Ive been dating this guy for over a year, ive been going through a lot, he just cant seem to get it. I cut my self a few weeks ago, and all he was worried about was how its affecting him, he just told me i better stop or hes going to leave me. I know he cares, how can I make him show it better?
2007-02-25 10:26:13 · 9 answers · asked by Mz♥Jade 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You can't make someone care for you. You have to care about yourself and get help for yourself. To be so tied up in someone else's feelings that you're hurting yourself is a HUGE red flag. Find someone (a teacher, a trusted adult,) and tell them what's going on. This guy is not going to help you through any of this. His main concern is himself!
2007-02-25 10:35:10 · answer #1 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoa, deja vu..sorry, it just sounds like the same case scenario that I've been going through. Well the only thing that has really worked is to tell him the truth, and to promise to talk to him or someone close to you before considering to do anything. Basically just be freely honest with him, for some reason it seems hard for him to understand, which is why I think he makes it a really big deal, so if you can get him to understand more clearly he will be more up to helping and supporting you. My boyfriend has told me the same thing, that he will leave me if it persists, we have gone through many heated discussions, and in that time he starts to get a clearer understanding, so your best bet is to try to find the best way to help him understand.
To answer your last question, he is probably showing the best way he knows how that he cares. A lot of people show it by yelling and trying everything they can to get it through that he wants you to stop and get better. As my boyfriend always says he doesn't know what else to do to get it through my head that I need to get better, so he goes to the last resort in saying that he will break up with me if I don't stop and get better.
Just hang in there, and try everything you can to try and show/tell him how this is effecting you and that you need him now for support.
2007-02-25 10:45:51 · answer #2 · answered by ARK_drummer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I can understand why he is acting the way he is. The cutting is a cry for attention and not much else. Try getting some help for yourself instead of wallowing in self pity. No wonder he doesn't want to show he cares, he probably thinks you're turning into some wackjob. Get help like a grown up, and then worry about having a relationship.
2007-02-25 10:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by Charlie Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a doctor, You need to look after your self first. Guys just don't understand depression. Womens bodies are always changing not like guys. I have been there. Go and speak to a doctor, there is plenty of medications on the market. If he loves you he will stay in the back ground until you are better.
2007-02-25 10:39:12 · answer #4 · answered by wendybartram2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I just went through this about 4 years ago. I had horrible anxiety ...I still do but it is better now....any way the guy I was with for 5 years couldnt help me...wouldnt help me...only thought about himself...and you know what? after all that crap he ended up leaving me...I was so depressed before he left I would cry constantly...the ONLY relief I got was writing in a journal...prayers to God...I wrote to God everynight. And eventually things got better for me...but it wasnt him who helped...It was me..and God. It is winter and you are probably in a funk due to the dreariness? I am assuming u are not in a sunny state...maybe try walking and going to tanning bed just for the vitamins you normally get from sunshine...and hang in there
2007-02-25 11:33:46 · answer #5 · answered by jamzesmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make it very obvious that you need him. He will only see it when it is out in front of him. I know this is going to sound very stereotypical, but most guys dont really see something until it is about an inch infront of their face's and it is plain as day. Apparently the cutting didn't show that you needed his help in his mind. It probably just showed to him that you are looking for attention and need to get help. In this case you don't need either.
I would have to say that you should talk to a family member or someone that is very close to you. See what they think. I would have to say, that you should take a week for yourself. Don't see him, don't talk to him. It is going to be really hard to do, but I myself have found out from past experiences that if someone really cares about you, and you take a week from them, they will be crawling back to you. If he cares about you as much as you think he does, he will want you back in a couple of day, but even though he wants you back, keep that week to yourself. It will just make you grow more stronger.
2007-02-25 11:01:00 · answer #6 · answered by dampit07 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to actually tell him, how you feel. cutting yourself is calling for help, but not everyone gets your call. Explain to him what is your problem and what is making you feel like that and tell him, how important for you is his support. if he loves you, he will give you his support. if he leaves you when first problems appear, he wasnt worth it.
2007-02-25 10:42:10 · answer #7 · answered by Eli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this guy isn't worth being with. let him go and you get yourself to a doctor x
2007-02-25 10:46:12 · answer #8 · answered by Madness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have sex with him. duh
2007-02-25 10:52:34 · answer #9 · answered by leondedan 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋