tell me the best joke that u can
it can be any kind
whoever tells me the funniest joke wins
2007-02-25 10:45:24 · 15 answers · asked by 1prettypeach 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Q.What's the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
A:the oyster-shucker shucks between fits......
2007-02-25 10:48:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok. There's this whole family that died in a car crash, only their pet monkey survived. Some reporter tried interviewing him. She thought he was smart and knew what happened to the family. So she asked what the Dad was doing, the monkey showed someone drinking. Then she asked about the Mom, he said that she kept talking and arguing with the Dad. Next, she asked about the 2 kids, the monkey showed 2 people playing around with their hands or whatever. "So, what were you doing?" the reporter asked the monkey. The monkey pointed at himself first and kind of gave a smirk. He smiled, while pretending to drive the wheel.
It's kinda less funny if it's in written form. It's better if I show you though. but I can't.
I laughed so hard when I heard it first.
2007-02-25 18:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by try_and_get_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There once was this blonde, and she was sitting at the table with her husband eating breakfast before he went to work. Out of the blue the blonde says,"Honey today while your at work I am goning to paint the house." The husband says "No, no dear don't paint the house because then when I come home from work I will just have to clean everything up, just please don't do it." So the husband went to work and when he came home the house smelled like paint. Then he went up to their bedroom, and he saw his wife laying on the floor with 2 coats on and sweating to death. He ran over to her and said, "Honey, honey what's wrong why on earth are you sweating to death?" She got up and grabed the paint cane, went over to her husband and said, "Well look at the can dummy, it says for best results put on 2 coats!"
2007-02-25 19:17:12 · answer #3 · answered by Preppy Prep Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
age related joke my mom heard and told me today.
An 65-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day the 65-year-old man came back to the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as empty.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:
Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help.
She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.
The lady next door and she tried too, with both hands, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! "You asked the lady next door?"
The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the stupid jar open.
2007-02-25 18:53:00 · answer #4 · answered by Ginnykitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isnt really a joke I can tell but its pretty funny. Go to glumbert.com. In the search type in effects of alcohol and drugs on spider webs. When it comes up click on it and watch it. Its pretty funny.
2007-02-25 18:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by sissy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have a joke, and i have a riddle.
joke- what do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Lucky
riddle- how is it possible for someone to shoot their husband, hold their husband underwater for 5 minutes, then hang them on the wall, and go to dinner with them two hours later, with them still alive? scroll down for answer
down
shoot a picture of them, hold it underwater for five minutes, then hang them on the wall, then go to dinner.
2007-02-25 18:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by wiwionyofayce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
George W. Bush
2007-02-25 18:47:33 · answer #7 · answered by DMRDX122 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
geeez i just tell it to the other guy before you---okey
there were 3 women stranded in an island
one day they found an aladin lamp in the shore
the gennie gave them one wish each
the first one wish to be with her boyfriend---whooos shes gone
the second one wish to be with her husband--whooos shes gone
the third one just feel lonely for being alone so she wished that they all back in the island-----whooos!!!!
2007-02-25 18:56:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can three people keep a secret?if two r dead then they can.the joke is by j rr tolken.love the book the hobbit!
2007-02-25 18:50:06 · answer #9 · answered by freakytoad53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is not the best: "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance and Germany doesn't want to go to war."
2007-02-25 18:49:32 · answer #10 · answered by fruit_challenge 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋