Is it so wrong to want a day off?

Question

First off I want to say that I love my husband and he is a great dad. Loveing and good with the kids. He works hard all week and I am not begrudging him some relaxing time when the week end comes but what I want to know is as a stay at home mom am I wrong for wanting a day off to? I love my kids and I like to look after them and the house. IT's just lately I find that I feel like I could use a day off. I don't want to go out clubbing,or shopping or anything like that I just want one day where I don't have to cook ,clean up or chase after the kids.But I feel guilty when I ask my husband to do things like make dinner every once in awhile. Or even just watch the kids while I lay down and read a book. Is it just me or do all stay at home mom's feel this way.

Answer 1

It's like you're reading my mind. My husband works all week and has a long commute. When he gets home at night we see him for about 3 hours then he goes to bed. But here's the point, while he's working and commuting I'm working a full time job caring for our children cooking and cleaning for them and him, washing everyones clothes and trying to teach the children how to become good adults (a lot more work then you would think). So As far as I'm concerned the moment he gets home half of whats left to do is his responsibility same goes for the weekends. I rarely require that much effort from him but you bet that when I say I need a break he makes sure I get one. The last thing he wants is for me to go on strike.

Answer 2

A lot of stay at home moms feel this way. They never get a day off just for themselves. They often feel guilty because the dad, their husband is the breadwinner and the women try to be perfect and please their husbands and give too much of themselves. They think that this shows appreciation to their husband for doing what he does........being the sole provider for the family.....but at the same time, he has a drive to and from work each day to talk alone on his phone, he has friends and fun and parties at work, work related stuff, and you sit at home with the kids all day. You take them with you everywhere you go, and so on and so forth. Especially mothers with little kids, or like 2 or more kids. You are a cook, a cleaner, a nurse, a teacher, a mother,a wife, a neighbor, a chauffer, a secretary, all of those things when you are a stay at home mom. Husbands who are the only income earners in the family also tend to think that since they earn all the money that their wife has to do everything, but they would never stay at home with the kids all day, unless their wife was making a TON more money and it could buy them all the toys they wanted. Guys with stay at home wives tend to overuse and sometimes abuse the fact that their wife stays home. So........the next time you want to take a bubble bath, ALONE, or go shopping, go get your hair and nails done, go out to eat and get some drinks with your girlfriends, then tell your husband if he will not watch the kids and take a turn, then you are hiring a babysitter. Don't feel bad for wanting to do something for yourself.........it is called self-love, and you have to love yourself before you can love others. in fact, you might start to hate the people you care for, live with or are related to if you are stressed out by them.

Answer 3

I feel this way and I just have one child!

It's completely normal, motherhood is a 28 hour a day job- constantly on call, never allowed to fully relax for the minute you do, someone inevitably needs something...yes, I know that I said 28 hours a day :)

You need a little time to your self...stop feeling guilty about wanting your man to make dinner once in a while. You NEED that all important 'me-time'- you will be a far better mom once you've relaxed a little bit (not that you aren't the best you can be anyway!) It's just more enjoyable spending time with others when you know you have had time to yourself.

Answer 4

No it is not wrong to want a day off. I am pretty much a stay at home mother as well. I work part time at my childrens school 1 1/2 hours a day, plus voluteer in their classroom 3 days a week, take home work to correct and make copies for their class. Last year I left working full time to spend more time doing stuff around the house and helping out the kids. However I find that day after day after day, I feel I need what I call a "mental break". I just want to do nothing, but lay down and read. I used to feel bad about my husband helping out since he is tired and works full time plus, but we need a break too. I just tell him that I feel a little overwhelmed and need to relax and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. All my time is used for taking care of the kids, the house, homework and our animals. We deserve a break too. It's a lot of work to keep everything going smoothly and you should not feel bad about taking a little time for yourself. My husband and I have an agreement for when I feel like this, I just don't do anything. No cooking, cleaning or helping the kids with homework or feeding the animals. Our children understand this now, that I need my time, so they pitch in and help. So PLEASE make sure to take time for yourself, otherwise you will loose yourself and get emotionally withdrawn and no one will benefit from that. Remember that if you don't take care of yourself and/or get sick, who is going to take care of everything else??? Don't feel bad either, you really shouldn't. If you take a little time for yourself, you will feel better and refreshed. I love my husband and our children, but I need to make sure I don't get lost in taking care of everything. Reading is my outlet. You should find something that you can loose yourself in so you can relax! (Even if it's for a little bit) Your a mom and that is a wonderful challenge in its self. I'm sure your husband will understand too. Talk to him. Wish you the best!!!

Answer 5

I understand, been there done that. But you are entitled to have a "day off" as well. Maybe what you could discuss with your husband is one day, let's say Saturday is your day off. He takes the kids somewhere and they eat out. You do what you want, even if it's laying in front of the tv with the remote in one hand and a beer in the other! kidding. But yes, you deserve a day off. I wasn't a stay at home mom, but a mom that tried reeeeeaaaalllly hard to be super woman for many years. Once the kids were gone, I was almost too burnt out for my husband.

Answer 6

i am a stay at home mom and i am divorced and i just got remarried last year i have 2 kids of my own and my new husband has 2 kids and i am a stay at home mom and i need a break sometimes to and i understand where u are coming from.i say make a date with your husband once a month and get a baby sitter so u can take a break. and i also talk to your husband and tell him u need a little mental break from the kids this works wonders being honest to your husband how u feel

Answer 7

i fell the same way but i fell just as bad because my husband has a bad back. I try to do every thing i can but i do get real tired but in the end if i don't ask him for some help i will get angry and argue with him all men think its easy to stay at home with the kids but its not i would love to work and let him do the house work and cook etc. but all mums need time off.

Answer 8

You are not wrong to want a day off - you work hard - 24/7 - of course you want a day off. Just explain to your husband you need a little break - you said it yourself, he's a great dad - he will most likely understand and "give you some time off". I'd also like to suggest sending the kids to Grandma's for the night - then you both get a day off together!!

Answer 9

I get every other Sunday off. My husband has to get up with the kids. Make all meals and change all diapers. I get to do what ever I want even if it just to sit on the couch or relax in a bath. He gets the opposite Sunday. I have to get up and keep the kids quiet while he sleeps in and he doesn't do anything all day plus he get to chose what I cook. This has helped to insure we both don't get worn out.

Answer 10

Sounds like you need a girl's night or day out. If you have any sisters or friends, invite them out and ask hubby if he'll watch the kids for you. It's not wrong to need to get away from the kids once in a while. In fact, if you value your sanity, then you NEED to get away from the kids once in a while! My hubby watches the kids while I relax, even when I was a stay-at-home mom. Good luck. Ray's wife, April