I need help for this Grammar situation?

Question

Can some one check the grammar on this pleae?

Richest African American Alive!

Born January 29th, 1954 was Oprah Gail Winfrey. She became the

richest African American female of all time, at her current age which

is fifty-three. She is currently worth $1.5 billion. She is worried about

the education of many children. She has had a terrible background

along with a rough childhood, but has overcome this giant obstacle.

She has her own production company as well.

Oprah Gail Winfrey was born in Kosciusko, Mississippi to the

parents of Vernita Lee and father Vermon Winfrey, who were

unmarried teenagers. when her mother and father split up she lived

her first six years with her grandma Hattie Mae. Living in bad poverty

and in the "ghetto", she taught herself to read at the age of three. The

most terrible thing that has happened to her was when she was

molested by her cousins, uncle, and family starting at the nine.

When she was thirteen she ran away and became pregnant at fourteen,

but gave birth, to a stillborn.

Oprah always wanted to be an actress. She started at seventeen

becoming the youngest news anchor and the first colored female there

at Nashville's WLAC-TV. In 1983, her show Donahue was the

number one talk show in Chicago, Illinois. Then it was later renamed

The Oprah Winfrey Show that first aired on September 8th, 1986.

Besides acting she co-owns Oxygen and he own production company

"Harpo". That's Oprah spelled backwards! She won an Academy Award

for starring as Sofia in "The Color Purple", the she produced it on

Broadway. She also has two magazines called the O, and O at home!

Worried about many children's education, she has helped in many

ways. In January 2007, Oprah opened a school just for girls. Oprah

Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls was opened in Johannesburg

in South Africa. For this school, classrooms, books, desks, uniforms,

and many more Oprah invested $40 million on this project alone! This

school is fifty-two acres and has a twenty-eight building campus.

Oprah Winfrey is the wealthiest African American alive.

According to television channel E!, she is worth $1.5 billion.

Right now she lives in Montecito, California in her forty-two acre

house. She has reported to have paid $50 million on this mansion.

Besides this she owns many more homes in different locations. In fall of

2004 she gave away 276 Pontiac G6's to everyone in her audience.

Spending over $7 million, for each car costing $28,400.

One of the richest females alive, Oprah Winfrey is worth $1.5

billion. Worries about education, starting life with a troubled

childhood, to becoming an actress at seventeen. I have always

wondered why Oprah wanted to be an actress. Oprah Winfrey is a role

model to me as well as many other people. At the age of fifty-three

Oprah is still doing wonderful things for adults and children every day.

NOTE! This is not a formal essay this is for my english class.

Answer 1

Richest African American Alive!
Oprah Gail Winfrey was born January 29th, 1954, in Kosciusko, Mississippi to the
parents of Vernita Lee and father Vermon Winfrey, unmarried teenagers at the time, who split up when Oprah was born. She lived with her grandmother Hattie Mae in a ghetto for the first six years of her life. Where did her parents go or why was she living with Hattie Mae?
She taught herself to read at the age of three. Why? Says who?
Lead into this: What other terrible things happened to her before she was molested? Was there anything in her younger life that would indicate this was going to happen? The most terrible thing that has happened to her was when she was molested by her cousins, uncle, and family starting at the nine.
When she was thirteen she ran away and became pregnant at fourteen,
but gave birth, to a stillborn.
Today, at age 53, Oprah has become the richest African-American female in history and is currently worth $1.5 billion. Friends say/she says she always wanted to be an actress. She began her career at seventeen,
becoming the youngest news anchor and the first colored female at Nashville's WLAC-TV. In 1983, her show Donahue became the number one talk show in Chicago, Illinois. It was later renamed The Oprah Winfrey Show and first aired under that name on September 8th, 1986.
Aside from acting, she now co-owns Oxygen and her own production company
"Harpo"--that's Oprah spelled backwards! She won an Academy Award for starring as Sofia in "The Color Purple", the show she produced on Broadway. She also has two magazines called The O, and O at home!
Additionally, she has provided relief to many people through various chariable events. One of her key areas of aid has been to children’s education. In January 2007, Oprah opened the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in Johannesburg, South Africa.. For this project alone, Oprah invested gave $40 million towards the school, classrooms, books, desks and uniforms.
According to television channel E!, she is now worth $1.5 billion and currently resides on a forty-two acre estate in Montecito, California. She has reported to have paid $50 million on this mansion. Besides this she owns many more homes in different locations. How does this contribute to the flow of the story? Thus far you have been talking about how she is charitable and a strong woman and now you are saying she wastes money on lots of homes.I don’t feel this is necessary in the essay and could be cut to make it flow and contribute to your main thesis better.
This makes sense, because it continues on about her charitable contributions. In fall of 2004 she gave away 276 Pontiac G6's to everyone in her audience, spending over $7 million, each car costing $28,400.
Oprah Winfrey is a role model to me as well as many other people. At the age of fifty-three
Oprah is still doing wonderful things for adults and children every day.

The essay still needs a lot of smoothing out and a little more filler. Don’t copy and paste an essay together in future, it’s just not a good idea and usually ends up backfiring. Best of luck.

Also, your theme statement doesn't match your conclusion. You need to decide whether your essay is about Oprah's accomplishments or whether it is about her being a role model and focus your essay from there.

Answer 2

i think its just one of those exceptions, like if u say : "why doesn't she start a band" its right, and if u say " why does she not start a band its right" , but the thing u stated is right. In many cases in English, u cant just make don't do not. its just wrong. yea its bad grammar. its weird. however, if u say "why are you not starting a band" is right. English is incredibly weird

Answer 3

You repeat your self to much. Sounds like a 7th graded wrote it.

Answer 4

you keep saying she. and if this is a formal essay, you dont say me or I, and you haven't cited any information