in the same boat. I loved the man with everything in me, but how long can u continue to wait for the good? I got tired of looking into bloodshot eyes, and having useless conversations. I got tired of being groped instead of being caressed. I got tired of having sex, instead of making love and looking in my eyes.
Its a hard life. I had to get out, and although it hurt, I knew it was the right thing to do for me. In this type of situation, u have to be a little selfish. U cannot think of them, u have to think of you and whats best for u.
They have already made their decision and have chosen their priority. They will keep what means the most to them, which is the alcohol. U will forever be second.
Its hard to face that u lose to a bottle. But, its a fact none the less.
In short, when u get sick of what I have outlined in this passage.....u will know its time to break loose.
Its not easy, but trust me, the hurt isnt near as bad as the feeling of freedom that I have gained. Its truly a burdon lifted.
I wish u luck. And much happiness for a brighter future.
2007-02-25 12:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you? In "His" own way? NO! he loves himself! You're' just something for his ego and some place to dump his ---- ! Read 1st Corinthians chapter 13 and see what 90% of people don't know; what love really is. You are a gift of GOD! not a toilet or a trash can! read windwalker's yahoo 360 and see what you really are; A precious gift, a rare exotic flower. Stop getting trampled! Enough was 5 years 364 days ago! If you really love him tell him you'll be moving on and if he really loves you to grow up and prove it. All you're doing is enabling him to continue being childish and stupid. He can't love you; he's already in love, with Al & Dru (alcohol & drugs).
2007-02-25 12:22:12 · answer #4 · answered by windwalker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Tamra P.
I would only ask you do this one thing for yourself.
Make A List Of Two Questions You will Ask Yourself. Then after you answered them honestly count the answers per list, total them up and see how different one is from the other. Seeing it in writing may make you see more clearly now how you have literally wasted 6 years of your young life ( which you won't ever get back) and unconvince yourself that this is truly what you want for the rest of your life. Sounds to me that you stay more out of guilt and being needy than what Love should make you stay for. I think you stick around because you feel some sort of control over what he is incapable of doing for himself. And this gives you a poor sense of yourself whether you agree or not. Only you can decide for yourself what you need to do. So what if it hurts to leave!. Do you think he is going to sit by the phone waiting for you to call? Hell NO. His main interest is indulging in false emotions brought on by the damage he is doing to himself. If he doesn't accept the idea of Rehab now. (Not Tomorrow). Then give yourself permission to leave him for good. And don't turn back out of guilt. You aren't making him do what he doesn't want to do. So get out and live a real life. Give your Love to someone who will Honor and Cherish you and reciprocate the same. We all deserve a chance of some happiness and a life of some kind of fulfillment. You've wasted so much already. What are you waiting for? For Him to get you to the same level of a Nothing Existance. Ask yourself two questions:
1. Are you better with Him?
2. Are you better off without Him?
I wish you well,
Marseille
2007-02-25 12:16:02 · answer #5 · answered by marseillelangres 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that i can personally relate to you...i was with my ex for 7 years and for the first 4 he did use...fortunately he went to rehab and he has been sober for almost 4 years now which is amazing.....i went through a lot with him but i never wanted to leave his side because most of his friends walked out on him and i felt like i was the only person he had...so i wanted to stay with him...anyway its a very hard situation to deal with..hes hurt me a lot too and actually left me for someone else 3 months ago....im healing...but i also know the time will come when he wants to be with me again........anyway if i have learned anything..its that you deserve to be in a relationship where the feelings and acts are flowing from both ends and not just yours...its soooo hard i know ive been there..and its even harder to let go...but trust me..when you are out of the relationship..with the help of your girls....youll be able to breathe again and itll feel sooo damn good...and if you get anything out of it..itll be that you will become a much stronger woman and youll see life sooo different...its absolutely amazing..i wouldnt have it any other way...good luck..be strong...hope i helped ya
2007-02-25 12:13:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When is enough, enough? Honey that would be about 5 yrs, 51 weeks, and 6 days ago (in other words right after you met and learned what kind of person he was).
Get some self esteem and self respect and move on. As long as you allow yourself to be a victim, you will be. It's all up to you...don't you think you are worth more than that? He can only hurt you, because you let him. So stop it.
2007-02-25 12:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People with alcohol and drug addiction need professional help. Don't walk out on him, walk him to a rehab center or medical professional that can handle addiction disorders. He will continue to hurt you until he gets help. Don't kid yourself into thinking otherwise.
2007-02-25 11:59:55 · answer #8 · answered by am_i_helpful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He truly isn't that reliable searching. he's very overall and appears like a touch a device. tell him you want him for God's sake- it really is not any longer that confusing. He gained't eat you. you're extra appropriate off than him so a recommendations as seems pass, and also you need to be fantastically pleasing at your acceptable if it really is you at your worst- i'm wondering you're Indian or some thing? in simple terms ignore this stupid lack of self belief element, that is genuine life, no longer some ridiculous love tale like Twilight. tell him you want him and get this self triggered torment over with. in simple terms don't be as needy and adoring like you're, it really is a large turn-off. in simple terms act like a wise and mature 17 year previous. and that i'm absolutely a year youthful than you, so swill that over on your thoughts- I requested my modern-day female friend out interior 2 hours of assembly her. 5 years is in simple terms... flabbergasting.
2016-12-04 22:58:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i have been a recovery alcholic for 20 years and u have too let him hit rock bottom first or u willjust have let find out what losing someone to the addiction really can hurt the person your with and u should get people to gether for a intervention and see if that work cause u are to have give something to say hey get help or i'm out of here because he will get worse before he gets better do something now about it ok before its too late get him help and he also needs to ask for it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok kandi
2007-02-25 12:10:34 · answer #10 · answered by kandie g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋