honestly, do you like this poem that i wrote?

Question

i wrote this poem for my poety class but im not sure if i like it. do u think its good??




You look in to his eyes and he looks back
He leans in and hugs you
As if you were being blown away
He stares again then makes his move
His hand on you cheek
As you cheek starts blushing
He moves in and everything feels
As if you are in heaven
And nothing could ever harm you
His moves feel like heaven and
You have just been taken by
The angles;
Lovers 1st kiss

Answer 1

Very good, now go to poetry.com and copyright it.

Answer 2

All poetry doesn't have to rhyme. There's different types of poems and styles of poetry. The good thing about your poem is that it's a good subject that you wrote about. I love your last three lines...sounds very poetic. But it does sound like a draft, and needs some work to make it stand out. In poetry you should use "showing and not telling". Also try using more imagery to really paint a picture. Don't use cliches in poetry or compare things to the obvious such as " everything feels as if you are in heaven" It's such a common line. In poetry the key is to be different...give your audience something they've never heard before. Don't forget to proofread your work as a poet...the critics will count it against you.

To help you write poetry check out beta.poets.com

Answer 3

It's all right, but you should think it's great no matter what anybody says, it's your poem and you've got potential.

Answer 4

It's nice--but I don't really get "as if you were being blown away". It doesn't seem to fit in right there....

Answer 5

Shouldn't it ryme to be a poem ?

Answer 6

Yes it is good.

Answer 7

I don't like it. It's rather plain. But, don't listen to me..

Answer 8

thats good.